Recently, last week, my parents came to visit. I had not seen them since christmas last year and DDay was March 01. I found that The whole time they were visiting I was being triggered. I had talked in breif detail with them about the A, W was WS, shortly after I had found out. Nothing too extensive as I didn't want them to get negative towards W. Basically all they really know is that there was an A and that it's over. <BR>Until yesterday when W and I had a long talk I was triggering. I was back there, DDay, feeling everthing again. My self esteem hit rock bottom, I was getting angry again. I was getting lost in deppression again. This is the second time this has happened. The first time actually involved my recall of childhood sexual abuse perpetrated by my brother. In recalling the incidents I experienced the same feelings and within a short time was back at DDAy again. I talked to my W yesterday and realized that I had no reason to feel this way. SHE had done nothing to cause me to slide back there. I was triggered the moment I said hello to my mom and hugged her. When I hugged her I felt safe, like I was a child again and hurt and mom was there and all that I've been battling came up, probably because I felt safe. I had to stop hugging her because I would have broken down. Mom never knew this, I didn't want her to know, that I had triggered at that moment. The rest of their visit was uneventful and we didn't discuss any of the A or the last 5 months of my life. We just had a nice visit but I was already triggered and didn't know why at the tiime. Now, because my W pointed this out, I know that when I get down, get triggered I revert back to the hurt of DDay and all that goes with it. A revelation!! Next time I should be able to connect it all and stop it before it gets too bad.<P>So now I'm OK. Back to good. Back to working on us without doubts or reservations. Able to put everything (those memories) away where they belong. <P>My question is; can any one tell me when the triggering stops, does it ever? Is there any one else that has experienced this seemingly unrelated triggering. Does feeling down for whatever reason take us back? And how do you deal with it. Every time it happens our recovery is put on hold and possibly even damaged. <P>At least now, through my W's observation I am aware that when I get triggered I revert back to DDay, post DDay feelings. Any input would be very much appreciated. My W and I are moving so much in the right direction I want to keep it that way.<P>Fred<P>

You've heard it here before; Time, Patience, Consistency. IMO, I don't think the triggers will disappear entirely, but they WILL surface with greater intervals inbetween.<P>My triggers in regards to my H's A's tend to come from on here, however, I refuse to stop MBing. I find that when I read stories that are very similar to my own experience, I am able to feel less and less hurt each time. My H and I have been in recovery for just over 2 months now.<P>As far as other triggers in my life go (remembering some things about my son Andrew who passed away Sept 11, 2000), I do my best to figure them out ahead of time. For example, I went to a family reunion last weekend. Last year, Andrew was with us. For the last few months, I thought a lot about things that happened last year, and tried to anticipate ahead of time what things I would see that would 'set me back'. It worked. I had only one unsuspected trigger that brought me back to the morning I found him (it was something I could never have anticipated ahead of time). I was able to walk away, and was fine for the rest of the day.<P>Karen<BR>

Karen,<P>I'm so sorry. I can't begin to comprehend the year you've had and I admire the strength that it must takefor you to share this with me. I read what you wrote and felt it, the sadness. You are in my prayers<P>Hugs

Thank you for considering me to be 'strong'. But I like to look at it more as ' I'm healing' by talking about him. <P>Do you think there's a way you could work on anticipating triggers ahead of time? Because it really can soften the blow.<P>Karen<BR>