I want someone who will love me for who I am...not what I can provide or do for them.<BR>I want to be loved despite my faults.<BR>I want to be loved in the way I deserve to be loved.<BR>I want someone that will listen to what I have to say.<BR>I want someone who wants to be given the love that I have...not someone who can throw it back in my face.<BR>I want someone who WANTS to be with me...doesn't have to just tolerate me.<BR>I want someone who wants to share everything with me....not be selfish in some aspects.<BR>I want someone who will talk to me....not at me.<BR>I want a life that makes me happy.<BR>I want my children to be happy like they should be....no worries.<BR>I want to wake up every morning not having to worry about any of this anymore.<BR>I want my children to be secure knowing that everything will be ok...no matter what....it's not happening.<BR>I want my WH to wake up.<BR>I want him to realize what he is giving up....and that it won't be here forever...just waiting on him.<BR>I want him to quit destroying his life and everyone elses lives.<BR>I want him to wake up and be the person that people used to respect and look up to. Now people are disgusted with him.<P>What I want doesn't matter though.<P>I want my WH to let me show him how much I love him.<BR>I want him to give me the opportunity to show him how I've changed.<BR>I want him to come home so we can be a family.<P>No matter what I want....he isn't willing to do it.<P>I offered to sit and talk with him last night.....like he's been asking me too.....he didn't want to.<P>No matter what I'm the one that has to deal with everything. Even his troubles....I'm forved to deal with them. He was able to leave and not have to deal with mine....but what about me? Why do I still have to deal with him. Why was I so easy to throw away?

Oh boy....this could have been written by me. I am forcing myself to go on today. Cleaning out closets, planning my 9 year old's birthday party, cooking(haven't done that in awhile). <P>We could spend our whole life trying to figure out the would'ves, could'ves, should'ves. At this time, it just doesn't seem to do any good. Our Husbands are deep in the FOG and can't be figured out. Their words and actions are beyond explanation. They can't see what they are doing to us and our children. All they see are their own selfish needs. <P>I am tired of trying to figure out why. I am tired of trying to figure out where I went wrong. I am tired of taking the blame. <P>I can't change his perspective. I can't change how he feels at the moment. I can only go on. The pain is just too difficult to bear. <P>It was good to read your post tho---though awful---it is nice to know I am not the only one feeling this way. Please take care of yourself.

<B>It was good to read your post tho---though awful---it is nice to know I am not the only one feeling this way. Please take care of yourself. </B><P>Yeah, HERE's the "kicker" tho.....according to my Horoscope - TODAY IS SUPPOSED TO BE ONE OF THE BEST DAYS OF THE YEAR FOR ME!!!!!! Good day for "romance" (FAT CHANCE), good day for being with people (NOT a good idea today), just all around good day....all the planets "LIKE" me or something today. <P>Yeah, right.<P>My "blue funk" started around Thursday night, and is just beginning to lift tonight......<P>Sorry, didn't mean to bring everybody down...just that this rollercoaster ride is beginning to wear thin. Real thin.<P>Lupo<BR>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by lupolady:<BR><B>My "blue funk" started around Thursday night, and is just beginning to lift tonight......</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>That's about the same as me. Had a good phone call with my wife Thursday at noon. Felt really good about it, but I woke up Friday morning(too early of course) with <B>the "doom."</B> Had a new TV delivered, started to fixup the house and this evening had Chinese. Now I <B>am</B> starting to feel better. <P>Tonight Ken Burns' Jazz DVDs!<P><BR>

Thought I would jump in here:<P>What I want.<P>I want a husband who is happy with his life<BR>I want a husband who cares about me <BR>I want a husband who is willing to accept my faults and help me improve them whenever possible<BR>I want to be happy again<BR>I want to not see OW's face in my head every second of the day<BR>I want to accept the past and move on and create a bright future for my family<BR>I want my children to have a 2-parent family<BR>I want to live my life to the fullest and not look back<BR>I want my best friend, my husband, back<BR>I want to look in my husband's eyes and KNOW he is telling me the truth.<BR>I want to believe in my husband<BR>I want to stop crying<BR>I want to stop feeling like trash all the time<BR>I want a husband who appreciates me and realizes the pain I have endured for him and my family<BR>I want OW OUT OF MY LIFE, even if that means sending my husband out of my life as well<BR>I want to be the most important woman in my husband's life<BR>I want my husband to finish college and reach his dreams<BR>I want to learn how to stop being so controlling<BR>I want a husband who is committed to me<BR>I want a husband who cares more about my feelings than he does OW's<BR>I want a husband who is willing to open up and expose his innermost feelings to me<BR>I want a husband who accepts my innermost thoughts, even if he does not agree with them<BR>I want a husband who loves me and wants to be with me<BR>I want a husband that wants to be married to me<BR>I want a husband who includes me in his plans and is not ashamed of me<BR>I want a husband who thinks I'm beautiful and sexy<BR>I want a husband who realizes when he is wrong and is willing to make amends for his wrongdoings<BR>I want a husband who will tell me when I am wrong so that I may change and become a better person<BR>I want a husband who will eat his pride for me and me only<BR>I want a husband who loves his children and is willing to give up everything for their wellbeing<BR>I want a husband who respects me<BR>I want a husband who is willing to tell the truth, even if it means admitting he was wrong<BR>I want a husband who is willing to do everything in his power to make our marriage one we both want to live in<BR>I want a husband who accepts I like to help him and stops me when I take this too far <BR>I want a husband who is there for me when I need him<BR>I want a husband who is willing to tell me when he needs me<BR>I want a husband that does not take me for granted<BR>I want a husband that does not hold his feelings back until it is too late<BR>I want a husband that is willing to affair-proof our marriage, from both ends<BR>I want a husband that is willing to make and take sacrifices for the sake of our family<BR>I want a husband who realizes who much I appreciate and love him, even if I do not show it often enough or in the wrong way<BR>I want a husband who is willing to do whatever it takes to get what he wants and stops running away, even if that means hurting me, our family, or OW<BR>I want a husband who appreciates that I try my hardest, even if I do not always do what is right or expected<BR>I want a husband who understands that I still appreciate and respect him even when I do not agree with what he does or how he does it<BR>I want this whole thing to be overwith<BR>I want someone to hold me in the middle of the night as I sleep<BR>I don't want my old life back, I want to create a new life, new hopes, new dreams that include both me and my husband<BR>I want a husband that does not badmouth me to our friends

I've been where you ladies are at right now. I think I retreat back there every now and then too, even though H and I are in recovery.<P>But you know what strikes me the most? I would bet that you could replace most (if not all?) of YOUR wants with your H's wants. <P>Use your lists to help guide you in your Plan A's. More likely than not, your H wants the same things you want. Show him how you can give it to him. Use your knowledge and strength from this website. "Do unto [your H] as you would have [your H] do unto you". <P>Karen<BR>

Thank you, Karen! that's what I needed to hear!!! <P>I saw this thread, and I wanted to think of something to add so bad... I want so many things, just like you gals listed, but I couldn't think of anything I really WANT bad enough to put in writing tonight!!! Or I couldn't think of anything without feeling .. i don't know... selfish??? (Not that I think you gals are selfish - it's just how I was feeling about trying to post something myself tonight) <P>I want the best for me.<BR>I want the best for my H.<P>Karen, I think you defined my hesitation for not wanting to feel "selfish". What a great idea and a wonderful perspective on filling my H's needs!!! Thank you! I'm going now to make a list of my H's wants and keep it handy. <BR><P>------------------<BR>Faith1<P>"Then Jesus answered, 'Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.'"<BR>Matt 15:28