<BR>I know that we are not out of the woods yet, but this is the most hope I've had in 2 months. I know to some this seems short, to me its been an eternity. W has not even made a commitment to me or coming home. She did say that she has missed me (huge turn around). W was wondering what it would be like to come home, I told her that I won't demand counceling but would like to see that as a start. And I confirmed that I wasn't going to ask for any details or what she's been doing, but if she needs to talk that I would be there to listen. She was at the clinic this morning, I don't know any results yet, I don't know if any new info will change her mind. My prayer is that the fog doesn't settle back in, which I know is possible. I appreciate your prayers and any info from those who have been here before.<P>I sent her an anniversary card that should arrive on time tomorrow confirming my love for her and my desire to have her home. <P>knight?

knight-<BR>Sounds like a little bit of good news in this whole mess! Just don't set your expectations too high yet. . expect alot of waffling and contridictory (sp) statements from her. It really does take a while to come out of the fog. You will need to dig as deep as you can for all the paitence you can muster!! Your Plan A is so very important right now, do your best!! Good luck!

Remeber this process is a slow one...two steps forward and one step back so don't get discouraged when that step back takes place---and it will.<P>DOn't push her...be there for her and continue to be her friend and be patient and kind...<P>good luck <P>E

Knight,<P>keep true to your plan A - very important - if she does come back, I wouldn't push the counseling. Why not just try the MB principle of spending time together, talking, and getting her involved in some activities with you ?<P>Keep the TV turned off - it's a killer :-)<P>take care,<P>Freddy

Excellent advice on keeping the TV off, Freddy. It just consumes way too much time. I mean, if you're both watching the program and commenting on it, and having a good time together (my wife and I do that on these new game show programs like "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" and "The Weakest Link") then that is different.<P>But what you've heard is what you are going to see. 2 steps forward, one step back. And more often than not, it is just one forward, one back, and you get nowhere for a long time. But any step forward is a great thing and does wonders for restoring your hope as a BS, for your marriage. My wife also came home recently, and the fog seemed to completely lift for a few days. She threw herself at me, and I felt closer to her than I had in a long time. But now she has started to withdraw again. The fog returns. <P>I am not going to let it eat at me, though, and neither should you. Expecting the fog to return is a good and bad thing. It's good, so you won't be too down when it does happen, but it's bad because you are expecting failure. And in my book, when you expect failure, you almost gaurantee it.<P>Just be what she wants you to be. Be exciting. Be sweet and kind. Be unselfish. Her fog receded just enough to see the marriage she once had, and/or the marriage she dreams of. That is good news. Use this clarity to show her even more clearly what kind of husband you can be, if she lets you.<BR>

Good start! It was shortly before the 2 month mark that H started telling me that he missed me. But that was followed by 3 more months of waffling and moving in and out several times (all he ever took was clothes though). So be prepared for a rollercoaster but every journey has to start somewhere.

thanks for your replys,<BR>I guess I was hoping that there wouldn't be any more waffling or fog, but I guess its good to know up front what she is going through. I will plan A the best I can, we're not much into TV so thats not too much of an issue. I told her I'd like to take some time to take a vacation and get away from the hussle and bustle of life. Does commitment scare off WS? Is that a reason for the fog?<P>My mind simply has a way of going off the deep end if I don't talk to her every 24 hrs or so. Today being our 9th Wedding anniversary, not having her home and the thought of her in OM arms are killing me. <P>Your prayers and suggestions are coveted.<BR>knight<P>

Knight I think its so great she wants to come home. But dont expect too much from her at first especially if she was quite emotionally involved with OM. My H moved back home at the 2 mo point but still wavered back and forth emotionally and slept on the couch some nights. He didnt want any intimacy for 6 wks after he moved home- that made it a whole 7 mo before it FINALLY returned- I was VERY patient and just waited him out until he was emotionally ready and now its really good! Hang in there- lifeismessy