Yesterday, I got an email from OW's H. He was forwarding an email that I sent him (the ONLY unsolicited email that I have sent him...all the others were replies).<P>Here is the body of his letter:<BR><I><wife>:<P>this is the email which was sent at midnight or just thereafter last night.<BR>Another unsolicited piece. I did not respond.<P>So it appears that there is a liar on the other end as well. I did not send<BR>three emails. Just one, twice.<P>the body of mine:<BR>on 7/23/01 12:49 AM, MMooreBrad@aol.com at MMooreBrad@aol.com wrote:<P>> To: <OW's H><BR>> Subject: Vegas trip<BR>> <BR>> BTW...we made reservations on July 18...I talked about trip in my posts...<BR>> Could she still be monitoring my posts at MB and planned this trip ON HER<BR>> OWN? I can't see how her being there the same time as us would get them<BR>> anywhere...I would think that she would hate it...knowing we were together...<BR>> <BR>> Also...room w/ one bed was reserved....<BR>> <BR>> I posted to you at MB...I hope you will go there for support...My friends<BR>> there can really help you through this...really...<BR>> <BR>> I am so much stronger than in April...<BR>> <BR>> <OW's H>, you deserve to be happy...you deserve joy in your life...TAKE<BR>> CONTROL...not of her or it, but of YOU! Let go of your fear and anxiety....<BR>> <BR>> As your wife told me...my H is not your problem...(She actually said SHE was<BR>> not my problem...my marriage was.) She was partly right...SHE is not my<BR>> problem...even my H is not my problem...MY ABILITY TO be impeccable in my<BR>> word, to not take things personally, to not make assumptions and to do my<BR>> BEST always...that is my problem...THAT AND LIVING IN THE WORD OF GOD.<BR>> <BR>> Faith and Obedience to God's Word...He will see me through.<BR>> <BR>> Sincerely and Prayerfully,<P>Marsha</I><P>Now let me respond to the three emails crack and 'another liar': I went to my old mail box and found one, two, three emails from him (not including this one...) so I forwarded them to his mailbox...The 1st one: one email....The second one: two emails....The third one: three emails. I DO NOT HAVE TO LIE. KEEP ME OUT OF YOUR MARRIAGE.<P>Then, I went upstairs and talked to my H about it...guess who he believed and backed...ME! He even said that out of everyone, I am 'manipulating' the whole drama the best...I wasn't too thrilled about the word manipulating...but he explained that I am being the most effective in taking responsibility, making changes, etc. AND I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS NOT LIED OUTRIGHT. I haven't told him things (lies of omission), but have always confessed soon after...(probably doesn't make much difference, eh?)<P>I guess that's why the last time I contacted the OW's H...sometime in May...and he did the same kind of thing...tried to make it look like I was being evil...I quit. <P>So, if you're still reading my stuff, <I>alittlelost</I>DON'T CONTACT ME AGAIN, until you are ready to grow up, change, take responsibility and QUIT LYING. You do not have to use me to make yourself look better for your W...she's only trying to use it to make me look bad to my H...and guess what...IT'S NOT WORKING!<P>Cali<P>------------------<BR><I>Live Impeccably In Your Word.<BR>Don't Take Anything Personally.<BR>Make No Assumptions.<BR>Do Your Best Always. </I>

{{{{{{{{{Cali}}}}}}}}}}}<P>You know I have always thought of this board as group therapy, it is really unfair that the OW has invaded the group for her own manipulative purposes, and her H is not using it for the designed purpose either (which puzzles me most since this really could help him). <P>It seems you have lost, by trying to share this site with your H, a very important thing- the ability to relax and be open in "group". I am very sad for you, and agry that these people are reacting this way for you. I wish there were rules about this like there would be in actual group therapy- these people would have been told to leave, as they should.<P>You are doing awesome considering, hang in there.<P>NY<P>

NY---<P>the beauty of it...is that what they are trying to do is NOT working...My H believes me...<P>I do not care if OW reads this stuff, her H or my H...<P>I AM FREE.<P>Cali<P>------------------<BR><I>Live Impeccably In Your Word.<BR>Don't Take Anything Personally.<BR>Make No Assumptions.<BR>Do Your Best Always. </I>

HMMM...something to the old *The truth shall set you free* saying huh, Cali? Personally, I hope that one or both of them contacts you a couple of more times, and you send the posts to each of them and show your H. Just maybe her *manipulations* are letting him see the *true* OW, as it were. How she can manipulate, how she can control, most definitely...how she can lie to get her own way! There is something to be said for integrity!! Here is hoping, it will make H realize how important trust in M is, and he will work at trying to get yours back too!<P>*Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the kind of life you dream of.*<P>Trueheart

Cali,<P>I wonder how you hold up at times. This stuff sounds like Greek, how do you figure it out? Am I reading into this stuff, that you and H planned a trip to Vegas, and then OW & OWH decided to make a trip (to Vegas)? Ha - there are other SPOTS - like Monterey, San Francisco, Reno, Santa Barbara, Laughlin, Parker Dam, etc. That is what all this sounds like. Can anybody come up with an original idea?<P>The trip is coming up soon - hope you have a good time. My H and I planned (semi) for a trip beginning of June, we could not figure out a place we really wanted to go. We have points - but they only gave us 1 night the first place I picked. We need to get away - but trying to schedule between our schedules is hard, and someone to watch the kids. <P>Have fun in Vegas. aftershock

Liar, liar, pants on fire!<P>It's pretty clear he's lying to protect his butt from his wife because she suspects he's milking info from you.<P>What a mess. Cali, stay on the moral high ground.<P>WAT