My wife and I have been married for over twenty years. Recently she became involved with a man that passes through her office occasionally. There was no physical contact but they were e-mailing each other with provocative and sexually explicit messages. She made it clear to him that it would never go beyond the internet and it never did. This lasted only for a short period of time, 1 month, and she became bored with it.I found out about this situation from a third party and my wife admitted to it, expressed regret and assured me it was over and would not ever happen again. She said she felt guilt during this time and would not even pray during this period.I have fully forgiven my wife for this distraction and our marriage has actually improved since we now pay more attention to each other and feel like newlyweds once again. The only question I have is, was this an affair or just a game as she first described it. I know that I experienced extreme pain in the beginning but have since been healed.Thanks to any input I may receive and good luck with anyone going through the same experience.

hi justme,<P>I hope you get a lot of replies to your question, but it is sort-of one of those questions that there are a lot of answers to. Will it make you feel worse if this is called an affair, or somewhat better...putting a name on certain actions can be healing in a way. My best interpretation of "affair" or "infedelity" is something I learned on these boards. IF YOUR SPOUSE IS DOING SOMETHING THEY CAN NOT DO IN FRONT OF THE OTHER SPOUSE THEY ARE CHEATING. That struck a cord with me, and I try to remember it. I am so glad to hear that your wife realized what she was doing and the two of you sound like you are doing well. Maybe it was just a bit of a wake up call. It would not hurt either one of you to read SAA, and especially learn the four rules of a successful marriage, a great guide to go by.<P>allison