Am I out of the closet so to speak, not really just couldn't sign my message to Dave without my name, you know it wasn't a post but a ..... I can't think what I am saying but concern for a friend type of thing,....<P>Thanks for the offer of the web site. don't really email men, but doesn't your wife read yours which would be fine but thought I explain my church dilema<P>not looking to change churches just congergations, will admit without the boys I am not as faithful as I have always been. the past 2 yrs took a toll on my faith not for the better.<P>I think my main problem is/was more with my former congergation, not so much how the leadership dealt with our problems, actually they really didn't deal with but my H can rub people the wrong way, & everyone was afrid (me most of all) that they would make things worst.<P>Then I had this idea that if we kept going to church together that everthing would be all right in the end (boy was I wrong), so before we left for Sing last yr every Sun we went to a church off the Southwest Freeway near the toll road in Meadow's Place. We tended to try avoid all contact with others how do you explain that you attended a church for 17yrs why you were looking for another one, <P>Anyway for over 8 mths this what we did about, the boys & were still attending old congergation on Sunday nights & most Wed, till bball pratice & my work just took a toll on us then about 6 wks into this plan, I recieved a letter from my elders that really ticked me off, I let 2 of them know, except for a message on my answerig machine I never heard from them...<P>Then a few wks later OS had a major reaction to Actutane, instead of making acne better, it made it worse, I mean worse, he wouldn't go anywhere he didn't have to go, so he refuse to go to church Sun nights, plus if we stayed at home, H would usually stay longer at the house (he was still living in his apt) & thought the more he was away from OW the better<P>But you know after going to someplace for 17 yrs no one really missed us, my sons Sunday School teachers did call, the youth leaders (they were both close friends) didn't bother, a few events they made sure OS knew about but I felt like no one care. it really bothered me that the church leaders let us slip away.<P>Last summer before we left H wrote a letter to the church asking for forgivness, & he recieved almost no support, I truly believe he was sincere & if he had recieved support maybe things would had been different<P>also before we left a younger couple in the congergation had problems, the guy had an A, I felt so bad, I had been meaning to let the church leaders know how much I thought they need to provde marriage building programs & I had chicken out. I write this letter, that came from my heart, addressed some of my problems with them letting them know why my children & I had slipped away, how I felt I had been abondanded etc, I never had a reply. I tried again & didn't get any replies till they thought I might stay, then they fell all over themsleves trying to get in contact with me<P>When we returned here my OS went to church there some, but now he want go, even though he did go to camp withthem for a few days<P>The leaders have contacted me & let me know they are here for me, everyone has been kind but it so hard to sit in a building where you were a couple for 17 yrs, my H was so repescted, <P>So the church that I do attend so what has a great minster, he is very easy to listen too, but I am still avoiding meeting people. I am at peace with things but I don't feel comfortable with people yet.<P>I was doing better till I didn't get a teaching job, knew I wouldn't as I got here to late, took to long to get enrolled to show those 6 hrs but I am down since then.<P>Mon we go to court for the 1st time, I know I filed but there are times I still can't believe I am getting a divorce<P>Can't believe ya'll were out on the bikes at noon, my son loved when fball went to the afternoons, Mon is the last day of morning pratice till noonish but they are now in pads<P>I spent the day on the screened in porch looking at the pool with a fan going.<P>sorry for the bk, not editing so I hope this makes sense<P>the astros needs some pitching tonight

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by sing:<BR><B>Am I out of the closet so to speak, not really...<BR><HR></BLOCKQUOTE></B><BR>I hear you. I'll refrain from using your name unless you decide to.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><B><BR>don't really email en, but doesn't your wife read yours which would be fine<HR></BLOCKQUOTE></B><BR>I tell her about it...she only reads it if I print it out to discuss something with her, but I have a standing offer for her to read anything she wants. If you want to sometime, you can always establish a yahoo or hotmail account and just use it once and then cancel it<P><B> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><BR>not looking to change churches just congergations, will admit without the boys I am not as faithful as I have always been. the past 2 yrs took a toll on my faith not for the better.<BR></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><BR>I hear this too. When my W gets enthusiastic about spiritual things I feel pain knowing that she was teaching Sunday school while betraying me. However, God didn't betray me, a human did.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><B><BR>I think my main problem is/was more with my former congergation, not so much how the leadership dealt with our problems, actually they really didn't deal with...<BR><HR></BLOCKQUOTE></B><BR>I think that most just don't know what to do...too many are willing to ignore or sweep things under the rug.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><B><BR>before we left for Sing last yr every Sun we went to a church off the Southwest Freeway near the toll road in Meadow's Place. We tended to try avoid all contact with others how do you explain that you attended a church for 17yrs why you were looking for another one, <BR><HR></BLOCKQUOTE></B><BR>Don't get over that way enough to know exactly which one that is, but I understand the discomfort.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><B><BR>I recieved a letter from my elders that really ticked me off, I let 2 of them know, except for a message on my answerig machine I never heard from them...<BR></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><BR>Typical of too many...either butt in a non-helpful, heavy handed way, or conflict avoidance.<P><B> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><BR>But you know after going to someplace for 17 yrs no one really missed us, my sons Sunday School teachers did call, the youth leaders (they were both close friends) didn't bother, a few events they made sure OS knew about but I felt like no one care. it really bothered me that the church leaders let us slip away.<BR></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><BR>sing, I'm sorry it was this way, that's really unfortunate. You know, most things in life take maintenance. With a Christian perspective you might say that it's the result of the fall, but anyway relationships also take maintenance. Not only marriage, but other relationships take work. Too bad they didn't want to make the effort to reach out.<P><B> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><BR>Last summer before we left H wrote a letter to the church asking for forgivness, & he recieved almost no support, I truly believe he was sincere & if he had recieved support maybe things would had been different<BR></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><BR>Wow, don't know what to say here.<P><B> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><BR>So the church that I do attend so what has a great minster, he is very easy to listen too, but I am still avoiding meeting people. I am at peace with things but I don't feel comfortable with people yet.<BR></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><BR>I think going to small groups really helps here, but understand that it will take time before you feel like getting close to people.<P>I actually went out later than my W; we like to ride together, but OS spent the night with a friend and YS is too young to stay by himself, so I went later and it was hot!<P>The Astros didn't get the pitching--what good does it do to lead the league in homers if you lead it in giving them up? However, the Cubs lost also.<P>Take care, I hope that you don't feel too down.<P>Steve