Hi everyone!! Saw this on the GQ post, where realitycheck was back and they started sharing recipes instead of replying, ok, call me quirky, but it is 3 p.m. on a Friday and it's been a LONG week!!<P>EASY to make and DELICIOUS:<BR>Saute in a large pan, a lot of sliced onions. Then put in chopped zucchini and cover as that cooks, Then put in sliced tomatoes ... THEN the best part, velveeta cheese (not slices, but cut pieces from the block you can buy and not too much, just enough that will melt and cover veggies) DELICIOUS! <P>Just thought I would share. Tastes great as a summer-time side dish, serve warm obviously <P>------------------<BR><B>Formerly Struggling27</B><BR>E-mail:struggling27@hotmail.com

Hi Humblefish,<P>Figured you could not really stay away. It's too much fun trying to piss us off isn't it. <P>I agree with Cali, you may act nice to his W on the surface but your actions towards her, having an affair with his wife are evil actions. You speak of her as his mother and provider of money and her home as "a Seady home environment - what a joke!!!!!" What do you really know of her or her home? What do you really know of her relationship with her husband? Only the side he tells you to get you to sleep with him. You do not really even know how he feels. Now don't get on me about that statement. You see he is a liar. You know that, he lies to his wife. What makes you think that he's telling you the truth? He does not need to, you will take "love" anyway you can get it. So he'll give it to you any way he wants to.<P>You asked me a question a couple of weeks ago.. Something like "how can I say what its like to be the OW." How could I possibly know. Let me tell you how. <P>Years ago I was seeing a man who I've loved since I was 13 and he was 15.. We'd been on and off for years but married other people because of life's circumstances. By the time we met again I was divorced from my first husband and he had been separated for the better part of a year from his wife. We dated for a year. We were crazy in love and only waiting for his divorce to be final. The state we lived in required a one-year separation before a divorce to go to final litigation. It was a long process and for some reason the final divorce date kept getting moved out. Well, he forgot to tell me that some time during that year he went back to his wife. So he was lying to both of us, living with her part time and seeing me. When I found out I was very hurt. But I had only one choice. I broke up with him, as I was not going to be with anyone who lied to me like that. At the time was living by the popular believe that it's ok to date once the divorce has been filed. I know better now. I did not feel that I was the OW because they had separated months before he and I started to date again. But there was no way that I was going to be the OW. I learn a very hard lesson from that relationship. Never, ever date a man until their divorce is final. It does not matter how long he and his wife had been separated. one month or 10 years. It's not over until it's over. I too felt that he and I had a very special connection and love. It was deep and had been developed over years of knowing each other. But I did not love him or any other man enough to hurt myself over it. There was no way I was going to hurt another woman in that manner. There was no way I was going to allow some man to use me. His love bank took a very large withdrawal the day I found out that he'd been lying to me. Did it hurt me to not see him anymore? You'd better believe it did. It was terrible, this was not some casual fling. But it was a pain I knew that I had to live through for my own self-respect.<P>So, Humblefish, many of the people here giving you advice have experienced situations similar to yours. They know what they are speaking of. You are not the first person to fall in love with someone with whom the relationship is wrong and you will not be the last. There is nothing particularly special or unique about your situation. It falls into a very recognizable pattern. There are few unique situations, it is the human condition that we are all destined to repeat patterns that thousands and millions of others have done. That is where we can learn from others? from their experiences and mistakes. <P>You say that you will never get married because marriage ruins relationships. This web site has a statistically dense population of bad situations. That is why people are here. Their marriages are in big trouble. But not all marriages are like this. It is not marriage that ruin relationships, it is people who do it. People who take each other for granted. The relationship you have right now with your MM will change. That is a given. Over time you will become used to each other, take each other for granted. He already takes you for granted. You will be there for him and he does not have to give you anything special. Statistically your relationship with him has less the 2% chance of becoming anything more then it is right now and lasting more then two years.<P>I'm not going to encourage you to stay or leave him. You are going to do as you please. That is your choice to love him and continue a relationship with him. It is something you have total control over.<P>So why are you here? What do you want from us? You know that the people on this forum do not condone your relationship and we will only advise you to move on. So why are you here? Are you trying to prove to us that your relationship with him is the REAL thing? Even if it is a REAL love it is evil in that it is hurting someone else. Love should not hurt anyone. You are involved with a self centered man who does not really care for you or his wife. But he is more connected to his wife then to you. You are the play toy. I don't know why you feel a need to be treated like this but it comes from deep inside. You have been advised over and over here to get professional help. I hope you do, sooner then later.<P>Z<BR>

ooppppsssss<p>[This message has been edited by zorweb (edited July 27, 2001).]

ooppss<p>[This message has been edited by zorweb (edited July 27, 2001).]

Ok, I've gone on coping with you under the live and let live and if you don't like it don't read it motto, but now I'm this once going to tell you what I think and it's not very MB, and I don't care right now.<P>I wish you would go away and never post here again, you are not welcome or wanted by me or many others, in fact you are destructive and I think you only post to get to the OP's wife who probably posts here, right? This is a group for folks who want to work on their marriage and your posts, esp of this nature are wanted about as much as we would want someone coming in and posting porn links. Get lost.<P>

OK, my take:<P>HF is HURTING. Yes, she is....she is hurting in the worse way. She is also drinking and posting, you can tell by seeing how the misspellings keep getting worse and worse with each subsequent post.<P>People; Cali, Zor, BIN, Kam, H2u, Faith, WHY DO YOU BOTHER posting back???? She isn't on here for help. She apparently doesn't have anyother life!! She's on here after her OM has come (in more ways that one!!) and gone, and she's ALONE again, and doesn't know WHAT hurts the worst. This is a pathetic person.<P>SHe doesn't want help. She wants to be loved. UNFORTUNATELY, the LOSER she wants to love her is incapable of loving her! She can't figure this out. This is a pathology of another sort. I wish she would get help. I wish she would get better. But she's not ready for that.<P>Most of all, I WISH SHE WOULD LEAVE US ALONE. But, she doens't, and she probably can't becuase WE and OM are ALL she's got. How pathetic. How sad. Please don't get mad at her.If you want to get "even" with her, JUST QUIT POSTING TO HER!! It's obvious that the thing she fears most is being ALONE. That's why she keeps giving OM what he wants whenever he asks for it. What a miserable existence.<P>Just my take on her problems.<BR>Lupo

Lupo,<P>I believe that you are right.<P>I also believe that the reason many people, myself included, post to HF is that we know she is hurting and know that she can end that hurt. But she does not. So I guess we keep trying to reach her by using different approaches. Sometimes angry, sometimes compationate. It's hard to see anyone hurting, no matter the reason. I know that what ever it is that she needs is far beyond my humble experience.<P>So you are probably right that not posting is the rigth approach.. but I just keep hoping that she will hear. Hoping that she will quit hurting herself.<P>Z<P>------------------<BR>He loves not who does not show love.<BR>----William Shakespeare

check out gloryb.com website for the other woman<BR>Humblefish is REM<BR>She is getting a kick out of pissing all of you off<BR>

HF:<P>SSDD. No change in the prevailing weather pattern: fog, fog and more fog.<P>Instead of posting here, go read the material on this site. Go research affairs. See how long your relationship will last (a) if you maintain the status quo; or (b) he gets a divorce.<P>Any time you want to bet the 2% versus the 98%, let me know: I want a piece of the other side of that bet.<P>It has been repeated over and over: go get professional help.<P>The posts here reiterate what has been said countless times before. Yet you still seek your pathetic self-justification. You are not unique in this circumstance. The people are unique (you and the MM), but the pattern repeats itself as it has in countless posts here.<P>You might consider changing your user name ... at least the first half of it. Look up the definition of humble. Perhaps you can take a clue from Bill Engvall (comedian of the "here's your sign" fame) .. Dorkfish (don't think he copyrighted the name).<P>Godspeed,<BR>STL