Thanks for your reply. You made alot of sense.<BR>What is your current status. Is your H back at home? Or is he with the home wrecker?

Hi Still,<P>H is home. Yes, this is the 3rd time. Very fresh at the moment so other than posting tidbits on other threads, I have not put out my story yet. H came home last Monday. There are daily changes. As usual with my situation, there is never a dull moment and OW continues to be crazy. She is basically a desparate woman who wants a man. She even wanted to give us concert tickets she bought for her and H. I did not want to even touch them and H knew that and told Ow so. Don't want to be indebit to that person. <P>Anyway, I will be happy to help you out whenever I can. Just let me know. <P>Take Care,<BR>L.<BR>

Thanks Orchid<P>I've been reading here at least for 3 mos. I remember some of what you've been through. It seems like you've been through hell and back, but yet you manage to counsel others while hurting. I commend you for that. What made you so strong? When was your D-day? I hope your H realizes what he has.<P>God-Bless

Hi Still,<P>I wouldn't call it counsel. Just sharing my thoughts and experiences. Ah yes and sometimes insights. <P>I have been here since end of Jan 01. D/d 11/22/00. A with this one has been on since end of Aug 2000. H was seeing massage palor type for sex since Sept 99. His trigger was loss of self-esteem, many job changes, major money loss on the stock market (day trader). Combined with possible bi-polar disorders (run in his family) and feelings of worthlessness, these contributed to his demise. <BR>Also a non-communicative person (with family members) and conflict avoider. <P>H thought, I did not love him (SF is a high EN but he claims it is affection). I was busy trying to help my family survive. Hight debit incurred by the above items, etc made me work around the clock. H did not help around the house much and only when requested. Even then not much. <P>All in all, it was an excuse to play. H eventually found out that I really did love him but by that time this EA/PA thing with Psyco Babble had taken root and he found it hard to let go. She did a number on him and helped him turn against me. Only when he realized the problem was himself that he started healing. That though, took time (about 5 months). 5 long months and still has a ways to go. In that time, I became pregnant, OW claimed to be pregnant (for the 2nd time - with no proof) and both are no longer pregnant. I miscarried at 10 weeks, OW claimed to miscarry also but again with no proof. <P>My personal strength comes from many sources:<P>1. Inner strength - I value and respect myself as a person. <BR> I know I have my limits and am comfortable in the <BR> knowledge that I am doing my best. I know I can get<BR> better and am open to 'constructive criticism' but <BR> refuse to deal with destructive manipulative talk. <P>2. Personal relationship with God - While this could always<BR> be improved. I know that my personal beliefs have helped<BR> along with praying for a clear mind and calm heart. Has<BR> God helped me? Yes, while not removing my problem, he<BR> has helped me cope with it. Bible reading, attending my<BR> meetings and personal study has helped me stay <BR> focused. <P>3. Stregthening my personal support group of family, <BR> friends and counselors. At the same time asking them<BR> to respect my decisions. This has been relatively easy<BR> up until recently. Many are getting tired of how long<BR> all of this is being drawn out. Even his family.<P>4. Being here at MB, understanding the basic concepts, <BR> learning about plan A vs plan B. Emotional needs, etc. <BR> Posting my questions and concerns here on these sites. <BR> I visited the GQII, Divorcing/divorced, Prg/child, plan<BR> A/b and recovery sites. I have learned a lot from <BR> the people here. I don't take what is said as set in<BR> stone but learn to recognize what is beneficial and<BR> use it. <P>Hope this info has been helpful. It has helped me. <P>Take Care,<BR>L.<BR> <BR> <BR> <BR>