I have been home alone since yesterday morning. Really quite!! I am enjoying the peace! Didn't even get dressed yesterday. Am heading out in a little while to see American Sweethearts or whatever the title is. Need some laughs.<P>Have been thinking... (Been alone remember) The end is near we seperate and go our own ways on the 10th. I am ok with this and have my Plan B letter typed. (will post it later)<P>There are lots of things that I will miss about the man that is my husband, but the thing that I will miss the most is the family interaction. My house is always crazy, 2 teenagers their girl/boyfriends, my 10 year old and what ever other kids are passing through. I have always thought that it was pretty neat that my kids liked bring their friends to our house (Found out recently that most of the friends ask to come to our house) there is always munchies and drinks and games, board games, card games, music, laughter always loud. We treat the friends as we do our own and tease and mess with them and each other. This was all going on the other day and my H had walked into the kitchen and smiled, no one else had seen the smile, and I just had to say "You are going to miss this aren't you?" He said "yes", knowing that it will never be like that for him again. Right now the kids really don't want to have anything to do with the other women and she them.<P>We have always had a great family life, arguements and such with kids wanting their own way, but always knew that there was forgiveness and love, didn't deter from the greatness of the family. Our family is never going to be the same again. It will never be the 5 of us, it is going to be dad, OW and kids or it's going to mom and kids, never "our family" And I guess that is what hurts the most. That he is not willing to stand up and fight for that,he is throwing it to the wind in such a selfish way. After you have had that kind of great family life nothing will ever replace it, I think that my H will crave it sometimes and that is when we will hear from him or he will show up to visit, and he has already stated that he will not bring the OW when he comes to visit the kids, isn't that funny?!!!<P>He and the kids went up to New york to see his family for a few days, had to tell the 10 year old daughter Wed night before they left, that was hard, she cried, I cried we talked and all she could say at the end was "I wish that you could just love each other" if it were that simple. He did agree that he would tell his family, (had stated that he wouldn't ruin a nice visit) don't think he wants to be told how wrong he is, (non of us like to be told that) 16 yo D, said in my ear as they were leaving if he doesn't tell I will. Should have to be left to her. Makes me mad!!<P>Must go if I am going to make the movie and grab lunch.<P>Am glad to see that it is the site that is having problems and not me with my computer, I usually play solitaire waiting for screens to come up and have racked up some points.<P>Take care, and Gods blessing to all.<P>Dawn

Just a 'Hi!' and some encouragement...<P>Perhaps read some of the noteable posts...I have read many people whose WS's went with OW and they went to plan B....and WS came back...<P>It's never over 'til it's over and we're not in charge of that...we can never know how things will turn out.<P>Expect the best, prepare for the worst...<P>Even if you H stayed, things would still never be 'the same.' Life is ever changing...<P>My prayers and thoughts are with you.<P>Cali

Well, I am glad that you took the time to answer me when you sound so upset yourself. You'll make it through, no matter what happens, you are strong enough to win, right. Imagine the armor(it does wonders). You're going to be alright. Someday and somehow I believe we are all going to be ok. There is more faith here than I think I have ever encountered in my entire life. God is with you. I can't remember how it goes but somewhere it says "My peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you, not as the world gives it, give I unto you." It's probably all wrong, but I am not one for remembering things. Anyway, enjoy your weekend.

Daybreak......your post caught my eye because, I, too, am a family-oriented person who thrives on having interaction with my teenagers and their friends. Their enjoyment and laughter always boost my spirits no matter how low or tired I feel at the time. I thank God everyday that he has blessed me with the companionship of wonderful youngsters who are bright, articulate and blessed with good common sense. As funny as it sounds, I learn alot from my kids. My thirteen year old son always encourages me to "keep it simple" whereas his older sister tells me not to "sweat the small stuff." The words out of babes mouths, eh?<P>All in all, our future leaders DON'T look bad......LOL!<P><P>------------------<BR><B>Time heals all wounds as long as you DON'T pick at them!</B>

I agree with GeezLouise...<P>A friend of mine who is seperated and talking with her 13 year old son last week. They were talking about all that was happening and how much she loved him and he pops out with, "Don't worry Mom, it takes alot more than this to trash my self esteem. You do what you need to be happy, and I will still be here." I thought to myself, if only his father was more like him...LOL!<P>Trueheart

Daybreak<P>I didn't know the MB techniques when I was married the first time. I can say I did not do a good plan A, but I am awesome at B!!! haha (sorry bad joke.)<P>Anyways - just want you to know that my first marriage WOULD have been restored had I employed a good plan A, I'm sure. We split up, put the divorce on hold, dated (even while he was with OW ;( ) and then continued to date for another couple of years. I loved that idiot with all my heart, but I could not and did not (nor know about) plan A. I am confident at this point in our lives (15 years later) if I wanted a relationship with him he'd come running back. (blech blech gag gag he's a pig). <P>So, you don't have to grieve too much - just yet. Do as best a plan A for as long as you can - before you go to plan B. And when you go to plan B - stick with it - till you get the changes you want in him, or you decide you want to plan B the rest of your life!<P>Hang in there.<BR>You are doing wonderful.<BR>TnT

Thanks to all for the encouragement! And yes Cali I will read the noteables. Just an FYI my husband is Puerto Rican, very light skinned and I am not. OW is though!<P>American Sweethearts was great! Great date flick!<P>I stopped at the store on the way home and bought a new microwave, safety box and portfolio, figure H can take the old micro, need safety box for important papers like marriage certficate, and portfolio for the meetings and writing my business plan. Good things coming into my life.<P>Talked with my mom before and she has a lead on a very nice house in her neighborhood for rent at something that I can afford.<P>Haven't heard from my kids as to how the visit is going I am sure that the little one will call sometime tonight yet.<P>I had my pity party yesterday, am done now. I expect nothing so anything that comes my way from H is a nice suprise. Went and read a couple of chapters of SAA at the book store and Love is tough. Good stuff. <P>Some of my fight is diminished, as I am waiting for the Lord to show me his plan. Hope that that will be soon, know that we are not to push though.<P>Must get something to eat and take a short nap before work tonight. Will be back then as there is never anything to do on my shift but set there and wait for the phone to ring! I like my job!<P>C ya Dawn

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by trueheart:<BR><B><BR>he pops out with, "Don't worry Mom, it takes alot more than this to trash my self esteem. You do what you need to be happy, and I will still be here." </B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>OMG....I think that I've heard it ALL now! This is a great comeback from the little man. I tell you, the kids today are so much more aware of their inner-selves as compared to when I was a teenager (many moons ago, I assure you.) I was caught up in the hippie-thing during the late 60's and early 70's in the latter part of the "Vietnam War" era. The things that I thought about and actually did are quite moronic now that I think back on it....LOL! My children and their "peeps" have more focus on where they want to go with their lives and do not compromise their ethics. <P>My generation is the last to have experienced some of the "Leave it to Beaver" family code of honor. Today's child is very resilient to adversity whereas yesterday's child was extremely rebellious about any given issue that aroused our parents ire and proceeded to the "jump on the bandwagon" attitude. <P>It's a real shame to expose this younger generation to the decline of the family unit as we knew it and warmly anticipated being a part of. Then, again, these days, youngster's see much more in their early years and create coping mechanisms to avoid being sucked into the violent threshold of pain brought on by a loved-one, be it family or friend. In my opinion, kids are much more astute to what is happening around them and react accordingly. It's imperative that parents keep the line of communication open at all times. Everyone knows (or should know) that the lack of communication is what creates the atmosphere that will eventually help destroy a relationship. <P>Ahhhh.....enough of me......thanks for listening to me go on and on like the Everyready bunny.<P>------------------<BR><B>Time heals all wounds as long as you DON'T pick at them!</B>