In light of Miss Priss's trip to the hospital today, I would like to ask everyone this question:<P>HOW do you handle "real" emergencies? I mean, MP COULD have been DYING at the hospital? They couldn't find her WH, or maybe he just didn't care enough?<P>I asked this question over the week-end...I have a procedure coming up to go through, that I wish my H was here for....but not sure how to ask him....Faith, I DID read your reply, and I probably WILL do that. Though today I doubt I want to ever talk to him again!<P>BUT, here's another problem. There seems to be a leak in the pipes of our new house. Well, it's not new. Just new to us. It was a HUD house, we remodeled it, moved in, and 2 weeks later, H moved OUT. NOW, I heard water moving in the pipes this morning before work (no, there's no insurance against things like this - it was a HUD house, you get what you buy, period). Plumber just left here, and indeed, SOMETHING is wrong....oh joy. NOW I've got to pay for the plumber to RIP UP our new plumbing, new walls, and tile floors to fix the DA*N thing!! WHERE THE F**K is H???? WHY isn't he here dealing with this, too????<P>YES!!! I'm venting......I am TRYING to give him his precious "SPACE" and let the FOG CLEAR OUT OF HIS F**KING HEAD......I'm just furious here, tho. I DON"T HAVE THE MONEY for this sh*T. I don't know if he'll even CARE if I call/write (WHATEVER) and tell him about this. I know he doesn't have the money to LOAN ME (should be OUR money, OUR house, OUR problem) to get this fixed. WHY doesn't he have the money?????? Cause he's freaking IN A FOG and hasn't worked since he left here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <BR>Homeowner's insurance won't cover it until it FLOODS and damages something (translation: everything new). Fun.<P>How the h@ll do you handle *major* problems (REAL ONES!, like Priss's hospital scare) during the WS's DEPARTURE and QUEST FOR *TRUE LOVE*???? What the h@ll is supposed to happen to real life in the meantime?????? Is it supposed to take a vacation???????<P>Remember, I'm venting. I would LOVE to call him and say all this, so instead, YOU ALL get to hear it!! Arent' ya proud of me? :roll eyes:<P>Lupo

Hi Lupolady. Yes I know it really does S***! Why not have the plumber send him the bill (ha ha) that should get a response from him. Do you know anyone that has any plumbing experience a friend or relative that can help you out? A few weeks ago I had a leak under the kitchen sink and I was so overwhelmed but did not want to call my H so I called a friend and he talked me through it. I was so proud of myself. Sorry I don't have much advice for you. Seems like when it rains it pours! In response to your question my H is very good as far as coming over to fix thins or being there when an emergency arises. I just can't figure him out otherwise! Hang in there!<BR>cybil<BR>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Why not have the plumber send him the bill (ha ha) that should get a response from him. Do you know anyone that has any plumbing experience a friend or relative that can help you out? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I WISH I could!!! HA!! That WOULD get a rise out of him, wouldn't it???<P>Seriously, I doubt he would do anything about it. He's letting HIS OWN bills go to SH** right now, so he's not gonna care about this one... <P>Secondly, this is gonna be MAJOR. I know. We went through something very similar to this when we lived w/in-laws (mine, not his) a few years ago. They had a pipe burst under the house, and the plumber had to rip up the whole entire DR floor! Of course, theirs was paid for by Homeowner's Ins. Mine would, too, if I waited for it to "damage something" according to the ins. co. Great. <P>I doubt mine will "be good about..." this or anything, since he basically has "washed his hands" of our home, our any type of life. In div. papers he had atty draw up, he essentially GAVE me the house, and everything left here after he left. Sooo, I don't know what to expect when he finds out about any of this. IF he's still in the fog, he won't even care if the whole house floods and gets washed away. This is what is so hard. I don't have a CLUE about his mental state of being about all of this, and me. <P>Talk about rejection.<P>L<BR>

There is nothing different about your situation with the plumbing than with any of the other crap you're dealing with. You have to do what is best for you. You cannot rely on your H right now. So don't even waste your energy on wishing how much he should help... because he won't. Just do yourself a favour and do NOT expect him to help in any way. That way, if he doesn't, then you've protected yourself ahead of time.<P>This situation is hitting close to home. I was icqing with Miss Priss earlier on today, and I told her about how my H wasn't around when I was heading to surgery for an emergency c-section to have the twins. This man (if he should be referred to that at the time), the one who was so concerned about the babies, and wanted to be there so badly to see them born... didn't even have the courtesy to answer his cell phone! Yes. CELL PHONE! And it's not like I called only once. Okay.. it was only twice.. about 10 minutes apart after leaving a message the first time. But when he had ample opportunity to hear the message and didn't answer the phone the 2nd time I called, I requested that he stay away from the hospital and that I would call him later.<P>Oh ya... I got the story AFTER they were born, that his car broke down. Funny... it never broke down before that night, and hasn't broken down since. Hmmm... interesting? NOT! Where was he? More likely than not, with OW#1. I had found some of their icq logs talking about their date they were planning for Feb 17, 2001. <P>We're in recovery now.. but I obviously have a LOT of anger towards him from that night. We talked a little bit about it earlier on this week actually, and again it's no surprise to know that he doesn't remember where he was that night. I sure as hell remember the details of the story he gave me at the time (the street name that the car broke down, the time frame, etc).. but I didn't want to end up arguing about something that's over with. We can't change the fact that he wasn't there for the birth of the twins. It's something HE has to deal with. I figure it'll hit him the most years from now when the kids find out he wasn't there. You know they'll ask why. <P>Sorry for venting in your thread.. but I really needed to get that out again! <P>My only suggestion to you right now, would be to move any valuables out of the bottom floor. Some things just can't be replaced with money. If the pipes go, they go. As you said, insurance will cover it. If there's a plumber out there who will work out a payment plan, then maybe you can find him/her? grin. Heck, dentists do it, so why not plumbers? <P>Karen

I have called my H once at the OW's house, where he is living, in the last 2.5 years, to tell him of a weather emergency that affected when he would bring the kids home. I was extremely polite, but the OW would not let me speak to him, and hung up on me.<P>When I asked him later what I should do in the event of an emergency, he actually said to leave a message on his cell and he would get it the next time he got in the car. He said if it was a serious emergency regarding the kids, I could leave a message on the OW's answering machine, because if they (translation - she) sees my number come up on caller id she might not answer the phone. Of course what concerns me is that she WOULD answer the phone, then hang up on me again and I would not be able to reach him.<P>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>So don't even waste your energy on wishing how much he should help... because he won't. Just do yourself a favour and do NOT expect him to help in any way. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Topie,<BR> I appreciate hearing your story. I didn't realize you gave birth to TWINS ALONE!! While your WH was "Out finding TRUE LOVE." I'm happy to hear that there REALLY IS "light at the end of the tunnel (translation: reconcilation after the fog lifts, even if a true disaster hits).<P>I was feeling lower than low. I may have to resort to "scare tactics" (aka: TAKING HIS money) to get through this. I have been trying to leave that acct. alone, BUT it "technically" is OUR money, and I've used all MY money all summer to keep the house going, so maybe it's TIME he contributed to a situation? Maybe then the reality that he still HAS a HOME and responsibilities will sink in. And if not, then let him CALL ME (to vent? scream? complain?) and at least then a dialog can be started. This total NOTHING is very hard to take.<P>He has essentially insulated himself from ANY of his "old life" (me), so it doesn't "interfere" in his new decisions.<BR>Changed cell#, doesn't work, so no work #, I HAVE to call OW's house to get to him. I haven't. Nellie, I will NOT call there - I would get the same reaction you did. Once the money (HIS money) is out of the acct. he'll know it. If he wants to know why, let HIM call ME!<P>I'm half tempted to leave the water on all day, in the hopes that it WILL "damage" something, but I really can't make myself do that. We worked soooo hard and long (over 5 months) fixing this place up, it grieves me to think of intentionally doing damage to any part of it.<P>Cybil, Yes, indeed, it seems like when it rains, it pours! My g/f is also calling him (she asked for OW's phone # to call him re: another legal matter she was taking care of for us). I told her, why? He won't care....she said, "Then you tell me xyz."<BR> I said, "I don't have that info. Only H has it." <BR>She said, "Ok, then I'll call him"<BR>He wasn't there, or wouldn't take her call, OW said she'd "give him the message." <BR>But in the meantime, it all seems to be hitting HIM all at once now! ABOUT TIME!!! It's been ALL MINE all summer, so now it can be his turn. If this is a big LB for him, then let's get on w/div. I'm sick of living in limbo like this.<P>Topie, again, thanks for the boost. I know it wasn't much of a boost at the time, to go through your labor like that, and it IS something he'll have to live w/as you say, but it does help others to hear about it, and it did give me comfort, that it could be a LOT worse! Like MPriss yesterday. <P>Lupo