Sorry, duplicate.<p>[This message has been edited by jeffers (edited August 07, 2001).]

Sorry, duplicate.<p>[This message has been edited by jeffers (edited August 07, 2001).]

Sorry, duplicate.<p>[This message has been edited by jeffers (edited August 07, 2001).]

<P>wish I had something to add.... this is tooooo funny! <P>(just bumping up to see the hidden messages that posted when GQII went down.)

Just noticed Bernzini's post.<P>They wouldn't by chance have these things that are NOT drinking fountains in the bathrooms in Italy, would they?<P>OOPS!<P>-Jeffers

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jeffers:<BR><B>Even in modern society, tree peeing works on so many levels. Our yard is perfect for modern living like this, very secluded, lot's of trees.<BR>--Jeffers</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Oh......and let's not fail to mention that urine contains the valuable fertilizer ingredient called urea which makes most foliage very green. Ever notice the grass over the septic tank being more lush than the surrounding area?<P>Hmmmm......armpit farts! A beautiful young lady whom I had the pleasure to work with taught me to use a drinking straw with one end placed into the armpit while blowing air into the opposite end. This is makes the most disgusting, realistic "gas-passing" sound ever......tee hee hee.<P><P>------------------<BR><B>Time heals all wounds as long as you DON'T pick at them!</B>

A note on bidets:<P>This is something definitely designed by women. If a man had designed it, it would not only power wash your butt, it would blow dry, too.<P>This stems, I think, from an accidental discovery by cave women: the call of nature struck while fetching water from an artesian well.<P>Cave men, of course, were content with grass (hence the modern saying "your a$$ is grass"): not only because it did the job, but using it for such a purpose made it unsuitable for wooly mammoths (which kept the hairy elephants away).<P>A note on workshops:<P>They, too are cave surrogates. It is the place where we, like our Stone Age forebears, contemplated making better things to hunt wooly mammoths (and design better remotes).<P>Oh, by the way, will the #@!!&** who borrowed my obsidian knife please return it? It is hard to skin a wooly mammoth with a remote.<P>Godspeed,<BR>STL

Yes, that's right. . .it's the males' duty to fertilize things.<P>I taught my son to pee on trees when I was toilet training him--I am sorry, I am guilty of that. You know, after changing so many diapers and pull-ups, you'll resort to anything after a while. The most memorable tree peed on by my son: a shady pine tree at the State of Illinois Forensic Laboratory (we were just passing by when the urge struck.) The cops were watching and didn't say anything. I am sure they knew about peeing on trees (marking ones territory,) too.<P>Or is THIS what Dr Harley wanted to talk to you privately all about?

How can you wipe with a handful of grass? Come on now. You need a maple leaf, at least.

B:<P>Elephant grass is REALLY big. Notice nature's variety of grasses. A size for every sanitary need.<P>Godspeed,<BR>STL

ELEPHANT GRASS!!!!!<P>Dude, as a former Light Fighter (25th ID, Light, thank you very much) I know all about elephant grass. It is not fit for wiping unless you want an a$$ full of splinters.<P>(no, I didn't try it)

B:<P>As a former recon type with the 101st Abn., not even I would attempt elephant grass (saw grass or bamboo) ... but have you seen those Cro Magnon types in the museums?<P>They were, gluteus maximus-wise, a lot tougher than we were ... LOL<P>[I would append that nature provides when the ol' C-rat toilet roll runs out. However ... be <I>awfully</I> sure you know your poisons: sumac, oak and ivy <smile>]<P>Godspeed,<BR>STL<p>[This message has been edited by SeenTheLight (edited August 08, 2001).]

And they probably didn't have a choice, there were no bidets back then

B:<P>LOL ... nope, the cave women were all squatting over the artesian well ... <P>Godspeed,<BR>STL

Hey! This thread said guys only! I finally broke down and clicked on page five (did not start at the beginning, due to the guys only thing) and I see women posting! *mock horror*<P>I really wanted to see how WAT was doing. But, as soon as I typed that, realized he was probably still on vacation. <P>I guess I will start at the beginning...

Squatting? Did you say "squatting?" My, what an unflattering word! No, see the Cave Ladies were "posing." They were in the pliee position--how else can one shave one's thighs and bikini line? Actually, it was a Mary Kay party located by the artesian well. (Hey, isn't that where the French get Periere in this modern age?) There is a lot that one can do with red and yellow ochre and ashes. See, Cave men were under some impression that Cave Ladies were extremely delighted to "squat" around and scrape the hides off the animals that were murdered by them. Not so. So while the cave man was off trying out different types of grasses on their postiers, the Cave Ladies were excercising an up and coming method of risk assessement and problem solving called: Common sense. Now tell me, was there one cave man on the face of the earth concerned about having a funky booty? I don't think so.

B:<P>I think you have hit on something very major here, B.<P>Stonehenge wasn't a druidic ritualistic site. It was a place where their wives gathered: For stoneware parties(precursor to tupper), cosmetics parties (love the blue lines and dark circles around the eyes!), and meade meetings (precursor to coffee klatches).<P>So, maybe it wasn't one of the guys who borrowed the obsidian knife ... if it'll shave a hairy elephant, it will do cave woman legs ... grrr, and now it will be dulled and I won't be able to skin the wooly mammoth: might as well just use the remote.<P>The posing issue is equally valid: I think that they were all trying to look like Ms. Welch in <I>1,000,000 B.C.</I>?<P>Godspeed,<BR>STL<p>[This message has been edited by SeenTheLight (edited August 08, 2001).]

Stonehenge: That was Pampered Chef.<P>I think that I still have an egg separator from that era.

STL<P>You know, if you've got some remotes lying around you can pop the back off (the piece that holds the batteries in) and it can serve as a mean scraper. Come to think of it, that's probably what happened to all of our remotes. Now we use duct tape. Ah duct tape... <P>--Jeffers

Jeffers:<P>Thanks for the tip <scrape, scrape> ...<P>Ahhhh ... the joy of duct tape! Beats using wooly mammoth hide strips any day! Is there anything that you can't do with duct tape? I can't think of anything <smile><P>Godspeed,<BR>STL