My WH was supposed to come to see the girls today....but when I called to ask him what time he was planning on coming by...which was at 4:00 p.m. he told me that he was planning on coming to see them but he may have to take someone to the E.R.<BR>First of all....it's not my H's responsibility to take people the the E.R....they employ someone for that job on both shifts. Second...it was already 4:00 p.m. wonder when he was planning to call...the accident happened at 2:30 p.m. I later found out.<BR>I let it slide....didn't want to start anything on the phone. He said he would stop by and see them if he was in town later and I said no....no just popping in whenever you want remember. He said ok....I'll call them later then.<P>He called later in the evening....alot later than usual.<BR>I didn't talk to him much....just handed the phone over.<BR>Our oldest daughter finally talked to him....but only asking him about when she was going to get her allowance.<BR>After they were done I got back on the phone....kind of a must since the 2 little ones don't say bye...they just hand the phone to me.<BR>He almost immediately asked me when I was going to be ready to sit down and talk about agreeing with each other about a divorce. I just said...I'm not ready yet....don't know if I ever will be....because I don't want a divorce.<BR>HIM: Why don't you want a divorce?<BR>ME: Because <WH> I still love you.<BR>HIM: I thought you were over it...with the way you've been acting.<BR>ME: No...but I can't just sit at home and mope. That's not good for the girls. I have to keep them constantly occupied now.<BR>HIM: Oh.....but how could you still love me?<BR>ME: I just do...I can't explain it...it's just there. I wish sometimes that it wasn't.<BR>HIM: Why?<BR>ME: Because...then I wouldn't feel like I feel right now.<BR>HIM: But I thought you hated me?<BR>ME: I never said I hated you....I said I hated what you were putting us through. Is it wrong for me to still love you?<BR>HIM: No....I don't guess so.<BR>HIM: In time you'll be ready to talk to me about it.<P>That was it about us.....he brought it all up....first time for everything I guess.<BR>He also....for the first time asked how his father was doing. I just said....ok I guess....we don't go over there as often as we would like to since they are so tired after work. <BR>He also offered the information that he wasn't WITH the OW just dating her.<BR>He sounded a little different on the phone tonight.<P>I wish I knew what was going on with him. GOD help me but I still love this man...and tonight made me realize that I was trying to convince myself that I didn't anymore....when I still do....with everything that I have. I wish I knew how to help him....so we could move forward together....not apart like we are now.

MP...<P>You are helping him. I see it in the conversation and the tone. He is questioning, he is probing for answers. (I dont want to get your hopes up though.)He wants to know how could you still love him and why do you still feel the way you do. He is searching for understanding. My guess is that OW is showing the real her, and maybe doing some LBs. You are doing the right thing. Remain patient and at an arms length from him. He said *In time you will be ready to talk*...translate...In time WE can talk more about this. <P>Hang tough MP!! Ever so slowly he peeked out of the fog for just a second. (Why else tell you that he and OW are just "dating"??)<P>Sleep well and take a big sigh!!<P>Trueheart