Well....things just keep going from bad to worse here.<P>Yesterday my WH was supposed to come see the girls....he did show up.....but ended up bringing boxes with him to pack up his stuff. <BR>First of all......when he walked in the door I noticed that he had 2 hickies.....one on each side of his neck. Talk about a slap in the face. This from a man that swears he isn't dating or seeing anyone. I didn't get mad....just told him I thought it was very disrespectful of me and his children for him to be running around with something like that from another woman on him. He didn't have much to say.<BR>He was walking out the door with some of his stuff and I politely asked him if I could have a certain thing that I had baught for him and he said no....very nastily I might add. He then changed his mind and left it on the counter for me....then left the room. When he came back in he said.....since you wanted that....I get the necklace your wearing...I baught it for you. I said no....I'm not turning this into a pissing contest....take what I asked for with you. He then got nice again.....and I found out after he left that he had left what I had asked for. CONFUSING!!!<BR>He went from being nice to being angry back and forth the whole time he was here. <P>I got to a point where I finally told him that from now on we would go through someone else to communicate...and when he wanted the see the girls we would go through someone else also. I told him I was taking myself out of his life....that is what he wants. He got angry again....for what reason I do not know.<BR>I said....why are you so angry about it? Isn't that what you want....me out of your life? He didn't say anything except.....how are we going to discuss the divorce then?<BR>I said.....I've seen your list. I'm not ready to make one yet....or ready to dicuss anything about divorce....I'll talk about it when I'm ready.<BR>He said.....when do you think you will be ready?<BR>I said.....well....let's see. I've been left with everything.....I don't have as much time to think about it as you do. I have 3 daughters to raise....Dr visits to take them to.....games to play....places to run...I'm still paying all the bills....and I have this house to keep clean...lawn to mow and all that. Things that you don't have to worry about anymore.<BR>He didn't say anything.<P>All in all....it did not go well. He comes to see the girls less and less....and when he does come to see them he does less and less with them. He calls them every night that he doesn't come see them.....is he going to do this for the rest of his life?<BR>I'm tired of going through this....this man has no shame whatsoever.....I'm afraid to touch him for fear of what I might get now. I don't really see anything working out between us unless he does some sort of major turn around and every time we see him he seems to be more angry.....more moody.....just someone we don't want to be around.<BR>Another thing....he actually asked our oldest daughter to help him put stuff in boxes and take them out to the van....she refused. I cannot believe he actually asked her to help him move out!!!!!! <BR>He knows that she still wants him to come home....even if mommy doesn't. That was a thoughtless thing to do.<BR>I'm so over it.<P>

I've been wondering about you, and what the latest was. I'm sorry. (((((( Miss Priss ))))))<P>If you are truly intent on plan B right now, then I'd suggest you write your plan B letter. Although you have told your intentions to your H, by the way he's been, he'll probably 'forget'. Put it in writing. Something he'll have to 'remember'. But wait until you have calmed down some so that it shows the love it is supposed to show.<P>I know, I know. You're not feeling any of that right now, and I don't blame you.<P>This should actually be a relief for you. You don't have to worry about what he's up to or what he's doing. You already know the .answers to that anyways (sigh!).<P>I want to write more... but I have to tend to the kids. I'll be back.. you keep posting. <P>Karen<BR>

I just re-read your post from yesterday with your Plan B ???'s. It sounds to me like you are ready to move to Plan B. I think it will bring you peace of mind, and you will not keep getting hurt. We are here for you. Topie is right - start writing your letter. It needs to be in writing.<P>(((((MissPriss))))) hugs. we are here.<P>------------------<BR>Faith1<P>"Then Jesus answered, 'Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.'"<BR>Matt 15:28

Miss Priss..<P>Well, I know exactly how you feel about the hickies.. I got so GD tired of seeing them.. It would literally make me sick of what the OM was doing to her neck. I mean we are not talking about 16 and 17 year olds. The OM is/was 33 at the time. I love busted once and told her to just tell him to piss on her.. since he was trying to mark his tree. <P>I mean, how disrespectful can he be of her.. If having sex with her wasn't enough, he had to send her home with those on her neck, back, breasts... for me to see. She would have to wear turtlenecks to work.. during the summer. <P>That was a very long time ago.. except for the one on her back last week.. arrrgh! Never mind.<P>The hickies are sooo GD infuriating. Just pisses me off thinking about it.<P>Sorry<P>I don't know what to tell you.. except we are here for you. Talk this out.. write it down.. crumple it up and throw the writing in the trash (as someone suggested to me) and then come back here after you've thought about it again.<P>------------------<BR>Husband2You<BR>*****<BR>Don't make me promises <BR>Baby you never did know how to keep them well <BR>I've had the rest of you <BR>Now I want the best of you <BR>It's time for show and tell<P>'All or Nothing' © 2001 O-Town<p>[This message has been edited by Husband2you (edited July 26, 2001).]

{{{{HUGGGGGGGGGGG}}}}<P>I agree with Topie...put it in writing!! Let him read it over and over, which he probably wont. His waffling emotions came from the guilt hes feeling over being an [censored], but unfortunately, as soon as he gets with OW, she will make him forget all about it. I am sorry you had see the hickies. He is probably wearing them like a badge of honor when not around you.<P>As far as the divorce, when you are clear headed and write the Plan B letter, I would let him know, lovingly, that you have no intention of discussing anything with him. You have his list, and your attorney will be how you communicate about the D, since it will hurt you too much and you wish not to argue about it. I know how much this hurts, MP, but take a deep breath and get ready to move forward now. You are no longer frozen in time, even though right now it is all still very fresh. <P>We are here when you need some support!!<P>Trueheart

You are an incredible strong, and sensitive woman. You do have a good head on your shoulders AND you deserve to have love. I agree with the others. It will be hard, and may even seem worse at the start. But I bet when everyday life with Hickey girl becomes "life", this plan B will drive him crazy...BUT once you get strong stay there for you and those beautiful girls of yours. Miss Priss you deserve to be happy, and you deserve to be loved...(((huggs)))

Give us an update Miss Priss. how are you doing?

<<<B>I love busted once and told her to just tell him to piss on her.. since he was trying to mark his tree.</B>>><P>H2Y, that is soooooo funny! ROFLMAOOO!!!<P>Nell <P>P.S. Sounds like you're headed in the right direction, MP. A lot of folks here seem to care a lot about you.

Well.....first of all...I wanted to thank you all....for caring. My H certainly doesn't seem to.<BR>He called tonight to talk to the girls as usual. He usually talks to me for about a half hour before he talks to the girls and then about another half hour after that.<P>BUT.....tonight I just didn't feel like talking to him. Actually....I don't have a desire to talk to him at all anymore. Not about anything. He's not the type of person anymore that I want to be associated with. Not even the type of person I want my kids to be around.<BR>He kept asking me what was wrong and I said nothing....then said....I'm getting off of here....talk to you later....and practically hung up on him.<BR>I had asked him what time he was coming Saturday to pick us up....we are taking the girls to the County Fair together....to save moeny. He went on again and said....why...your boyfriend going to be there?<BR>I said no....I don't have a boyfriend...and even if I did I wouldn't have to make him go just because your coming over. This isn't your house anymore and you don't want to be with me anymore remember?<BR>After that is when I REALLY didn't want to talk anymore.<P>I'm an almost 29 yr old single mother of 3 now with no job and no job skills. It's going to be a long hard road....but it's one I have to travel down. I'm stonger now without him than I have ever been with him. <P>If he chooses to do a complete turnaround and make a commitment to this family and to me...then that's fine....but he has alot of proving to do.<BR>Otherwise.....I'm ready to move on and eventually find the man that will treat my like I deserve to be treated.<BR>I deserve to be treated with respect....and given complete honesty. I have dedicated my life to being his wife and a mother....and what do I get for being his wife.....I get thrown away. I won't go down crying.....crying doesn't do anything for me anymore. There isn't anything to cry about except for the years I've obviously wasted trying to be the best that I could for him. <BR>I took care of this man for 8 months after he had an accident. Waited on him hand and foot for 8 months....not one work of complaint out of my mouth. I was actually liking being able to care for him. I didn't get one appreciative word from him....never a thank you. I never really expected one though. I was there for him when his best friend died...when his grandmother died....and when his parents had their little tiffs. I was always there to pick up the pieces for him......not anymore. He can pick up the pieces from this one.....he made the mess....he can clean it up.<P>lol......got a little carried away.

I hear you. I feel the same way. I am so ready to move on. You will find someone if that if what you choose. Just knowing that you are strong enough to feel empowered means you are going to be OK. You will make it no matter what you decide. I have faith in you.

MP..<P>I am very proud of you!! I know how scared you must be, but the truth is, yes, you can do it!! As you said, it ain't gonna be easy, but you are a survivor! Your H is the one that is losing. I love the fact that you stand up for who you are and what you believe. Your knees may buckle from time to time, but at some point he will realize what he has lost, and maybe it will turn him around, and maybe not!<P>Be true to you and those wonderful children of yours! Let them see how strong their mother is, let them learn those lessons of self determination and confidence from you. I love that you won't go down crying!! <BR>(OK..do I get the job as head cheerleader here??? I look good with poms!! )<P>You deserve the best and if he wont give it to you, someone more worthy will!! Keep the faith..in yourself!!<P>*Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.*<P>Trueheart