Hey folks<P>Been okay for the past couple months. Basically what has been happening is the following<P>- Hardly shows any affection<BR>- Doesn't take me anywhere<BR>- Doesn't pay much attention to me<BR>- We didn't have sex in the last 7days and when we did this morning it was pure automatic<P>I am beginning to think that maybe something is going on with him but he assures me that it's not. I expressed my feelings of insecurity to him and also what I need from him. He promised that he would make a change and try to stick to that change, but it is not enough for me. I suggested that we read HNHN together, but he says he already knows what all "those books" say. I replied that if you already know why don't you do what you have to do.<P>I really need him to read this book because I think he would be more aware of what women need emotionally. <P>Any suggestions?..

CG - What is the recent history of the affair?<P>WAT

Hi WAT<P>Read my post in Just Found Out - Feb-2001 titled "What do I do Now".<P>It was an EA (as far as I know) but my H is just generally acting this way. I know for a fact that my weight is a problem, and he prefers not to mention it too often because he knows how sensitive I am about it. Ther has not been any contact with the OW since February.<P>You could also read my answers to a post called [/bold]"My husband is having internet affair because I am overweight" by TEARS OF SORROW.[/bold]- July 2001<P>Things have gotten better since February, but I find that I have to remind him of my needs. I've read here about "husband coaching". Is this okay?<P><BR>------------------<P>

Hi Folks<P>I hope you guys remember me. It's been a while. Recently my H is just generally acting weird and it has gotten me thinking again. I know for a fact that my weight is a problem, and he prefers not to mention it too often because he knows how sensitive I am about it. There has not been any contact with the OW since February.<P>My answers to a post called [/B]"My husband is having internet affair because I am overweight" by TEARS OF SORROW.[/B]- in "Just Found Out" - July 2001 can also be read.<P>Things have gotten better since February, but I find that I have to remind him of my needs. I've read here about "husband coaching". Is this okay?<P>

Hi <P>Ignore this last post. I don't know but I did something wrong because I was distracted by the phone.<P>Sorry!!

oops! The server was playing up, sorry<p>[This message has been edited by tears of sorrow (edited August 01, 2001).]

oops my computer kept telling me it didnt go through!<p>[This message has been edited by tears of sorrow (edited August 01, 2001).]

oops again! SORRY<p>[This message has been edited by tears of sorrow (edited August 01, 2001).]

Dear Caribgirl<P>I thought id try and share my thoughts on your dilemma for what its worth. So here goes:<P>Maybe you could highlight the most important parts/paragraphs of the book and then ask your H to at least read through these. He might surprise himself finding what the book really does say as oppose to what he thinks it says.<P>As for your weight, well i can fully understand how difficult it is to keep motivated while dieting. Maybe your H not meeting your needs has set you back abit. I can only suggest that you read through a web site that one of the Mb users emailed me about it recently from my thread, "forums.delphi.com". She claimed that she too, is following the low carb diet, loggs into this forum regularly and gets all the encouragement and motivation from the friends she has made from this site. That is what its there for. I think you just need a little boost to get back into it and start feeling good again to motivate you to get to that gym thats close to your work.<P>Anyway these are my suggestions. Hope all goes well. Keep in touch.<P>TOS<BR>

Dear TOS<P>Thanks for your input. I've already highlighted important areas (when I read through it the first time). I will propose your idea to my H and see if it will work.<P>Well, his attitude has improved somewhat. You know, I don't want to give the wrong message like he is such a bad guy. He does show some affection, but sometimes not necessarily the way I need it. You know - like two days ago he put on some really nice music and as I was passing by, he grabbed me around the waist and started dancing with me! I absolutely love that kind of spontaneity!<P>Then last night I felt so down when he went out. True, it was to a farewell "do" for a very good friend of his (male), but I still continue to feel left out of everything. My problem lies in that we do not spend enough time together. Our sexual life is alright - I just felt frustrated because we didn't make love for 7 days! Usually it's every other day or twice a week (am I an animal!!! ?<P>Well, maybe I do have it going good...!<P>I just really want him to read the book because I know it will clear some things up and reinforce what I've been trying to convey to him about my needs. He told me that I meet all his needs, but I still feel he's just being polite.<P>TOS, I will call up the website "delphis" and see what comes up. I will let you know how it turns out, okay.<P>Well, today I'm actually starting fitness classes at the city gym. I registered yesterday (2 months in advance in case I get cold feet! ) Wish me luck.<P>BTW how are things with your H? Are things working out at all?<P><BR>

Dear Caribgirl<P>I was just wondering if your H has begun reading the book yet?<P>Of course your H doesnt come across as a "bad guy". He has had just a slight oversight on your EN. With your help he can overcome this. <BR>With the two of you dancing together, I also like that kind of romantic spontaniety.<P>Reading through Dr Harleys material, he always encourages that couples spend about 15hrs a week alone together. Alone also without the kids. I know sometimes this is hard to do sometimes having a toddler around but i guess like he says you need to try and balance your time to allow this time for yourselves. Maybe putting your son to bed early(if you dont already do this) and allowing family to look after him sometimes while you go out for dinner/lunch. <P>As for SF, well i dont think you are an animal at all even if you wanted it ever other day, lol!<P>Its great to hear that you are starting your fitness classes. Just take it slow at first and im sure you will enjoy them and start to feel better about yourself.<P>Ill update my thread soon about whats been happening with me. Things are pretty much the same, but on a "standstill".<P>Anyway Good luck with everything<P>TOS