Dear Anyone who cares,<BR> I'm mostly a lurker here. Just read the question about sleep meds. I haven't had much trouble sleeping since D-day, June 12. I turned a corner tonight in that I let it go and finally gave up control. I'm in plan A; counseling with Steve. H first session is tomorrow afternoon. Pretty sure he's 'decided' to leave me for OW even though he loves me, thinks I'm wonderful and terrific, and is proud of me. (He hasn't been able to make a real decision in a year.) <BR> So all of a sudden I can't sleep. Am I worried about our 4 children losing their dad and hero? Am I worried that he will sink us deeper into debt for a struggling business? Am I worried that I can't be a single mom, and run our business full time and deal with his mid-life crisis at the same time? <BR> Also, how soon is too soon to see a lawyer? Not for a divorce because I don't believe in divorce. But to protect both of us from this alien who has taken over my husband's body. How should I go about this? <BR> I hope someone is out there.<P>------------------<BR>Rejoice in hope, endure in affliction, persevere in prayer. Romans 12:12

Are you still here?<P>{{{{{{{{{lovemyhusband}}}}}}}}}<P>How can you be sure your H has decided? Have you been doing plan A for the past year? Have you two had any other counselling?<P>About your questions... First, take a deep breath. Now take another. Keep doing this until your heart rate goes back to normal.<P>Okay, money - is there anything you can do about segregating your money and his? Have you checked your bank accounts to make sure that there isn't anything missing? Perhaps you should protect yourself on this front as much as possible.<P>Lawyer - it is never too soon to see a lawyer to ask for information on what the law provides for and how your specific situation would likely turn out in terms of property division, possession of the house, alimony, child support, things you can do to protect yourself now. Try to see a lawyer who has come recommended. If you can't, pick two or three and make an appointment for today, ask if they have a free first consultation or work on a contingency basis (as you will not need to spend any money right now). Do some research on the ones you meet and don't stop looking for a lawyer until you have found one you like (and who has a good reputation). Tell each of them you do not want to officially retain their services yet, but tell them you will call when you need to go that route.<P>Losing their dad - if he is any kind of father at all, he will want to see his children. While it is not ideal, I have seen many, many families work out custody and access very well, with the children having lots of time with both parents. Yes, it would hurt the children and might take a while for things to be okay. Have you thought of making an appointment with a psychologist who works with marriage breakdowns to discuss how you can best prepare your kids if what you suspect does happen? Whatever you do, make sure your kids know that they are safe and secure with you and that you would never abandon them.<P>I am so sorry that I can't do more to help you tonight! <P>------------------<BR>Never give up. Never, never give up.<BR>~ Winston Churchill

Thanks for the advice. H was to have an appt with Steve today. Don't know if he called. Mine's tomorrow am. Lots of questions for him.<P>------------------<BR>Rejoice in hope, endure in affliction, persevere in prayer. Romans 12:12