I hope that you don't mind me asking you a couple of questions.<P>My W told me the other day was that she felt like she was getting 15% of my love in the past and now she is getting 200% and she doesn't trust it. She also said that I never wanted to go to her parents in the past and why would I want to go now? She said that the little things I controlled like this built over time and she finally bursted.<P>3. What does that mean? <P>My wife has started to talk to me again and the conversations seem to be good. She even uses that little voice she used to use when she said bye at the end of phone calls. But, I can still say I miss you and she says "Thanks" nothing else. I still tell her I love her at the end of a call and she just acts like she didn't hear it but she may say "be careful" and "bye" in her little vioce.<P>What does this mean?<P>Thanks, GC

gdc:<P>It means that your Plan A is slowly having an effect. Only time will tell the final outcome of the Plan. But you appear to be off to a good start. Stay the course.<P>Bone up on all her top emotional needs and move to fulfill them. If she questions you about that "200%" commitment, just be honest: "I was blind to a lot of things previously and I am working hard to overcome my past faults." Note the use of the "I" approach vs. the "you" approach. Putting it in that manner makes it seem less threatening (but it is effective, believe me!), the finger is pointing inward and not outward. She gets the point without being threatened. Bingo! No love busting, lots of EN met and positive reinforcement of the four rules (honesty, time, protection and care) at work.<P>Godspeed,<BR>STL

Thanks STL,<BR>So these to be taken as encouraging signs? I have such good days then such bad. It even gets to the point like last night I went out with a friend (male) for dinner and after dropping him off I started to think about how much I miss her and why was this happening to me. I was so discouraged then when I got home, I had a message from her<BR>asking a simply question and telling me she was getting ready to leave for the rehersal party for a wedding we were supposed to go to and I felt encouraged again. I hate these feelings, it's like I'm hanging on her every phone call and email waiting for some hope or sign that she wants to work things out. Is this all normal?

gdc:<P>Alas, it is a rollercoaster ride. Do not try to peer into the "fog" of a WS ... fog, as it is known, bends the light of logic.<P>Keep up applying the MB principles and see what happens. Patience, in this sort of thing, is a virtue. You are in a marathon, not a sprint, so keep the finish line in mind while charting your course.<P>Godspeed,<BR>STL

gdc, I'd say those feelings are "normal", because I feel them, but I'm not sure I'm so "normal" <P>I kick myself all the time because I DON'T WANT >>stomping my foot like a child <<< to be controlled by his every action or word - or lack of. I get a little good morning reply on my phone (text msg) and I'm great for hours!!! Then a couple of days go by (usually on weekends - here we are ) when I don't hear a WORD, and I lose all hope! I think, "How can he just not be thinking of me at all?" <P>So, we're both on this roller coaster - I guess it will get a little easier. Plan A Plan A Plan A. Enjoy every morsel of "good signs" from the WS. And stay confident that our Plan will work. The other thing that helps me is to remind myself that Plan A is mainly about working on me, so I try to get focused on doing something for ME whenever I start missing my H.<P>Hang in there. <P>------------------<BR>Faith1<P>"Then Jesus answered, 'Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.'"<BR>Matt 15:28<p>[This message has been edited by Faith1 (edited July 28, 2001).]