I finally got the details of H's conversation with OW on Saturday which resulted in his telling me that he expects to receive no more calls from her.<P>He called OW Saturday and asked her to meet him for coffee (this is a biggie by itself- I told him last week that her being at his house, regardless of the reason, made me uncomfortable. He was at his house alone Sat. night- no kids, and knew they wouldn't be home til late). So- a public place. They apparently made small talk for a few minutes, then he told her that it was time for her to move on with her life and just forget that he ever existed. She asked if that was what he wanted her to do, he said yes, she started crying and left. He did not follow.<P>Then yesterday, I called him at work and he didn't answer the page. So, since it was during lunch, I called his cell phone. It was turned off. He called me back in just a few minutes. It seems that though she didn't call him at work very often, the timing made him think it might be her, so ignored the page. He said his cell phone will stay turned off unless he is expecting a call from me or one of the kids. So, from now on, when I call him at work, I need to leave a message and he will call me back. <P>While we were talking last night, he told me that I probably knew more about what to expect from her than he does because of all the reading I've been doing. He asked if that conversation would be enough- I told him that I don't know her, but it seems from what other people have gone through, that she will need to know that he is committed to our marriage and specifically told not to contact him again. He told me that he is having mixed emotions about ending it with her,(guilt, remorse about the relationship, empathy for her decision, excitement that it may be finally over- no questioning of his decision) but due to the stuff I gave him to read, he knows to expect this. this by itself is huge- he's been reading Harley stuff!<P>I know better than to get too excited about this- my head does anyway. I guess the next step is to work on getting him to send her a no contact letter. He would like to avoid telling her that he's committed to the marriage because then she will realize that he's been lying to her for months. Oh well, small steps and I am excited!

cloudy - good job!!<P>Maybe he gave you an openning for education with his remark about your reading. Perhaps you've already done this, but consider making your "reading" available to him if he wants - don't push, just let him know gently.<P>WAT

cloudy<P>Congrats on your progress...now comes the hard part.<P>Heed WAT's last line about not pushing. This is hard to do but your H has to move at his own speed. Don't be too discouraged as he goes thru withdrawal---which he will.<P>Stick to your plan and keep up the good work.<P>Best of luck to you as you move further down this road. It's always encouraging to see people move forward.<P>E