Just received e-mail from WS, saying that she would be away to gather herself. She never mention for how long or where this would be, just told me to take care. She also mention that she think, the changes I have made (Plan A) are too difficult and not fair for me. (Fog, yes I know)<P>I have thought that we were on our way to recovery, (sigh, yes I actually for a moment thought that I am so lucky to avoid the rollercoster)<P>I just never felt this hopeless in my life before

Don't give up hope just yet, okay!!??<P>She's in the fog... it's clear ... "finding herself" = fog talk.<P>Your Plan A efforts were NOTICED, and she feels GUILTY. You are doing well. Honestly.<P>Now, I know it will be hard not knowing where she is and all, but she won't be gone long, I bet. I would put money on it, if I were a gambler.<P>Hang in there, the end hasn't come yet.<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>And we know. We who have seen. ~Pellegrino

Not much you can do other than the Plan A you are currently doing. Maybe a little snooping to see about further contact. From my experience any talk of space, time apart or time to get myself together could really be translated into "you're being way to nice to me and it is starting to interfere with how I feel about the OM." Her statement about "fair" to you sounds like the guilt monster might be on the loose. <P>S. Harley once told me that this type of reaction had some silver lining in the fact that your likely doing a good Plan A.<P>I don’t know your story but if the OM is close by, I'd have to bet that you'd probably find them together.<BR><p>[This message has been edited by Hi Infidelity (edited July 20, 2001).]

Dear H,<P>What does this mean? Is there something good to be seen out of this pain? <P>Let's see. ..... usually that I need to be alone stuff means they want to get away from us and be with the OP. What's the benefit in that? oh..... let's say, it give the OP the opportunity to LB!!!!! YEA!!!!<P>Did that put a small smile on your face? Hope so. So far, that is what has mostly happened from the experiences here. Even in my case. Yep, the very thing they hope for, opportunity to be 'together', is often the cause of their downfall. You see OPs and WSs can't plan A and plan B too well, they are tooo selfish and guilty. <P>So you are the one with the power to be good. Let it shine. Tomorrow is another day for you to shine. <P>Take Care,<BR>L.<BR>

ditto the others.<P>I don't think anyone - BSs and returning WSs - has ever avoided a few laps on the 'coaster. Think of it as what adds significance to the lessons we're learning.<P>Hang on!!<P>WAT

OK, she finally called again, IM yesterday and by phone this morning. <P>A little clarification first, WS move in with her parents shortly after D-day. We all live in the same city, in-laws, us, and OM. So she could spend as much time as she like with OM already (the OM lives less than a block from the in-laws), thus I don't believe its the primary reason for her to go 3hrs away from where everyone of our friends are (mind you, 3 hrs as in time zone, not driving, and that's all the information she is volunteering now). <P>She was there for 3 days and have already start looking for jobs?? What was she thinking? I am confuessed, she call twiced this morning just to talk to me, of koz I was glad and had a nice conversation. And Txt Msg my cell to comment about the weather in our home city and ask me to dress accordingly? wow, I think that's the most attendtion I had from her in a long while, but yet, she is planning to stay away?<P>Plz help me understand......