Ok, me again. Maybe for the final time. Getting too tired of this. Just a post then I have to go. <P>MB is good and all, wish all well for being here. <P>Bottom line is that H is still in contact with OW. Broke all the promises he made. He needs to walk himself out the door. I am too tired to go on with this game. <P>Will meet with him tonight. No more marriage building, reconciliation or saving. Looking out for myself and son now. Only way to go. Need to close the bank account. <P>You all were great supporters. Sometimes you just gotta know when to quit. I am there now. <P>Don't really want to post anymore. I may read a few to check up on those I have come to care about. All you newbies, take a lesson when the older ones talk, they know their stuff. Don't be too stubborn like me. Thought I was tough to last forever. Nothing lasts forever. <P>These Ws's really know how to push one to the limit. Hope they can enjoy their new lives. They sure treated their former family members like trash. I refuse to be refuse. Classy junk/collectable/antique maybe but not trash. <P>Plan A and B are good plans, but it does take 2 to tango. Can be married with only 1 putting in most of the work. <P>Take care and best wishes on all your future endeavors. <P>Aloha,<BR>L.<BR>

OK, L. Get it out and spill your guts. You know the score. We won't let you do this. We're here when you're ready to talk.<P>Dave

Hugggggggggggz O!!!<BR>Nothing long or in depth here, just support and comfort!<P>I know how you have agonized over this decision, hon!! I know the sleepless hours you have spent, the energy, and all the emotions that have gone into this. And, you are right, like a sponge, we each have our own saturation levels of how much we can take!!<P>Know that we are here though and we care!!<P>If you need me...trueheart42@hotmail.com<BR>Don't ever hesitate to use it!!<P>I hate the fact of you out there without some lifelines!! Starting over can be as lonely as any of this has been!! I wish you health and happiness, which I know will take awhile, but you deserve so much!!<P>*Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.*<P>Trueheart

((((((( Orchid ))))))))<P>You're in shock. I can tell by the way you've written your post. <P>Do you need to talk? I know I'm way up in Canada, but if you want to, email me your phone number and I'll call you, k? Sometimes talking is easier than typing it all out. <P>4topie25@home.com<P>Karen<P><BR>

Orchid,<P>My heart goes out to you and my prayers, I've always looked forward to your words of wisdom, they will be missed if you are not here.<P>The support is here when and if you need it, take care of you and your son.<P>Dawn

Leanne!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<P>You need to vent .. VENT HERE, dammit!<P>C'mon honey, we are here for you. Please post back to us. <P>I'm calling you ...<P>Jo

Orchid......honey, don't let him destroy you like this. You have been soooooo strong and determined to make this work. The worse is over....isn't it? Would a good swift kick in his pants help? Know that you have friends here who really care about you, always!!!!!!<P>------------------<BR><B>Time heals all wounds as long as you DON'T pick at them!</B><p>[This message has been edited by GeezLouise (edited July 26, 2001).]

Okay work with me on this..<P>Oddly shaped, oddly green a bottle bobs in the surf.. You watch it for a while and it finally comes to you, corked with a note in it. Standing in the soft wet sand you open the bottle, and take out the note. As the wind blows over the top of the bottle it whistles gently.<P><I>Orchid..<P>Nâu wale nô, Mahalo.<P>We, your beloved friends, want you to take a moment and relax.. Your on a white sand beach, which is dressed in beautiful cocoa nut trees. There are no keiki's around, no phones and no hali's. Mango's litter the blonde sand around the vine covered table that we have prepared for you. A large pig sits in the center of the table for this Mongolian BBQ. There is this light breeze blowing in from the windward side of the island. The sand isn't to hot and you've got your lounger there under the umbrella. Snorkel gear is in its bag, next to the cooler. Go ahead and open the cooler and take out a Pineapple Daiquiri.. sip on it for a while and enjoy yourself.. If you want any of the BBQ.. go ahead its for you. The snorkel gear.. well if you want to go for dive.. go ahead.. There's a camera there for you to bring back some memories also. Have fun.. when your ready to talk.. just jot down your problems, put your thoughts on that piece of paper and throw that bottle back into the drink..</I><P>We're here and waiting. Now.. toss us the damn bottle.. <BR><P>------------------<BR>Husband2You<BR>*****<BR>Don't make me promises <BR>Baby you never did know how to keep them well <BR>I've had the rest of you <BR>Now I want the best of you <BR>It's time for show and tell<P>'All or Nothing' © 2001 O-Town

Orchid,<P>Go back to Plan B! We had this discussion a few months ago over on the recovery board. I am so sorry that you are having to go through this but if you stick to Plan B and make sure he's changing his behavior BEFORE you let him back into the house things may turn out different.<P>It was too easy for him to come home. He didn't have to do anything different or prove anything to you and that is not recovery. He didn't see the need to change, he didn't have a consequence.<P>YOU CAN DO THIS!!! You offer so much to people here and we know from your posts that you have the guts and strength to carry this out. You just made a mistake in letting H come back too soon and without a plan to repair the damage. That is soooooo easy to do. We all want our WS and our LIFE back and want to believe things will be different the minute WS wants to come back. WS's actions have to match their words for recovery to begin.We have to protect ourselves when they have been unwilling to protect us. Take a deep breath, get your bearings and start over in Plan B. It will give you comfort to let go of the pain and take care of yourself until H can make up his mind one way or the other. You've worked too hard and learned too much to give up now.<P>Hope you can feel all of the hugs here! {{{{{Orchid}}}}}<BR>Keep going!

Orchid,<P>Don't just run away from us here. You've given too much of yourself to others, and you know what a roller coaster this can be.<P>We all go through phases where we think that it might be time to turn the volume down on MB, stop seeking reconciliation, bla bla bla. But the bottom line is, people here care about you, we can all help each other, and you are an important part of MB.<P>I hope that you are back tomorrow. Otherwise, we're going to have to come and get you and bring you to the DC Scandals get together.<P>Talk to us.

Orchid----<P>You listen to mother, girl!<P>I just told HurtbyHubby the same thing...don't let him back and let him make all the conditions.<P>Don't give them control over you! We are all here for you...<P>Please don't leave us...even starting fresh you will need support...there are so many here to help you through it....<P>[[[[[[[[[[[[[[orchid]]]]]]]]]]]]]<P>Cali<P>------------------<BR><I>Live Impeccably In Your Word.<BR>Don't Take Anything Personally.<BR>Make No Assumptions.<BR>Do Your Best Always. </I>

Orchid,<P>I don't have much to say, but I am thinking of you. Take some time to just stop thinking about this mess and do something nice for yourself.<P>Please come back later to talk after you feel better.<P>Steve

Orchid,<P>I really cannot add anything to what the others have said here. Just know that I hope you do come back as no matter what happens you know we will be here to support you.<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}<P>Z<P>------------------<BR>He loves not who does not show love.<BR>----William Shakespeare

Orchid,<P>You have been such a help to me these past few months. I reached the same decision today. My H is acting so bizaare--and when he includes the kids, that is enough. I have to move on. Boy, will it be hard...maybe we can correspond in this phase...perhaps start a new site... !!

Orchid,<P>Take some time off and don't think about any of it for awhile. Then take a look at it again when you're fresh. I hope the best for you and your son, I have only been hear a short while and I have gotten to know you and others just from reading your post. I will truely miss you, I hope you will come back and let us know how you are.<P>I'll be thinking of you and I'll pray for you.<P>silwl

PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!You have been there to answer my posts like no one else has! My husband, I refuse to abbreviate him to just H now, are in recovery, He is home and sorry, working hard on our marriage. I know something has happened to make you feel this way, Please let us HELP! I know there are so many issuses to deal with, it is so damn hard, but you can make it, DAMN IT. DON'T YOU DARE GIVE UP! TO MUCH IS AT STAKE! YOUR HEART, YOUR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Orchid,<P>go back to plan b. thinking of you. will try & email sat or sun. the boys leave for a wk sat.

Up to the top. Orchid, we are here for you. I am so sorry your H is putting you through this.

Dear MB friends, <P>Sorry for the scare. It was not meant to be taken that way. I am upset and angry at H. I now know why. <P>For myself, I need the OW out of my life. Even if this means H leaving. H is packing his things today and heading out the door. He is making it quite clear that his family rates below this OW person, even though he claims to the contrary. Her name is changing from Psyco Babble to Psyco Babble B_ _ _ h. She now has 3 names. I have not called her that to her face but since H has heard me call her that several times, I think we should introduce her to the rest of the world by her new given name. Baptized in the fog. <P>H told son. Son said little except that he was sad that his dad was leaving. This little one will share more later. <P>Since I was contemplating breaking some valid MB concepts and rules here, I felt it necessary to withdraw from this site until I can learn to feel and think along better lines. I don't want to give advice that is not healthy. I have told my H that I will not be posting here. <P>Thank you very much for all your care and concern. Right now my feelings are very jumbled in light of current events. <P>H2U, I must tell you that I cried when I read your post last night. You all touched my heart. You are all real special persons. Too bad most of us are attached to those who don't or won't appreciate our love. <P>Mthrrhbard you are so right, I will try to go to plan B and save my soul. I expect to be divorced soon. I do know I need to keep moving forward. Kind of like being in a blizzard, need to find shelter, I feel so cold and alone out here.<P>Trueheart, H read your letter this morning. I do not think he can be saved even with your great words. This letter though is good and powerful. I am just not one of the fortunate few who has a husband that wants his family enough. Thank you for all your effort, it was not wasted by any means. Please give my regards to your wife who must be a patient woman to allow all of us to take up your time. <P>So until I can come back with a better attitude. Please take care. I will be reading your posts and praying for all of you. You have all helped me tremedously. <P>Mahalo,<BR>L.

System duplicate posted.<BR><p>[This message has been edited by Orchid (edited July 27, 2001).]