I haven't posted for awhile. I've been in limbo for weeks. My H left for six days over the 4th to think. He was with OW. When he came back I confronted him and he admitted finally to an A. We did lots of talking that week, and then I went out on Sat morning, and I came back to a note saying he is sorry for putting me and us through so much pain. He said he needed to think again about what we had discussed. Of course, he was thinking over at OW. I had never mentioned that I knew who it was, so I paged him and said that since he was with her (said name), it didn't seem like he would be doing much thinking about us. I said that I was very disappointed. So he shows up on Monday night, and says he still wants to talk. By this point, I am going crazy. I asked what is there to talk about? Somehow we then ended up talking for four hours. He still pointed fingers at me saying he would stop seeing her if I would promise to work on some areas that he thought I should improve. I said I thought it should be the other way around. He should stop seeing her and we could start marriage counseling, and then I would put in 100 percent to save our marriage. On Thurs, he agreed to counseling. On Friday, I came home to a note that just said "I'm sorry." I haven't seen him since. Do I just keep putting up with this? What do I say if he shows up this week?

Everron,<P>You have things very backwards if you want your marriage to survive. Please go read about Plan A. During this plan one does a variety of things. The first is to stop all LB's. It sounds as if your H pointed out what some of them were. The second thing is to stop and evaluate yourself and the things you think need to be improved, if they coincide with some of the things your H mentioned better yet. Fix those things.<P>The idea of Plan A is for the WS spouse to realize things will change, that there is hope for the marriage, and home may not be a bad place to be.<P>I know this sounds backwards to you, but it is only because you haven't admitted something to yourself. He left for a reason, and in his mind those reasons are tied up with you.<BR>So give him reason to reconsider. I know it sounds tough, well it is, but it is very effective.<P>Please do some reading.<P>God Bless,<P>JL