Some of you know my saga. WS left in Nov. saying it was him,wouldn't it be great if our marriage could be better? I found out about OW March 29 who he moved in with day he left. Since then he has now removed items from the house, why?,I don't know and put them in storage. Think OW needed proof that he was being true to her. OOPS,guess he forgot that we had int. mom. just 2days prior to his removing some things. And the fact that he was put off when I did not kiss him on the lips Sunday after he removed items and talked about D. He also said to me, while I was crying, I didn't remove everything.<BR>I did go to a Lawyer retained her and she has sent out a letter stating so. I did not file for D but since he has been talking about it more and more I got a Lawyer. Funny thing though. He called me 2xs from his get away to FLA with OW, standing in the rain telling me not to file for divorce. Said we would talk later.meaning next Saturday.<BR>My question is, should I try to plan A again. I tried plan B but he ignored it. I have 3 young children 3, 7 and 9 so that is how he got passed it. Would even use them to talk to me.<BR>Please can anyone help,I feel as though I am spinning out of control, and in the wrong direction. Or am I in such denial that my marriage is truly over?

When did you start Plan B? <P>It is hard to Plan B with children. This is especially so if you are depending on him for monetary support. <P>As I see it you have two choices.<P>You could continue to with a modified Plan B. First see an attorney and file for a legal separation or divorce (depends on the laws in your state). This will enable your attorney to set up orders for child and spousal support and for visitation with children. Then write your H a Plan B letter telling him that:<P>----you do not want to divorce but need to legal protection to ensure that you and the children are taken care of financially and that visitation is in place.<P>---- you will discuss child-rearing issues with him as needed. However that you prefer to use email whenever possible. <P>---- at any time that he is willing to work on your marriage you will drop the divorce proceedings. Until such time you have nothing to discuss with him. When he is ready to work on your marriage you will accept him back if he sends the OW a no-contact letter and has no further contact of any kind with her ever. If he will agree to attend one year of marriage counseling with you. And he agrees to follow the MB concepts in rebuilding your marriage.<P><BR> Then only talk to him on issues related to your children and finances. For all other things do not talk to him until he agrees to come home and work on our marriage. Most or all of your communications could be through emails. <P>IMHO<P>Z<BR><P>------------------<BR>He loves not who does not show love.<BR>----William Shakespeare

IN NJ they do not have a legal seperation. I have been fortunate though he is still having his pay direct deposited. I pay all bills. When it comes to the children he is the 5hr Dad. Once a week spends time at home unless I go out then he takes them over to one of his family members homes. Can't even admit to my 9 1/2yr old or 7 yr old that we are seperated. He tells them it is work. Great teach the children it is ok to lie. He has no clue at all.<BR>Lawyer sent him the letter that he also needs a lawyer so we can all sit down and get to the truth. Divorce or not to Divorce. I know I don't want one.