As you all know, the W and I spent a lot of time together this weekend. This came on the heels of a night in which we itemized our belongings and talked about her A during this time many tears were shed. Because it looked like she was getting our dog, I bought one this weekend for myself. My W just called me up and wanted to come by and let the dogs play at our house. I told her that would be great and I would get some take out lunch for us (meeting EN's) She then called back and asked if I could bring my new dog to her rental house b/c she had to meet a plumber. She gave me directions and I told her that I would get some lunch and come by around 2pm. <P>I do not know what to make of this, is she being nice so I will not tell the doc's wife?<P>Is she being nice so I will give her half of everything and she will save atty fees?<P>Is she just being nice because she is sincere?<P>Is the doc putting her up to this?<P>PLEASE TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD DO????????????<BR>

GDC,<P> If I were you I would go. But, I would go with a guarded heart. You can't know what her intentions are. When you go turn on the Plan A really hard. <P>Indy

that's a tuffy....<BR>I am just like you, reading into everything that seems to shed even the slightest amount of hope on the situation. My Wife, (BS turned WS) actually says at the end of our time together..."this doesn't mean anything, in the big picture this doesn't change the fact that I don't love you anymore"...OUCH!!! Stop explaining PLEASE!!<P>I would love to say that it means she is wanting to meet your emotional needs, that she sees hope, that she might want everything to be okay...Did you say she is still in an A? If so, the fog is very cloudy, she is probably doing something that will sustain her needs and isn't thinking about yours. <BR>If she's not in the affair...then there is a good chance that maybe she's coming out of the fog and things are looking up<BR>

Yes, you should go. Plan A plan A plan A. I'll get back on my Quit Expecting soapbox . Plan A is about you demonstrating changes for the better. For you. And hopefully our WS's notice, and decide to give the marriage another shot.<P>I know you have all those questions. I have them too. We will drive ourselves crazy trying to answer them. Perhaps she is just being nice. period. Or perhaps it's one of those other reasons. It doesn't matter though, you still do your best Plan A.<P> let us know how it goes.

MH and F1,<P>Thanks for the replys. I guess I do not have anything else to do other then Plan A still. So much has happened in the last few days that it's driving me crazy. An emotional rollorcoaster. I feel like sometimes she is really serious and may want to get back then other times it's the same old thing. <P>MH, to answer your question about the A? I have to believe that she is still in it. I checked her cell bill today through the 4th of this month and there were pages to him as late as 7-30. I can almost pin point the times the have met. It seems like a flurry of pages on certain days and I have been keeping a journal, so I know where she was. <P>I also checked her cell phone memory yesterday and he was in there. He wasn't 4 weeks ago, but now he is. His initials are in there along with the number. I did not confront her on this either. The odd thing is that she has made no calls to his cell. I guess it's for her convenience to use the caller id to see his number when he calls.

Well I forgot to say that I did go by her place. It was kind of nice old, but ok. No as nice as our place (thank goodness) and financially, it will be tough on her. She will not be living as good as she was with me, I don't think. Anyway, I brought her lunch and we ate and talked about the dogs and stuff. She asked me if I felt weird coming over there and I really didn't reply much. I stayed about an hour and left and she just dropped off Zeus to come over and play with Memphis. Wouldn't it be cool if the dogs were the link that brings us together??

I can't make out why she is all of a sudden being nice to me. We have talked about seperation agreements recently and gotten the A out on the table. I may need to talk to Steve and get his input. What is going on? She came ove last night before her class and dropped off our dog to play with our new dog. She went by the dept. store after class and picked up some things for her and got me a toothbrush holder like the one he took to her new place. We had an easy dinner together and she left. It has been pleasant to say the least and we have been getting along great. We actually have been hugging each time we leave each other and that is nice. Gosh, how I would love to kiss her just once. What is she doing? Do I trust this? Do you think the doc is putting her up to it? or has he called it off? probably not. Anybody have any ideas??<P>GC