Hi to anyone reading - I hope this post will encourage someone who is contemplating forgiving those who have betrayed them as it releases so much hurt and bitterness.<P>I finally made the move and wrote a letter to OW. I still think that H and OW are involved somehow and want to be together, but thats not the point. Although I still dont agree with whats happened/happening, I feel so much better having said sorry to her for allowing my marriage relationship to be such that H might develop a close relationship with her which has affected her marriage and family. And for the things I have said and think of her. It has not been honouring to God. Sure, I've needed to vent and get angry, but now its time to move on.<P>I also told her I'd forgiven her for her part in destroying my marriage and part of my life. That was hard, but I meant it. As soon as I decided that was what I had to do, I just did it. I know it sounds crazy, but I felt great about writing the letter. She'll get it today. <P>It doesnt matter how she responds - I guess thats up to her. All that concerns me is that I do what God commands so that I can rebuild my relationship with him and get on with having this little baby - which is due in 25days.<BR>I honestly feel like I'm healing. It will be a process of course - I dont expect I'll be feeling forgiving all the time - but it has begun and I have an awesome God to lead me through it.<P>Can I leave someone with a challenge.....<P>If God is asking you to forgive someone, when will be the right time? In a year? In 6 months? When you've remarried and over it all? Why not now?<P>Please pray for me as I kind of expect the enemey wont like this too much. But I've done what God wanted, so he will protect me. I hope this puts some hope into your situation.<P>Dancer

Dear Dancer,<P>You are a woman with a great heart and will have a lot of love to give your little one. The rest of the world will dwindle in comparison to the love you will have with your child. That bond will be like no other. That bond will help you survive whatever may come your way both good and bad. <P>You have shown us a way to forgive the OP. At first I did that and gave the OW the benefit of the doubt. I wrote a letter, poured my heart into it and had it slapped back in my face. I do not regret my actions. The intent was genuine and God knows. <P>So I leave that part in God's hands. Forgiveness is an act of kindness, God forgives but not blindly. So we must be cautious as serpents yet innocent as doves and knowing when to show care. It is not wise to throw one's pearls before swine (I am not saying OPs are swines). But you want your efforts to have benefit and value. Part of that is dependent on the receiver. <P>For yourself, you should be proud. Regardless of how anyone else acts around you, you know in your heart you did what was right. You will be a good example to your child. Hopefully your H will recognize this as well. <P>Take Care,<BR>L. <P>

Hi Dancer,<P>wow, you humbled me with your post.<P>good on you, you've done it for the right reasons. For you, and you only.<P>I hope it all turns out the way you wish it to.<P>Bonnet<P>ps - gee 25 days to go. My eldest d is 6 next week and I still can't believe where the time has gone. This time just a mere short 6 years ago we were so happy.<BR>How things change. All the best to you and your little one.<P>

Awesome!