For the first time in months....I woke up this morning and feel ok....It is a great feeling. I have my appt w/ lawyer at 1.<P>The incident last night settled any and all feelings I had for my H. I feel sorry for him....he will loose everything. I wonder if he will ever realize what he has lost. What a shame.<P>Thank you all for all the support over these last few months. I wouldn't have made it through this emotional nightmare without you. As a new person on this forum--I have been reading with interest the comments about the old and new posters. I don't know how it used to be here....but for me the help and support I received here was unbelieveable. Thank you all. <P>I will tell you how everything goes in the future. I finally feel at peace!!

{{{HUGGGGGGGGGZ Mo}}}<P>I know that letting go can be a difficult decision, but sometimes we see colors and feel things that we havent felt in ages. Lifting the weight off your shoulders, freeing yourself to be you....I wish you the best in this path. We are here if you need any support!!<P>*Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.*<P>Trueheart

Thanks Trueheart<P>I wish it was ending differently...but not to be. I read your letter to Orchid's h. It was great. I would send it to my h....but I am afraid he wouldn't accept it at this point...I don't know why.<P>He will never admit that the fabrications he has made up concerning me and our relationship were just a way for him to justify his behavior. And once he has changed our history...it is hard for him to backtrack. He never really apologized for his past affairs. He just came back and tried to be a better husband--for a short period of time. <P>I think for someone like him...he has such a large ego that has to be constantly filled. He needs that feeling that he is still attractive to the opposite sex...he still has what it takes. He likes to be up on a pedestal. Don't we all ? <P>Anyway, thanks for all your messages...you have been great.

My dear Mo....<P>Just like the Romans and Greeks from generations ago...the pedestal crumble and what is left is the rubble from everything on the pedestal falling apart. I hate to say it, but his ego is going to take a pounding over time, as it gets more and more difficult to fill. <P>I would send him the letter anyway...If only one line clicks, if only one thing makes him think...you just dont know if the door stays open a crack. You have nothing to lose, huh? If nothing else, he can see that another WS out there that needed his ego filled, has been there and done that!!<P>*Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.*<P>Trueheart

Mo -<BR>If it really goes that way - you do know that a WS can step out of the fog - but if it does, there is life after D. I was married for 5 yrs., D (separation May 85/ D final Jan 86), and God gave me a better person in my life - my H now. Even tho, we are making it through our own "fog". I still have much to learn, stuff to forget, and stuff to forgive.<P>Bless you today, and through your journey. Hope you have lots of proof, and fight for yourself and your children. Sorry their father can't see the truth today. Sorry a decision can't be further down the road, so he might recover. We are here for you. hugs, aftershock

MNM:<P>Glad that you have found some respite from the pain you were feeling.<P>Thoughts and prayers still with you and yours,<BR>Godspeed,<BR>STL

Mo,<P>You can do it!! Keep smiling and enjoy what you have...that is something I grew up learning, not matter what is wrong in your life--be grateful for what you do have!!! I send all my prayers your way.

MNM you go girl!! I'm so happy that you feel some peace in your heart. Remember take it day by day things will get easier as times goes on. Remember you have to make yourself your first priority so that you can be there for your kids. Good Luck to you. Hugs and prayers.<BR>Cybil