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What are ways that you guys vent some of the frustrations, anger and hurt that so many of us feel? Coming on here, and putting it all into words is definitely a big way for me. But you know, getting in my car, and driving nowhere in particular, and screaming on the top of my lungs does wonders to help me release all that anger and hurt.<P> ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/tongue.gif) lays Twilight Zone music in head:
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Joined: Mar 2001
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GM,<BR>I certainly need to try some of those techniques. I have NEVER been an angry person before the A started. Now I find myself ocassionally bursting out in anger and not knowing how to deal with it. For example, last month (before my W agreed to reconcile) I talked to OM on W's cell phone. W was actually the one to dial the number and give me the phone. After OM told me that when it comes to my W that I blew it, I threw W's cell phone through the wall. Not a very good way of dealing with anger. <P>S&C
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Joined: Jun 2001
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I, too, have wanted to throw my W's cell phone through a window! It was bad enough when I checked her voicemail on her cell phone and found a message from him. When will we ever learn?<P>Oh yes, though, the screaming does wonders. I was never an angry person, either. I've never raised my voice at my wife, even to this day. But I've gotten into some "angry music" to help vent. Sing along to some Alannis Morisette or Linkin Park and see how much better you feel!
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Joined: Jul 2001
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Hi GodlyMan,<P>I recently purchased I 25lb punch bag, which I like to beat the life out of. I couldn't say that I'm thinking about my W, or the OM when i'm hitting the bag. I just enjoy the physical release. I also find that going to a gym class where they work you to near death also releives my stress. For me getting the blood pumping round my system really de-stresses me. I could just be a 'strange' one though!<P>I also know that coming here and releasing all my potnetial LB's is a great help before talking to my W.<P>I hope you are coping well, you are in my prayers.<P>Plec.
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Joined: Jul 2001
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1. Writing in a journal <P>2. I pretend I'm talking to/yelling at my H to vent my feelings (don't worry, I only do this in the privacy of home - I'm sure if anyone came to the door, they would quickly turn and walk away ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif) )<P>3. Exercising <P>
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Joined: May 2001
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GM:<P>Venting here is one of the board's purposes IMHO ... better here, where the purpose is understood, rather than at the spouse or OP.<P>Any healthy, constructive outlet works. Jounrals (as Faith mentions), jogging ... whatever it takes to keep that mounting frustration and anger from being directed where it will do the most harm.<P>Godspeed,<BR>STL
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I don't vent to often. If I get too stressed a good cry and a nap usually do the job for me.<BR>I don't get angry all that often but when I do I tend to get quiet and roll things around in my head, having "conversations" with myself in my mind til I work out whatever is bothering me.<BR>Shopping helps too.<BR>But, thinking about this, I don't deal with even half the stuff people here do, not even close. So, I"m only answering on dialy things, not marital one's since my marriage is basically happy and healthy.
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GM,<P>Like you I have listened to music really loud, Staind and others have helped me. Other than that I get on here and vent, write in journal, and scream at the top of my lungs to no one just the foggy mess.<BR>BTW, how are things with you?<BR>GC
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Joined: Oct 2000
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I've learned that coming here helps most. Even if I just spend my time reading other posts.<P>I've also tried:<P>1. Shopping for myself (this can be dangerous ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/grin.gif) )<P>2. Taking a long ride to nowhere and thinking about what I'd really like to tell my wife!<P>3. Talking about it to my close family (parents). Although as time has passed, I rarely do this any more.
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Things aren't getting better, gdc. But I am. If only she realized that, as each day passes, I am growing more and more used to the fact that I can live without her.<P>7 pages of venting helps =)
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My favorite venting technique is like Shedawg's. I have a conversation with myself - OUTLOUD. I woke my W up one night discussing (with myself) how I felt about an MSM chat I observed her having with OM. How embarrassing. But at least she tried to get me to discuss it with her. <P>Posting (and replying) here helps too, even when my posts aren't explicit vents. Expressing emotions even on others behalf seems to have a calming effect.<P>Darn, this was supposed to be an MB free workday. I guess I'll just count this as a short coffee break.<P>-Jeffers<BR>
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I'd have to say that before I found MB that my favorite venting technique was writing in my journal or going to my bedroom and just crying or yelling about what an A** my WH is!!!<BR>Cybil
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Joined: Jul 2001
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My ways of venting are pretty stupid, but they work for me. # 1 If I am having a really bad day, I write it out. I have moments of hurt thinking about my spouses affair, I still have triggers, But instead of Lbing to my H, I write it out and then I give H the option of reading it, If he choses not to, it is okay. and then I burn IT.<P> My second way to GET in a better mood is to get in the car and SING What's New [censored] Cat at the top of my very awful voice until I am screaming with laughter!! Thank God I am a Country Boy by John Denver works too. See Stupid, but it works of ME!!!
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Coming here...working out...running....crying....writing
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Weightlifting--running.<P>While my son was in school, I did cardio kickboxing classes. It helped to think of OW's face at the end of my foot. Not a healthy thought, I know, but the excercise made me feel so much better.<P>Then I play with my little boy. When I get really upset, I try to focus the energy that I would otherwise spend yelling and I go get my little boy and ride skateboard or skooter with him, or have a tickle match, or read a book. Before long, the angry feelings subside.
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