WH is going to move out tonight. In a strange way I'm looking forward to it. I don't know why? Maybe I'm tired of the situation. My biggest fear is the children asking questions and crying for daddy. Anyway WH wants to know from "me" if we can still have sex? What should I say. I fear that if I say NO he will go to OW for it. I also fear that by H moving out, it will open the door for OW to make her moves...She really does try, too!!

M&J:<P>How long have you known about the affair? How long (and good) has your plan A been?

H told me last September about A.<BR>We've struggled since then. She is trying to win him over by being present out on the street in front of our house and other attempts to get his attention. <BR>I've been plan Aing for about two month's and he responds to it. It's as if no A ever took place. I mean we get along great. He wants to move out because he thinks that, that will help him to over come her and see what he would be missing if he lost me. You see she lives in our neighborhood and is constantly within sight unless she is at work. Perhaps I should ask him if his idea of moving out is to avoid her. Maybe he doesn't trust himself to come home from work alone. Or be alone around the house, for fear of her appearing. OR H could be "snowing" me!? We have separated before for a temporary time (2 weeks) and he begged me to move back in. Seperation was for other reasons not A. Please read my other thread I posted today, "HELP...my H confessed again "<p>[This message has been edited by M&J (edited August 13, 2001).]

M&J<P>I certainly think that relocation could help your recovery---if you get to that stage.<P>Based on your plan A period, I'd suggest that you stick with it for another month, even if he's living separately. This will give the OW an opportunity to meet his needs---but you can't stop that. If you're uncomfortable with the sex issue, then let him know that in a respectful way.<P>In about a month, if he's still out of the house, I would then consider delivering a Plan B letter. At that point, he'll know that you want the marriage---but you can't stand being subjected to this behavior every day. Plan B is more effective (IMO) when it's delivered on your timeframe---not as the result of some action that the wayward spouse has taken (because then it can be mistaken for "punishment").