I feel so horrible...I haven't slept the last two nights. I can't get things off my mind....worry. I worry about WH and myself. How can I cope with this?<P>I talked to State's Attorney yesterday. After I got off the phone I felt sick, mentally, emotionally and physically. H did this, not me, I did file charges. I feel so bad for him. I felt I had no choice, that I had to stand up for my rights. I don't know how I'm going to get through this without losing it. This was a result of his actions, criminal charges. No attorney has been entered yet to represent him(not good). The court hearing is about a month from now, not much time. It's doubtful H has finances to obtain an attorney. <P>It's beyond my comprehension to even fathom what H has done and is doing. This is excessively bizarre and self-destructive. He has to be extremely distressed with all this torment and turmoil(I am). I can't even imagine what he must be going through. Is OW worth throwing his life away? Is it worth ruining our marriage and everything?<P>I know this is his choices he has made, so what could I do about it? I feel there is nothing I can do. It's terribly agonizing to me. It's tearing me apart, it's gut wrenching. <P>Than I look at what he has done to me. It's apparent H doesn't care what happens to me. He is too worried about himself and OW. I wonder if he ever even thinks of me in any positive aspect? I know the charges are a big LB. This is horrendously hard to deal with. <P>I know I have to take care of ME. It's difficult to get out of the mind set of thinking about his welfare. I never wanted to be his enemy, as it appears I have become. I HATE what this has become.<P>May God Give Me Strength and May God Bless Us All <P>

HW,<P>I am so sorry to hear of the pain you are in. You knew this would be hard before you filed the charges. But that knowledge does not make it any easier to handle.<P>In the middle of all this turmoil in your life perhaps you could start doing things that concentrate on you. Things that will make you feel better. If you have not already done so, see a doctor about depression. This has been going on for several months. I’ve noticed from you postings that you do seem to be depressed. As for sleep ask about something to help you sleep, or use benadryl as a sleep aide. Then do the things that help calm a person – every time something about your situation comes to mind redirect your thoughts to something positive; get some exercise daily (even a 30 minute walk would help), drink some warm milk before bed (add vanilla and little sugar – it works great for my kids); find a good book to read so you can get lost in that world instead of your own; make dates with friends and then spend most of the time talking about them or house decorating or gardening – anything but your problems. <P>Don’t know if this helps but I know that when I’m in the middle of something that is emotionally heavy I always need a reminder to do the little things that might make me feel better. <P>Z<P><BR><P>------------------<BR>He loves not who does not show love.<BR>----William Shakespeare