Tonight my H came to take the kids out and as usual he didn't know what time he was bringing them back and he wanted to keep them over night and I said No Way! He is staying in a 1 room efff. and shares a bathroom with someone. I have allowed them to stay once before but I am not comfortable with it because there are a bunch of undesirable peopleliving there. My H truly does not fit in there but it's all he can afford right now. When he brought the kids back I wasn't here, I just ran out with a girlfriend to get a bite to eat and he called me immediately wanting to know where Iwas. I told him I'd be homein a little while, which was 20 min. When I came in he gave the kids a kiss goodbye I ask if we could talk for a minute so we went outside. I told him that I could no longer play this game, of course I got the "I'm not playing any games speech" and I said okay whatever, I am here if you want me to be your wife and work on our proplems but I cannot be your friend right now. He said remember that 2 days from now when you're calling me saying you miss me. I need to be strong and stick to this. I will continue to pray for strength and courage!!

I'm glad you are standing up for yourself! And yes, keep praying!<P>Remind us... are you in Plan B now? Or just a "tough love" Plan A?<P>------------------<BR>Faith1<P>"Then Jesus answered, 'Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.'"<BR>Matt 15:28

I'm interested to answer to faith's Q too- sorry I haven't been on alot lately. It's hard to make sense of people afflicted w/Moose brain worm disease. But do try to be consistent, he has a point, you don't want to look wishy washy that is not a desirable thing.

Not knowing the answer to Faiths question, all I can say is that I admire the way you handled that scenario. Your H is expecting you to fold, miss him, and let him come home with no questions asked, and no commitments made. <P>Stay strong for you and your kids, and him too!!<P>*Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.*<P>Trueheart

cybil, cybil, cybil - help us help you. Please update us on what you accomplished in your Plan A. What you did was an admirable, audible Plan B - it needs to be followed up with a Plan B letter to be complete. You've crossed the A/B line. Maybe prematurely, but you shouldn't go back.<P>WAT

To answer everyone's question I think I have moved on to Plan B. I am very scared because I have not been consistent in the past. I have tried my best to Plan A and all I've been is a doormat for him. I've made it to easy for him in the past. He's been able to come to the house usually daily, eat here, see his children whenever go out as a family if he felt like it and even sleep with his wife. I've made it easy for him not to come home I've given him the best of both worlds and allowed him to continue this behavior. I'm hopeful that by doing a good Plan B it will really make him think about what he is about to lose. I love him even though he has been a real B****** to me lately, cold and heartless. Then again when I try to be strong he turns on the charm and tells me things like who knows maybe we can work it out but statements like that are just used to break me down because he never makes the effort.I'm not sure how to compose my Plan B letter I don't want it to be long I just want it to be short, sweet and to the point. Any suggestions?

If you want it to be short and simple, then follow the one in the SAA book as closely as possible.<P><BR>Z<P>------------------<BR>He loves not who does not show love.<BR>----William Shakespeare

First of all cybil....GOOD FOR YOU!!!<P>Second.....don't cave in. Make this a new you and stick to it.<BR>If it helps....remember all the stupid but hurtful things your H has been saying to you. That is what keeps me to sticking to what I'm doing.<BR>I look at Plan B kinda like tough love.<BR>Don't let him turn the charm onto you.....you know what it is. He just wants to leave that door open.<BR>Don't make it easy on him.....has he been making it easy on you.<P>What goes around comes around.