Hello everyone!<P>I'm new here. I posted my story under prayers:<BR> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum19/HTML/000887.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum19/HTML/000887.html</A> <P>What I need to know is how do I do Plan A? I've read the explanation from Dr. Harley, but it's still not completely clear. My husband isn't having an affair. He had several one night stands, but is currently considering coming back. What can I do to encourage this process? I've made several changes already, as you will read under "Prayers", but he still has resentment toward me for waiting so long. I know it's I who should resent him, but I don't. I'm a very forgiving person, and I've been through this before, so all has already been forgiven. I just want to save my marriage.<P>Any help anyone can offer would be greatly appreciated.<P>Thanks,<BR>TrustinginGod<P>

To read more about Plan A, go the Just Found Out board and read the post "Notable Posts/Threads." Within that is a bunch of stuff about Plan A/B.<P>If your husband is really not having a current affair, don't discount the probability that he'll have additional one night stands.<P>Plan A is for you to critically examine yourself to discover what you need to improve - how to make more deposits in his love bank and how to avoid unnecessary withdrawals. Plan A is about changing YOU, not about changing him. Hopefully, changes in him will come as a result of changes in you.<P>So, identify how you've made unnecessary withdrawals, or have lovebusted in the past. These can be disrespectful judgements, angry outbursts, etc. Also, identify what emotional needs of his you may not have been fulfilling. For help with this, get a copy of "His Needs/Her Needs" and work on the Emotional Needs questionaire.<P>Other than that, please ask some specific questions.<P>WAT

WAT,<P>Thanks for the response. I know I am taking a chance that he'll continue to have ONS, but I am willing to risk it. I appreciate the information.<P>He has told me that he hasn't been with anyone since we've been separated (including me). However, I do find that hard to believe. Sex is his strongest EN, hence our problems.<P>I will read the information you referred to. I think I've been on the right track, because he has definitely improved over the last couple of months. The time just drags, though, and can be very discouraging.<P>Thanks again!<BR>TIG