Ok.....I'm sitting here going through the board this morning and low and behold.....my WH calls me...leaves message on voice mail to call him back.....then calls back immediately.....doesn't leave a message this time.....and then I go to call him back on my cell phone....only 1 phone line....and as I'm dialing the # he's calling me on my cell phone. Must be important huh????<P>NOPE.....he just wanted to know if I called the lady at the bank about the van payment. He knew I already had.<P>He didn't ask to talk to the girls.....just asked what they were doing. I told him the little ones wanted to talk...they talked.....my oldest wouldn't talk to him.....2 days in a row now. He says....well...she'll come around.<P>I kept it light....only answering questions. Not offering anything....and he finally said he was going to get back to work.....THEN.......he said.......I can't believe you haven't asked me any questions about Saturday night. I said....it's not really any of my business....he didn't say what he usually says....well...no.<BR>He asked me a couple though.....like always. What did you do Saturday night since the races were rained out? Took the girls to the movies. Who went with you? Not that it's any of your business.....but my dad and his wife.<P>Here's something else. Saturday I asked my H to look at one of my chairs.....and asked him if he could fix it. He joked around about that being all I asked him for.....to fix things. Anyway.....he said he could if I brought the welder over from his dads. I thought he would have forgotten about it by now since it was something I asked him to do...since he doesn't think of me.....he says this....that he doesn't think of me.<P>While on the phone he asked me if I got the welder from his dads.....surprised the you know what outta me. Wonder what he was thinking about? Me....or the chair? lol<P>Anyway....he hung around on the phone for a bit in silence like he wanted to say something else or something then said....well...I better get back to work....I'll call the girls to talk to them later tonight. I said ok....and bye and then hung up.<P>Any suggestions on this one.....he's calling more often now...and when he does call....he's asking more questions and commenting on the fact that I'm not asking him any.....and talks to me more than the girls.<BR>

Could be he feels you stepping back. So, whatever you're doing, keep doing it.<P>Your post title referred to Plan B. If his behavior keeps warming, you may not need it, but the two big questions are, 1) how's your love bank balance - are you doing ok at avoiding LB's, and 2) is he anywhere close to dumping OW?<P>WAT

I agree with WAT.... sounds like great response from whatever you are doing.. Plan A with some "mystery" and standing up for yourself. B is a last resort - which you were almost ready for last week, if I recall. Perhaps you standing up for yourself, "tough love", was enough to get his attention a little and get him wondering... Keep it up! You're doing great! And perhaps miss his calls every now and then too.

Hiya MP,<P>Funny how when you aren't there at the beckon call, the horse returns to the barn a bit more often, huh? Sometimes when we show no regard, it is with the greatest regard that the WS reacts. Strange interraction to say the least. You have changed the pattern of communication with him and he reacts by keeping you engaged in whatever way he can. Be careful not to read too much into it just yet. He wants to keep up with you, but from a safe distance, to keep him non-committal. He isnt offering too much, but not taking too much either. Continue keeping it light and I like Faith's suggestion about missing a call every once in awhile. It will drive him a tad crazy, but in a good way, maybe. <P>Stay strong...<P>*Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.*<P>Trueheart

WAT,<P>My love bank is not full....but it's not empty either. Should be after what he's put me through though.<BR>He doesn't show any signs of being ready to give the OW up yet. They are seeing each other openly now....he's admitting to me finally that he is seeing her. Heck...he's got her car key on his key ring. He says he's supposed to work on her car sometime. Didn't look like a car key to me.<P>Also.....couldn't it possibly be that he's just trying to be friends....since he sees that I'm moving on? Is it possible that he isn't really getting confused but just trying to be friendly for the sake of the girls?<BR>I'm confused at this point.....trying to figure out what game he's playing. I'm not really putting much into anything....but he gets in these moods where he sounds so serious about it being over forever.....then the next day it's like that conversation never took place.<P>The reason for leaving last night was to miss his call actually.....but I left my cell phone on. I'm sure if he wouldn't have been able to get ahold of me that he would have gotten angry.....since he calls every night to talk to the girls. BUT.....he left....doesn't want to be here with them every night because I am here.....so....who said I had to stay at home to wait for him to call the girls. It was his decision to leave....the only time I have to make sure I'm home is on Wednsday evenings and every other Saturday morning for him to pick them up and Sunday at 5 for him to bring them home.<BR>Otherwise....I'm on my own.....can pick up and go whenever I want to.<BR>So......I miss his call...it's a LB probably....but it's his choice.....even if he does talk to me more than he does the girls....I'm not sitting around and waiting on that call. We have a life too.....I don't see him sitting around waiting for me to call him and tell him that they are crying for him.....I don't call him at all anymore....unless he calls and asks me to call him back.<BR>