i have got to be the most untrusting person on earth,my husband better not do anything out of the ordinary,i start to freak out and we have been married 21 years,he was 17 and i was 16,i am the one that had the affair and he dealt with it pretty good, but then during the healing all i could hear from him was that he wanted us to stay together,and then i went to work for the same construction company as him and he has this female coworker that he is with everyday and believe me i heard plenty about her from him,but then i seen them together first hand and it made me sick to see it,i had no idea that it was that bad,he would ignore me for her and she was forced down my throat,and it went on and on even against my wishes,i finally quit my job before i hurt her,because she knew what she was doing,but it is such a long story that its hard to tell it all at once,it would make a book,anyway it has been 2 years and i still dont trust him and i cant let this go and they still have to work together,they drive dump trucks,does anybody identify at all, i hope im not alone in feeling crazy.

hurtalongtime,<P>You aren't alone as evidenced by all the posts on this forum. I know when I discovered my H's affair, I went as though the entire world was reeling and I was holding on for dear life.<P>Read, hurt, read ALL parts of this forum. Read the suggested books and post. Weekends are slow and you may not get alot of responses but continue. You will find many in similar situations to yours and know you are not alone. <P>Are you and your H in counseling? Can you sit down with him and explain your fears? <P>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Nerlycrzy:<BR><B>hurtalongtime,<P>You aren't alone as evidenced by all the posts on this forum. I know when I discovered my H's affair, I went as though the entire world was reeling and I was holding on for dear life.<P>Read, hurt, read ALL parts of this forum. Read the suggested books and post. Weekends are slow and you may not get alot of responses but continue. You will find many in similar situations to yours and know you are not alone. <P>Are you and your H in counseling? Can you sit down with him and explain your fears? <P></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><BR>I have felt alone forever, I have never met anyone as paranoid as me, and my husband talks whenever I need to, but it never seems to help,as far as couseling,I have been in counseling for so long and nobody has helped me, and believe me I have had plenty of different people, it is not possible for my husband to understand me,and so far nobody understands me, I almost feel crazy talking about it sometimes, but it never goes away,and I mean never, everyday is such a struggle for me to make it through,I don`t even know where to start with myself,I have so many issues, you would`nt believe,I can`t stand the thought of another woman being in the sight of my husband,if I had my way I would erase every memory of every woman he has ever known except for me,but it is all the things through our marriage that has made me feel this way about any female,I don`t want him watching any TV hardly,because it`s all trash,and any woman he talked about looking good in the past, he better not watch anything with them in it, we are so different,it causes conflict between us,because we never agree on anything,I stay so depressed that I don`t even want to get out of bed,and i`m never happy,I just don`t know what to do I have waited for this to pass but, it never does,and I keep being miserable and wishing I was`nt even alive to have to go through this another day,but I really love my husband and kids and that`s what keeps me going. No my husband and I are not in counseling, and i`m not either,i have given up on that. Thanks for your input. <BR>