I don't want to give myself any false hope here but H and I are really getting along. I went to see my counselor today and told him of the past weeks events he tells me that H does not want a divorce but just as he has told me during previous sessions H sees me as being very controlling in the past he's trying to break me. Almost like this is my punishment. He called me today on my cell to see how my day was and then he called again on his way home from work and then called again around 7:00 and I ask him if he ate dinner and he said no he was really tired going to take a shower and go to bed early. Said he'd talk to me tomorrow and I said ok. Usually I would whine about something if he didnt come over. I feel very confident with myself better than I've felt in weeks. My counselor even commented about my new found strength I only hope it lasts. Just felt like I needed to share with someone.<BR>cybil

thanks for sharing! COuld be lifting a tad. DOn't change anything though. Stay steady on your plan. Prove to him that you are willing to give up some control. Yay for you! We have to rejoice in the small steps!

Yeah!! Sounds like a very good sign. I was about the same place you are 4 weeks ago, and my situation just kept improving from there. I wish you the same luck and happiness.<P>Did you read the thread Orchid posted a few days ago about control? On it there was quite a few links to some good books about control. They are:<P>The Control Trap by Barbara Sullivan<BR>The Surrendered Wife by Laura Doyle<P>I'm 3/4 of the way through the first one, it is very good.<BR>HbH<BR>

Cybil,<P>Glad to hear you are feeling stronger and more positive about yourself. See inspite of the good or bad of our WS's, we can still improve. <P>I hope your H continues to show progress. While I caution you before you start jumping up and down with glee (I know that is what we want to do), be aware that this could be temporary or progressive with a few steps back. If that should happen, don't give up. Keep moving forward for yourself. In time, your H will see your progress and decide if he wants to be part of your effort to improve yourself and your marriage. <P>Take Care,<BR>L.

Cybil,<P>I'm happy for you. Our problems stemmed from my control issues and she thinks I still haven't changed. I believe that I have made improvements. We probably never realized that we had control issues. My W is very ammiable and hates confontation, so she never told me how she felt until she had the A. I think they are looking for changes in us so they can predict a change in what they see as a future with us. It's hard as heck to do but we have to hang in there.<P>GC