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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 352
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OP
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 352 |
I have read that recovery takes a long time. In my case it has been six months and yesterday had a heated LB discussion. I am wondering for how many months did the BS bug the WS about what they did? How often did triggers come up because of conversation with the WS or things they complain about which led you to bring up the affair? I know we the BS should stop doing tjis as soon as possible, as soon as we have the answers. I am trying.
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 4,297
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 4,297 |
Roger, <P>You will need to tell your wife how upset you are until you feel at peace.<P>You will need to ask her questions until you feel you have all the answers. <P>It is the price your wife has to pay for having an affair. <P>Quite honestly I believe that the reason you have not been able to move on is because your wife has not nothing (from what you have said in the past) to affair proof your marriage and take responsibility for the harm she has caused. <P>I can tell you that if my H were to tell me the things that your wife still tells you I would not trust him for one moment. I do not see how you can move on and heal as long as she is telling you that she may have to have sleep with men to get business. <P>Z<P>------------------<BR>He loves not who does not show love.<BR>----William Shakespeare
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 31
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 31 |
i think its different in different cases....... H (ws) and i were doing really well til the XOW attempted contact again.........<BR>put us back a few notches<BR>triggers are everywhere you just need to to learn how to deal with them that in itself takes time
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 8,016
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 8,016 |
<B>yesterday had a heated LB discussion.<P>I am wondering for how many months did the BS bug the WS about what they did?<P>or things they complain about which led you to bring up the affair?</B><P>Seems like everything you are saying to her is LB all the time.<P>STOP! Read through Plan A again. Read <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6030_love.html" TARGET=_blank>Love Busters:<BR>Overcoming The Habits That Destroy Romantic Love</A><P>If you want a good marriage, then you must ensure you do not do things, especially when you KNOW it will do so, which cause you spouse emotional pain<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>
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