My friend who lives around the corner lost his wife to a brain tumor. She found out she had it 8 days ago, and had surgery this week, and died overnight Thursday a day after the surgery. She just had a baby 4 weeks ago, and they have three other children, all under 6.<P>I can't even think about my marriage right now, because I feel so bad for my friend and those 4 children. They've been at home with their mother ever since they we're born, and that is all that they know.<P>It just makes no sense, and isn't fair.<P>Since you are my friends, I felt like sharing this most tragic situation.<P>What else can I say about that. It is so terrible. Tomorrow is the visitation.<P>No matter how bad it seems, it can always be worse. You can't make sense of this. Thanks for listening.<P>

Rick37 I am so sorry my sincerest condolences. You are right life is not fair. What a tradgedy. My heart goes out to your friend and his children. I will remember all of you in my prayers. Again I'm so sorry. Please take care and be strong for your friend he really needs you right now. <BR>God Bless,<BR>cybil

Hi Rick,<BR> What a terribly tragic situation. It really makes my problems seem so petty. I will remember the family in my prayers. May God bless them.<P>~TD~<BR><P>------------------<BR>I'm falling even more in love with you<BR>Letting go of all I've held onto.<BR>I'm standing here until you make me move.<BR>I'm hanging by a moment here with you.<P>From Hanging by a Moment by Lifehouse

Oh Rick, my heart goes out to your friend and those poor children. I will also keep them in my prayers tonight.<P>You're right, life is not fair. <P>HbH

I don't know what to say. Those little babies without their mother....I feel sick to my stomach thinking about it.<BR>Your friend and his children will be in my prayers.<P>cleo

So sorry to hear about your friend and his wife. What a horrible situation. It will be a difficult time for your friend. I will keep them in my prayers!!

How very, very sad. I am so sorry for your friend & his family. I will keep them, and you on my prayers tonite.<P>Kathi

Thanks for the kind words. When I saw their new baby 2 weeks ago, they were so happy, but my friend's wife was tired and had a headache. Doctors thought it was hormones, from the pregnancy, but did some tests anyway.<P>The rest is history. Just shows you that you just never know what lies ahead. Better make the most of each day.<P>I think I'm somewhat emotional and sentimental right now. Add to that, my friend has been worried about his job for a few months...he works for a telecommunications company that has been laying off people in waves. He's been wondering if he'd make it and still be employed. That is all he needs right now.<P>

Dear Rick,<P>Been away most of the day, didn't get to see your post until now. Please accept my deepest condolences for your friend and his family. The loss of a loved one is always tragic. You are a good friend to be there for them. <P>You are right about this not being fair. We understand and will support you through this as well. <P>With deepest sympathy, <BR>L. <BR>

I'm here too, Rick. Praying for you and your friends. <P>------------------<BR>Faith1<P>"Then Jesus answered, 'Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.'"<BR>Matt 15:28

Rick I too have lost someone near and dear to me last week. My 20 year old nephew died in a tragic car accident. His injuries were so bad that it was a closed casket.<P>It will take a long time if ever to recover. But it did wake me up a bit. The saying "LIFE IS TOO SHORT" has now become a reality to me. My goal now is to provide a loving,happy,simple,easy life for my 2 sons (7 & 9 yrs)and myself. I'm going to do this either with or without my H (WS). And when the right time comes along my WS will be told this.<P>My love and prayers go out to you and your friend and his children.

WOW....your sad news sure does make all of our marital problems small in comparison to the suffering of this poor family. God sure works in mysterious ways. My heart goes out to your neighbors.<P>------------------<BR><B>Time heals all wounds as long as you DON'T pick at them!</B>

I am so sorry that you and your friend have to go through this pain. You're right, life isn't fair.<P>It's amazing how situations like these really make you stop and think. I know for myself, since Andrew passed away last September, my life has become different. I find I just don't have the patience for so many issues (which to me are seemingly meaningless). I know that explains a lot of why I sometimes give such short, sharp replies on here. I know all too well what's really important. It's just shame that it can sometimes take the actual death of a loved one before we get that slap in the face.<P>My thoughts are with you and your friend and his family. It may be hard for you to be there for him, considering all that you are going through in your life, but I wish you the best. We're all here for you if you need to talk.<P>Take care,<BR>Karen<BR>

I know this must be a horrible tragedy for the father and for the children, especially for the baby, who not only has lost a mother, but has lost out on the many benefits of breastfeeding. <P>At least presumably the children and the husband are left with fond memories of a loving mother/wife, and the mother died feeling loved by her family. That is what is most important to the children's welfare.

Rick,<BR>I'm so sorry to hear about your friend and his family. My heart goes out to all of you. I will say a prayer for them and for you. <P>MS

Thanks for all the kind words for this poor father and his children. I went to the visitation, and he was holding out in an amazing way. I imagine that this is all so shocking that he is numb right now.<P>I told him I'm always here and to call me for anything, and he said "just come to the park with me, because it is going to be different being at home with 4 children."<P>Anyway, just an update. The neighborhood is quite sad right now. He has alot of family (on both sides), at least 8 siblings close by, and parents, so luckily he has lots of support. Thank goodness for that.<P>

This is so sad, Rick. I'm praying for your friend and his family. He is blessed to have you there to lean on.<P>God Bless,<BR>Jo

Just a suggestion Rick... don't wait for him to call you if he needs anything. Just you show up with a meal every now and then, and you call him. Trust me on this one, after a month or so, he won't feel comfortable with calling others for support, he'll only call those who continue to call him.<P>When the initial shock wears off (in about a month or so), and all the calls and sympathy cards stop pouring in, that's when reality will start to hit him, and that's when he'll need you the most.<P>The shock of such a sudden loss is incredible. The fact that your friend was holding up well is only because he hasn't had the time to think yet. I remember at Andrew's funeral, "I" was the one comforting most of the people coming to the visitations (over 400 people in all). Me, the mother of the child who passed on! It was definitely shock.<P>One other piece of advice (which I'm sure you already know), is to remind him that you'll listen to him whenever he needs to talk about his wife. After that initial month is over, you can be the one to bring her up in conversations so that he'll know not to hide his feelings from you.<P>I'm sorry if I'm sounding preaching in this post, but this situation hits so close to home. My suggestions are based on my experience this past year, and what I would have liked others to do for me.<P>Karen<P>p.s. there is a group in Ontario called 'Bereaved Families of Ontario'.. I'm pretty sure there's one in your city. It's for families who have suffered the loss of a child (at any age), but I'm sure if you call them, they can give you references to other support groups in your area. You might want to look up this info for your friend, and give it to him after that 'month' is over.<BR>

Thanks for all those suggestions Karen. I can't imagine what it was like for you and WAT to go throught your respective situations.<P>I'll keep everything you've said in mind. I lost a brother when I was 22, so I do remember how it suddenly hits you after the initial phase is gone, but that was a long time ago as well. So hearing your experience is very beneficial to me.<P>Thanks.<P><BR>