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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 71
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 71 |
Hello,<P>W's OM is still depositing money into her checking account. I am not on the acct. but with snooping (LB I Know) I found this out. W has denied this when I confronted her (LB). <P>Other than the depositing of money issue I been Plan A'ing to the max. Our M has mproved. But how do I handle this money and continued contact issue? W says she loves me and is trying to be "in love with me". Money is a big EN for her. I am trying not to LB but this is a hard one.<P>Any advice I appreciate<BR>Positive
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 445
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 445 |
Positive,<P>I learned early on that the WS should have no contact with the OP. That means no contact. It's not easy to implement but if your WS is serious about working on the marriage they will respect your wishes. If the continue seeing the OP then I guess you know where you stand.<P>When I found out that my W was in an EA - I asked her for no contact. She agreed and she's kept her promise - can't ask for more than that.<P>On the financial side - this is a tough one. I'll check HN/HN tonite to see what they advise. Have you the book?<P>
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 3,661
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 3,661 |
Just another thought. If you W is willing to work on the marraige, will she fill out the EN questionnaires with you? That way, she can express, and you can learn, how satisfied she is with you. Or even ask her sometime," Are you satisfied with how much money and security we have / I provide?" no / yes. "Are their ways you think I can improve or help you feel better in this area?"
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 71
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 71 |
Freddy,<P>Thanks for the reply!<P>I asked W this week if we could write a no contact letter. W said I could do it. Told her that she needs to write it. And I left it at that for then. I am thinking of asking W to write letter again tonight. Thoughts?<P>As far as HN/HN. I do not know the book. Could I have the full name? Thanks!
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 71
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 71 |
Faith 1,<P>Thanks for the input!!<P>I will ask her to complete the EN quest. I asked her to do so right after D-Day but she wouldn't. To soon I guess. I aked her last night if she is happy with me and are things better between us. She said yes to both. But I am confused and hurt.<P>I have been working xtra hours to help with $. And W has worked during the summer in a Full time position. So it sounds to me like she is trying to cut ties with OM but can't as of yet.<P>Positive
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 1,227
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 1,227 |
The name of the book is: His Needs Her Needs by Steve Harley. <P>
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