Since I use this place as my journal and place to vent, I feel I need to get all my fears of my chest. Get them written down if you will and then hopefully learn to let them go.<P>I fear that my husband's affair is still going on. <BR>I fear that he really does love her more than he loves me. <BR>I fear that she really is the one for him and that I don't mean anything to him. <BR>I fear that his actions will have a lasting impact on my children and they may never truly recover.<BR>I fear my actions will do the same.<BR>I fear divorce.<BR>I fear being alone.<BR>I fear losing my best friend and the only person I could ever really talk to about anything/everything.<BR>I fear my H really does have bipolar and he will refuse help.<BR>I fear my H doesn't have bipolar and he is just a truly horrible person with no morals who emotionally abuses me.<BR>I fear dating again and having to try and trust another man again.<BR>I fear that I may have an STD or AID's.<BR>I fear OW will come back in my life and destroy everything again.<BR>I fear I will lose all love for my H and only then will he seriously fix himself and want to work it out. Too late.<BR>I fear my H will live vicariously while I am in plan B, having sex with whoever/whenever with no regard for me.<BR>I fear I will have to quit my job.<BR>I fear I may move to Ireland (job transfer) and later regret it.<BR>I fear the visions of H and OW that pop into my head. <BR>I fear I will break plan B too soon again.<BR>I fear my H will stop going to counseling.<BR>I fear my H will lie to me again and I won't know.<BR>I fear I am doomed to repeat this over and over again.<BR>I fear my H and I can never recover from this.<P>Feel free to add your own, then we can burn this thread.

HBH,<BR>I can only speak for myself when I say that I have alot of those same fears. You are not alone in feeling the way you do. Why not turn it around and acknowledge all the positive things you feel about yourself right now. I know there has to be something positive about yourself. Turn it around face those fears with some positive responses! I know you can do it. Here's one to start with, I am a good person. Now it's your turn.<BR>Cybil

HBH:<P>Good job on the list. Will add to the fears AC (after coffee).<P>STL

Good idea Cybil. I will start another thread regarding the good things I feel about myself.<P>I just needed to get all those fears off my chest. They weigh me down. It helps me to write them out, realize where they come from, and hopefully burn them. Maybe someday I can go down the list and check off the ones I no longer feel...

I, too, have many of the same fears, HBH. My inner-child often cries for fear of this or that. I guess that I'm a pyschologist's dream. On a more positive note, I am a responsible person. Responsible for <B>SO</B> many things.... yet responsiblity for my life is on the top of the list because looking out for #1 allows me to be strong enough for all the other things that are important to me. And this can be a rather hefty load to carry. That is why my #1 need is support, be it financial, emotional or otherwise. <P>Wow....glad to get that off my chest <P>------------------<BR><B>Time heals all wounds as long as you DON'T pick at them!</B>

Hmmm ... perhaps some recovering WS fears:<P>I fear a relapse.<BR>I fear a LB will unravel the work we have done.<BR>I fear that I really don't deserve this (recovery).<BR>I fear that I can't live up to the BS's expectations.<BR>I fear my own weaknesses and now-demonstrated ability to make poor choices.<P>But I will end this list this way:<P>I hope God, the MB principles and counseling help me overcome my fears.<P>Godspeed,<BR>STL

I'm afraid of doing/saying something wrong to push H further away.<BR>I'm afraid I won't know the right time to Plan B.<BR>I'm afraid I'm not doing everything I should be to show him I love him.<BR>I'm afraid I'm leaving something out that could change his mind and clear the fog.<BR>I'm afraid I'll never find someone else if my marriage ends.<BR>I'm afraid of ending up alone and bitter.<BR>I'm scared to death I will get D papers any time.<BR>I'm afraid H will wake up out of fog and be ashamed to come home and will just stay away.<BR>I'm afraid OW will get pregnant.<BR>I'm afraid I'll never have kids.<P>I'm afraid I'm getting more depressed now.... thinking of all my fears.