Hello,<P>D Day was 13 April. My H said that the affair had lasted 2 months and had finished at the end of March. I later found out, in May, that they were still in contact over the telephone and he admitted that he is having trouble getting over OW because he fell in love with her. Meanwhile, he continues to make plans for our new house which we moved into in March (Yes, half way through the affair). The other day he was talking about long term imorovements which we could make to the house, but three days earlier, he was talking about leaving. Someone one here in one of my other posts said he was probably still in the fog. I only found this sight last week and have really only started plan A from a few days ago. It looks as though prior to that I was committing loads of LBs (which is probably why he nearly left the other day. Anyway, I'm determined to give plan A my best shot, but in other people's experiences, how long does the WS stay "in a fog" after the affair?

Clearing of the fog... varies from situation to situation. Gee, that helps, doesn't it? For real, though, depending on the length of the marriage, the severity of the problems before the A, how deep the EA and PA relationship was, the length of the A, your Plan A, ... so many factors. Harley recommends a good 3-6 month Plan A, then if the A is still going on after 6 months, move to Plan B. Read everything you can about Plan A, including His Needs, Her Needs, Surviving an Affair, and LoveBusters. Have you read those yet?<P>Personally, my H seems to be coming out of the fog a little. I haven't committed a LB in 1 month, so I consider that my solid Plan A. I attempted Plan A for about a month beofre that - weak attempt. We're separated right now, but H is very friendly now, and I think the A is really over- he talks about being bored at night.<P>Be sure you are fulfilling as many EN"s as possible - without smothering him. And avoid LB's - have you written them down? <P>Plan A really works, but it mainly helps you become a better person and feel good about yourself. DOn't expect too much from your H right now. Make sure you communicate in a non-LB way to write a no-contact letter. Don't nag him about it - bring it up only about once a week.<P>Hope that helps a little.