Last night my wife wanted to get intimate. I had the desire and no anger towards her yet physically nothing happened. For the past few months I always thought about the guy my wife has the two night stand with and it interferred with the process but at least I could still perform. But last night to my embarrassment everything died. I wasn't even angry or anything. My wife was in the mood, I mentally would have liked to do it but physically I couldn't. Well I hope my WS will have patience with me now to recover my lost romantic feelings. Well the romantic feeling is there but the sexual urge has dampened to zero. Even for another woman I wouldn't have the urge right now, everything just died. I wonder if Viagra helps these kind of cases or if it is just a mental thing that I have to recover from. Makes me feel quite inadequate and a bit ashamed. Now I am feeling maybe my wife needs a new husband for her sake because maybe I can't satisfy her in the future. I wouldn't be angry at her for this and just chalk it up to one big bad experience where just a bunch of bad circumstances happened to cause my wife to do what she did. If we split I just feel sad for my young children. They mean a lot for me.

I have read your posts a lot. I would like to adress something. Why are you letting this 2 day fling have such power in your mind?? You need to release the power of what has happened and be able to move on. Can you do that? Have you read any of the Harley Books? I feel that you really are trying hard to save it, but to do that, this power that it has in you has got to be let go off. Every post you say your wife had a 2 day fling, I know that it hurts, I have been where you are in the pain, but the only way to really heal is to not let it devour your mind. I wish I could help you with the reason for the thread, but I think that is better left to the male persons on the board.

The viagra is not a miracle over the mind. You will still need stimulation of sorts. When the bad thoughts come to mind you will already be "ready." Try it! Could help both of you a lot.

Rodger,<P>In general, I think a lot of men fall into the trap of relating manhood with size and/or their sexual prowess. In other words, you're more of man if it's big and you're good in bed. Personally, I think the measure of a man reaches far beyond these characteristics.<P>Have you read HN/HN ? There's a chapter which describes the stages of getting 'into the mood' and whilst I don't agree with the way it's written, the message is correct. Just as girls need to create the moment, I think men do to. For me, romantic music and passionate kissing can put me in the mood when before, I wasn't. It's also a great turn-on when I'm in the mood :-)<P>There's also many ways to be intimate with your W and give her pleasure - penetration doesn't have to be the goal. You might also find that during this time it'll happen for you, too.<P>Freddy<P>

I struggle with the same thing, and even though I have found "other ways" to bring her pleasure, without penetration, I know she wants that. Viagra is worth trying, though. Like it was mentioned, you still need stimulation. It, of itself, won't give you the erection. But it can help make it easier.