Okay -here's a brief rundown on my situation- MY H of 15 yrs had a very involved A with a single coworker -it was an EA for the first year then turned PA the last few months before he confessed- he told me on Valentines day when I confronted him that he was leaving me for her.He said 'our marriage was over in his head.' I didn't throw him out right away but after 10 days he was staying out all night with her so I asked him to leave. He moved out for a month- he moved into OW's empty condo( she took a job transfer to another state then because she told him she was tired of him coming home to ME every night( his own wife!?) She kept telling him to divorce me and marry her. He came home for dinner just about every night that he was sleeping at her empty condo. Said he was 'confused' didnt know what he wanted. She came back to pack her stuff for a wk and she put so much pressure on him we began to fight alot and he filed for D on me then cancelled it the next day.( $900 mistake!) After that she moved away for her job transfer and he went over to pack up some bedding and phones and stuff he had been using during the time he was staying at her place. ( I went along because I didnt believe she was really GONE- she HAD moved out so I picked up a real estate flyer for my memory book). Anyway that was in the middle of March. For 2 mo after that H moved back home because the condo was sold but he was in withdrawal and depressed- didnt want to work on our marriage until about 6 wks ago. We are now in marriage counseling. However- he has had these boxes of her stuff either in our garage or in his car since March!!! H and OW are both in the shipping biz so he says he wants to send the stuff to her new work location as it would be cheaper than Mailboxes ETC. However he never seems to get AROUND to it! I have mentioned it 3 times in the last 6 wks. What should I do about this? Why would he hold on to this stuff so long????Could he be afraid she's going to start pressuring him to divorce me again? He claims he is truly committed to reconciling now with me. I am so confused! Should I ship the stuff back myself? lifeismessy

Life...<P>Can you pick a time to do it together? I believe that he doesn't want to do it out of fear of her reaction. Remember, even though she moved away, he has not had closure to this whole situation. Did he ever write a NO Contact letter stating that he was staying with you to work on things? Did he ever actually tell her it was over? Until he can do those things, and you two can ship the stuff back, the A may be over, but the withdrawal and the feelings of the A may remain. Tell him you are in his corner and understand his reluctance. Ask him about his feelings of closure with OW and A. See what you can do to help this situation. If he says nothing, hes still in withdrawal and fears sending it back. That would send her the message, and he doesnt want to end it that way. I am not defending him but trying to help you understand where he may be.<P>*Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.*<P>Trueheart

Trueheart gave some great advice LIM. That's exactly what you should do.<P>Is it possible for you to ask him if he would like you to take care of it, since you realize how difficult it will be for him? He can just mumble okay and he'll never have to hear or worry about it again... Just a thought.<P>LOL, <BR>HbH