MARRIED 10YRS, SEPARATED 7 MONTHS, D-DAY 6.5 MONTHS. 2 SONS 7 & 9 YRS. <P>HUSBAND (WS) TOLD ME LAST NIGHT THAT HE AND OW HAVE BROKEN UP. SHE TOLD H THAT SHE FELT LIKE THEY WERE MARRIED BECAUSE THEY WERE ALWAYS TOGETHER AND THATS NOT WHAT SHE WANTED. SHE TOLD HIM THAT THEY COULD DATE 2 TIMES A WEEK BUT H WANTED MORE. HE PRESSURED HER INTO CHOSING HIS WAY IN THE RELATIONSHIP OR NOTHING AND SHE TOLD HIM TO GO HOME TO YOUR WIFE AND CHILDREN.<P>I TOLD HIM I WAS SORRY FOR HIS PAIN AND THAT I WAS THERE IF HE WANTED TO TALK.<P>WE TALKED FOR HOURS LAST NIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING. HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH OW AND WHAT IT HAS DONE TO HIM,ME AND OUR SONS. I DID NOT ASK HIM TO COME HOME. I DID TELL HIM ABOUT 1 MONTH AGO THAT I WAS WILLING TO SEE IF MARRIAGE WAS WORTH SAVING. HE NOW TELLS ME THAT HE IS CONFUSED AND STILL LOVES OW. NOT SURE IF SHE WOULD COME BACK TO HIM OR IF HE WOULD GO BACK TO HER. HE CALLED AFTER HE GOT HOME AND SAID HE WAS NOT SURE IF HE WANTS TO WORK ON MARRIAGE OR NOT.<P>MY HUSBAND SAT THERE AND CRIED FOR WHAT HE HAS DONE TO OUR CHILDREN. HE SAID HE REALLY NEEDED TO SEE THEM YESTERDAY(IT IS MY WEEKEND WITH THE KIDS BUT LET HIM COME OVER TO SEE THEM ANYWAY). THOUGHT THEY WOULD MAKE HIM FEEL BETTER. HE THANKED ME OVER AND OVER AGAIN FOR BEING THERE FOR HIM.<P>SO WHAT'S NEXT? I KNOW DON'T GET MY HOPES UP. LET HIM GET THRU WITHDRAW. AND PLAN A PLAN A PLAN A. RIGHT?

I don't know what's next cause I haven't been there. Just be patient and take it one day at a time and keep taking care of yourself.<P>

You're exactly right...<P>Plan A... Plan A... and more Plan A...<BR>...throw in a dash of honesty (your needs mentioned too)<P> <P>Jim<P>PS: try not typing in all CAPS (that is Internet ettiquette for "yelling")<BR>

Hi MilRobDol:<P>This could be the best news you've heard in a long time or just another incline in the roller coaster you're being taken up to be plunged right down again. So take it slow whatever happens and don't expect much (surprised NSR (Jim) didn't tell you that...its his line).<P>This is one for the books however...an OW that thinks WH is spending "too much time with them"...makes you wonder how serious she is about the whole thing. <P>You really did a good job of handling this...and of being there for him...keep up your Plan A...because I'll bet its a good one and it will soon bear fruit.<P>By the way, welcome to MB...sorry you have to be here...but we'll try to make the situation easier on you.<P>Faye<BR>

Thanks for the replies. Just a quick question. I haven't spoke to H since Friday night,should I call and see how he's making out or just wait till he calls or stops by on Monday to see our sons?

Well the breakup didn't last that long now did it? They are on speaking terms H goes over to her house and they talk. H says they are not a couple now. The relationship is different. He just can't explain how. He said there were some issues that need to be worked out and they are going to see where it goes from there.<BR>I thanked him for letting me make a fool of myself when I tried to console him over the break up.<BR>He told me that he wants the relationship with OW to work out so I asked "Are you then telling me that you don't want to see if our marriage is worth saving?"and his response was I didn't say that.<BR>Oh please help me my head is spinning.

Hiya ~<P>Sweetie, time to slow down and PLAN A!!!!!! <P>My H went through a number of similar breakups and fights with his OW. Sounds like death throes to me, but it may resurrect itself a few times before dying altogether.<P>Let your H go, don't pressure him about your marriage. Just take one day at a time, this problem doesn't have to be solved today! Obviously your H has a few more lessons he has to learn.<P>Just work on looking like a very good, if not better alternative to the OW. Keep your head held high, and do what it takes to be a better you. The A isn't over, but its headed that way - it may take a few months yet.<P>(((((((((((hugs))))))))))))<P><BR>------------------<BR><I>Pain is a given, misery is optional.</I><p>[This message has been edited by BrambleRose (edited August 19, 2001).]

You know Rose,I sit back try to relax but it seems like everyday lately the rug gets pulled out from under me and I fall on my A##.