Spouses,<BR>do you save the greeting cards that your spouse gives you for your birthday/anniversary/holidays? If not, why not? (I ask because I'm a saver.)

I do...and I even have copies of ones from the net, and some web pages we have made... <P>OK..I am a big sap!!<P>True

I do, all of them. I still have some from 10 years ago when we were dating.

Greeting cards??!?!?<P>we're supposed to get greeting cards?!?!?<P>wait!!!.......faint memory spasm occurring...<P>it's faint.......real faint......<P>yup..I got one once.......I think it was during his A...<P>it was one of those 'thank you cards' about the domestic goddesses I was....taking care of everything.....all alone that summer....<P>I kept it......it's in about 54 torn, ripped up bits, though<P>of course, after finding out about the A...it was toast....<P><BR>Dylan<P>

Yes I have most of them saved, they were so beautiful and H took so much time to pick them out, they always said the things that he didn't always verbalize, so they were that much more special, one time he didn't have time while in Korea to get a valentines card and when he finally did get to the BX they were out, so he hand wrote one, so thoughtful I carry that one in my wallet.<P>We use to pass Ziggy cards back and forth, he was special to us. Can't find them anymore, and the ones that I have found on line are to mushy for where we are at.<P>I did send him a Anniversary card this year, wasn't meant for that occassion though was just cuz card, but went into to how lucky I was that God had sent him into my life and looked backwards as to forward like most anniversary cards, wanted him to know how much the 20 years had meant.<P>Oh well, I have asked if he didn't mean those things in the cards. Says no he meant them but has so much more with OW. I thought about throwing them all out when I was going throw stuff to move, but didn't.<P>D

YES! I do save greeting cards that my H gives me. BUT, I tore up and threw away any greeting cards (Valentine's Day Card & Anniversary Card) that he gave me, while he was having an affair. I felt that the words in those cards were a farce and I couldn't believe anything those cards said, if he were involved with someone else.

I have every card he's ever given me. Strangely, so does he. It tells me that he is sentimental to a degree. I just pray that he's gotten rid of all the cutsie, lovey dovey cards that OW has given him. I found a couple in his glove box. I promptly destroyed them! I explained to him that if he came home saving that stuff, some day years from now I might find them, and it would really set me back. Hopefully, he took what I said to heart.<P>I made the mistake one night of reading through all the anniversary cards. On last year's he had written "Kari, you are my soul mate. No one will ever take your place. I will love you until the end of time..." Boy did THAT one make me bawl!!!

Well here's a twist on that one.<P>My H saves everything he has ever found that has to do with OM. Such as e-mails, and stuff from online.<P>And then he re-reads them and keeps them fresh in his mind. Not to mention that I feel like he's just collecting evidence against me.<P>Any suggestions on if I should ask him to let me destroy this file? Should I just accept it quietly as I have been doing? <P>

I saved all his cards. I think, they got damaged in a flood we had in our basement once when we lived in another state. Since then I have not been able to find them. We threw out so much stuff, an old antique dresser damaged beyond repair, records, etc. Wish I still had them, I enjoyed going through them once in a while. Would of loved to make a collage out of them.

Wow, I would definitely ask him how he plans on recovery and moving ahead as long as he's keeping that stuff. For me, I want nothing to do with anything OW gave him.

I saved everything. Cards, letters, pictures, even the tickets to the first Broadway show we saw togehter. I even saved the BUS ticket that we took to go to the Broadway show!<P>I have a little box I keep everything in.

Yup, got em all. Not that there are too many, but there is one love letter he wrote after our 'first fight' (about him forgetting my birthday... we had been together for 4 months at that point). I found it when going through some things to make room for the rest of his stuff to come home. And glad I did. <P>We've also got all of the cards and notes I gave him (which reminds me, it's been a long time... gotta do something about that...hehehe). When I was packing up his stuff, I made sure that they were where he would see them.. along with any cards from 'the kids'.<P>I have only seen one card he got from OW#1, and he gave it to me to throw out the day we moved the final stuff of his home. I posted about that. He didn't even open it, he knew who it was from. He just handed it over to me, I opened it, read it, and ripped the crap out of it, then tossed it in the garbage! That felt really good too.<P>Karen<BR>

Why yes, I saved all the greeting cards my H gave me. They went nicely in my evidence book.<P>He's overuled and objectionable,<BR>Nell

Yes, every letter he's written me, and every card; and every letter, and every card I've given him.<P>We are trying to find a weekend to go away - very expensive proposition. Don't feel confident to leave the dogs in the care of anyone - so we'll have to put them in a kennel (it is very expensive in California). It use to be $7/day where we use to live - now I'm up to $23/day.<P>Anyway, if we were to go away for a weekend (or 3 days if we can - I'm almost thinking we need 4 to 5 days, and not just 2 or 3), I'd take all the letters and cards with us, so that we could start reliving our beginnings. I knew him for three weeks, then he was gone for 3 months. I supported him greatly while he was gone.<P>I have every birthday card, Christmas card, any card.<P>The sad thing many years ago, I told him not to get me roses, or card for Valentine's Day , which is our wedding anniversary. That started a trend, I just wanted to save money to pay off bills, but started me not getting anything for our anniversary. Keep your big mouth shut. Now I wish I had the romance.<P>He bought about 12 cards last November, they are still sitting in his office, waiting for the time to give them to me. I thought he might have bought them for (you know who). But, it was really bugging me, so I asked to see them - yep, they're for me. I still have yet to receive one card from him since this all started. Guess we could say since Feb 2000- 17 months ago.<P>This isn't about the OP, this is about us. aftershock

It sure is about the 2 of you!!<P>I think Vegas could be a great place to do the same thing...thanks for a great idea!!!!<P>*As Otter said at the end of Animal House in all the mass confusion.."Boy, is this great!!!!" <P>Trueheart

Okay, it seems that all of the replies are savers. So...what do you think it means when you find cards you gave to your spouse in the trash? (val. day and anniv. of last year)

I have all cards that my husband ever gave me. As I was reading the other posts, I realized that the cards I received over the last few years said the most...and those were during WS's affair. I don't understand that. I don't know if he really means anything he says. I may tear them up. Sorry I am negative tonight.<P>

Louisa--Probably out of guilt, when looking back thru them the guilt got them and figured if they trashed them the guilt would be gone too. You think it worked?<BR>

I tend to agree with Dawn...that Fog thickens. They are probably in *reaction* to something that happened. I kept everything, except for the few times when they were trashed on the day of a fight, but then retrieved later. <P>Trueheart

OK....y'all can laugh at me....but I'm a saver.<P>My H and I were High School Sweethearts......I still have every letter that he ever wrote me and every letter I wrote him in a locked box that he baught for me to keep them in.<P>I keep all cards.<P>Actually...when H was here the other night I was looking for recent pictures of our daughters so he could have one to take with him. I was looking through a photo envelope and pulled out a card that he had given me....a thinking of you card......I looked at it....looked at him....looked back at the card....threw it behind me and said......guess you never meant that huh?<P>I saved it though.....picked it back up later and put it where I found it.