Hi everbody,<P>Just wanted to let you know - I’m so happy today, I could burst. My wife is the WS, I’m the BS. I started Plan Aing my heart out around June 20th (June 15th was the day I found out) and I’m so lucky to have found this site very early on in my troubles. It’s been really hard work and despite my intensity, I’ve stayed very focused, not backed off and it’s working. We had a tough weekend – one which I thought would end it all - but I believe we made a major step forward with our recovery on Saturday night/Sunday morning.<P>Saturday night was a dissaster, we had a major LB which was caused by one of her very annoying habits. I blew a gasket. So, I let her have my honesty not my anger; I told her that in the past I would have hurt her straight back, I wasn’t going to do this anymore. I also told her that I would have got angry and abusive, I told her I’m not going to do that anymore either. I also told her I wasn’t going to make any judgements about her behaviour. I then told her that to keep my love for her and stop myself being abusive I was withdrawing for the night. Which I then did. I slept on the couch – ouch !!!!!!<P>Now, I’m thinking, I’ve just blown weeks of damned hard work. I really thought I might as well pack my bags because it’s all over. Then Sunday morning, she goes for her run. I prepared breakfast. I then go for my run and after a quick shower, we breakfast together. She then says ‘I’m sorry I hurt you’. So I said ‘there’s two people in this marriage, I’m one of them. I don’t want to be disrespectful or hurt you or make any judgements but you’re being a complete jerk. You need to put something into this marriage too or let’s do something else with our lives’. She said ‘I like how you’ve been with me and I don’t want it to stop’.<P>We then had a really good discussion – even talked about the OM – and ended up hugging and kissing each other. Brilliant. <P>This site (and the books) have been such a great help. Thank you to everybody for sharing your experiences. It’s been a painful experience but I’ve learnt so much.<P>I’m not stopping though – this needs to become a way of life, not just a Plan A or a Plan B. It feels great.<P><BR>
