First, I am to be called Monday to schedule a time for Counseling for me!!<P>We go to one of our favorite hang outs & it is "happy Hour" & my wife is wearing, what I think to be shorts that are on the short side & a tank top & she does look on the hot side. So we walk in & sit down at booth across from the bar & this guy at the bar is "Checking her out" & I try to ignore this but I catch his stair with a stair from me to him right back at him. He continues to sneak glances and at one point it is obvious he is starring down at her butt & legs. My W notices my stairs back at this guy & I she starts to give me some static like I am going to start a fight & I tell her that I know she did not make any initiation, but that I am having some serious anxieties & to please not give me Shxx. She continues to tell me that I have to get used to this & that maybe we can't go out anymore. <BR>I said nothing about what I thought was her "look" that I thought was on the provocative side. I ask her to please change the subject & that I'm trying my best to deal with this. She continues to be mad & I honesty tried to ignore this guy & get into a pleasant mood. <BR>My W seems to show no empathy for my anxieties and she is obviously not going to change her ways! <P>I mean is it totally ridiculous for me to ask a 48 year to tone it down a bit -- I mean what is wrong with shorts that show 1/2 the leg vs. 3/4 and a non-tank top or halter top for public?? Is a top with short sleeves totally out of fashion??!! Am I a totally nerd on this??!!<BR>Thanks!<BR>HH<P>

I understand your situation. My wife also does this. These ladies like to look good. The problem is that all the other men will stare ate them or go after them. The ladies don't mind this. They say they are strong enough to resist temptation. Your wife and mine had an affair however so we are short on the trust side. You can't really tell your wife to not wear this or that or to stay home. Some women like the flirting. I don't like it myself. It's good the wife looks good for you but it's bad she looks good for the other men too. I think the best for you is to let your wife have her way unless she wears underwear in public. Maybe she has only got a few more years left of her youth. You just have to watch it if she goes alone somewhere dressed in an unacceptable manner (but that's hard to define). The positive side is you wife looks hot to you and she is your wife and not someone else's wife. When you marry someone beautiful these feelings must be common. The other end of the spectrum is wives or husbands who could care less how they look and they dress and act like pigs. Do you think this is better? Of course there should be a happy balance.

wait till she gets pierced and goes braless<P>

Speaking from a woman's point of view, there should be a happy medium. I too like to dress nice when my husband and I go out. I'm attractive and I look fine in a shorter skirt and I will wear them. But there is a fine line between dressing attractive and dressing to purposely attract attention to yourself by being inappropriately dressed for a married woman in a bar scene. I know when I look nice my husband notices and so do other men. I think my husband is flattered when another man glances at me because I look good. But are they looking at me because I'm an attractive woman dressed nicely or I look like I'm "easy". Big difference. Only you can answer just "how" your wife was dressed. If it was more on the "easy" side then I would question her reasoning. Is it because she suffers from low self-esteem? Is it because she's trying to make you jealous? My brother's ex wife was beautiful. My brother is a very well built man and is intimidates a lot of men because of his size. His ex thought it was funny to get men's attention, flirt with them and get my brother upset. She thought it was "romantic" that he'd fight for her if one of the men she was setting up made a pass at her. PLEASE! Now a days you can't trust anybody. Lots of people don't fight with just their fists. Guns and knives are pulled. It's a sick game if a woman likes to play it.

hmmph.. sorry this topic is a trigger for me.. well if she does get pricked.. hopefully your the one who gets to play with them =( Wasn't for me.. although I paid for it.. twice now; but I have got to look and touch for the most part. Bothersome part is she likes everyone to know =( and the OM has alot more experience with them than I do.

HH:<BR>I don't think you're a nerd. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and ASSUME that you're just a normal guy, and not a possessive, jealous wierdo. If your wife is hot-looking, then, good for her! (and good for YOU, TOO - after all, she is YOUR wife!) But, I gotta ask - why are you going to pick-up bars with her anyways? Why don't you try to find some fun, more wholesome and healthy things to do together? Pick-up bars are for losers who DON'T HAVE HOT WIVES AT HOME TO PLAY WITH! <BR>Face it, - you go to a pick-up joint, you gotta expect some moron to be eye-balling your wife right in front of you.<BR>I say you should change your mode of entertainment. Because going to pick-up bars with a hot-looking wife is only asking for trouble!

Hey HH,<BR>Was reading about your concerns re: your wife's attire. This is how I see it. We should be dressing for each other. If she is not dressing for YOU and only YOU then, who is she dressing for and that goes both ways. If she dresses to please you and only you, then she would respect your tastes and what you like to see her wearing and you would do the same.<P>If you are not enthusiastically in agreement about what each other is wearing, then it looks like a love buster to me.<P>I'm sorry if I'm missing some parts to your story, but I definitely have a pet peeve about the way my husband dresses and I feel insulted when he doesn't take my input into consideration. I'll be praying for you guys!<P>IMHO, if you guys feel comfortable going out to bars, then go wherever you want. I think you are feeling more uncomfortable about her ability to disregard your feelings when it comes to her attire. THAT is a biggie and I empathize with you there. I would be upset also.

Hi HH,<P>From your post I can understand both your points of view. <P>If your wife is 48, she thinks she's old enough to decide what she wants in life and to decide how she wants to dress. She wants you to respect her for that and she doesn't want you making judgement calls. She also wants to relax when she's out with you and if you're getting tense she can't do this. For me, that's understandable.<P>For you, you don't want other guys looking at your wife in a certain way. And you don't want her attracting this unwanted attention. You also feel uncomfortable in public when other guys are looking at her. This is perfectly understandable too. <P>However, I think it's you that's got to accept that you don't own your wife. That's damned hard to do, I know. My wife is 38 - she has an MA, so she's proven how intelligent she is. There's no way on this earth that she's going to accept me telling her what to do, or how to dress. She'll let me influence her decisions by asking what I think and I try to influence her choices by going with her to buy clothes. But the final say is hers and I respect that.<P>The other thing is that you don't own other guys either. You can't make other men not look at your wife and you run the additional risk that some guy is going to see that you're getting upset and, just for the fun of it, he's going to wind you up. <P>Basically, I think us men just have to learn to relax and go with the flow sometimes. I really think we men make it a lot more difficult for ourselves than it needs to be. <P>good luck, <P>