Oh, where to turn, what to do? How can I Plan A when I am so angry or sad all the time. I've tried not being sad (anti-depressants apparently haven't kicked in), but if I'm not sad, I am extremely angry. My H seems to be regressing, resenting me more instead of less. He said he is trying to work through it, but it seems to me that he is just getting comfortable right where he is, doing just what he's doing. <P>Due to financial problems, and the fact that I don't think I should have to take the burden of all the financial stress myself, I am planning to move out of our rental house and move in with my sister or best friend for a couple of months, and then get an apartment. H doesn't know this right now, and it will involve splitting up the bills and him paying me child support, but I have to do something to get us out of debt. When he does come home, I'd like us not to have to be stressed out about bills on top of everything else. <P>Who knows, maybe seeing me make this step will wake him up. After paying his vehicle payment, me child support, and his half of the bills, he will only have about $450 per month to spend on rent, gas, and food. He's not going to be happy about that, but oh well. Meanwhile, I will be able to save money.<P>Please pray that I am making the right move. I really don't want to move because I love my house, but I truly can't afford to keep staying there if he's not coming back, both financially and emotionally. There are just too many memories.<P>I'm hoping that being in my own place will help me to move forward a little better and leave this all in God's hands instead of interfering. I am truly depressed.<P>God bless...<BR>TIG

Bumping up...any suggestions?<BR>Thanks,<BR>TIG

Sorry you're going through this. I don't know your story, but I agree the financial burden on top of all the other crap is no fun. My H actually admitted to me this past weekend that he came home because of his guilt over what this was doing to us financially, along with the fact that he doesn't think I do as good a job with our 3 kids when he's not around. (Excuse me, I stayed WITH the kids, that should count for something, shouldn't it?)

Myownme,<P>I should think it would count for something. It's amazing how wonderful a mother you are when they are WITH you, but as soon as they leave, they question your abilities. Yesterday, I was going to go walking and my husband was supposed to come and watch our 5 mo. old baby. He wasn't there when I needed to meet my walking partner, so I left him with my 11 year-old son (who has helped me take care of him since he was born, and is very mature and capable of handling him for at least an hour). I assumed my husband was on his way to watch the baby, but he didn't even call until I had been gone about 30 minutes.<P>When I found out he was going to be delayed, I asked my friend to pick up the baby until he got there. My H said later that when he called the baby was crying like crazy. I said, well, he's a a baby and babies cry. I said I'm sure he wanted his bottle, and son was going to give it to him (which my son later confirmed - said his dad called right when the baby got hungry). My friend said he (baby) was fine when she picked him up. My H had the nerve to tell me that I wasn't to leave the baby with my oldest son again. I just looked at him with incredulity, and said, "you mean to tell me that I'm taking care of all three of these boys by myself, and you're going to tell me that I can't leave the baby with S when I have to go out for a few minutes." He said, you can take them to your friends. I said, "I am not dragging him out every time I need to run an errand or something. Our son is quite capable of handling him for that period of time."<P>I mean, the nerve. He has no right to give me orders anymore. He's not there. He will have to accept that as the custodial parent, I will be the one making decisions. I know when a kid is ready to babysit. I've babysat all my life. I used to take care of 3 babies at once, 2 and under, when I was 10 years old. Some kids are just mature enough to handle it. Of course, I wouldn't leave him with him for longer than an hour at this age (unless he was trained in CPR and other babysitting techniques - which I intend to enroll him in when he's 12), but for a few minutes, give me a break.<P>The really funny thing is that not 3 weeks ago H WANTED me to leave the baby with my son until he got there, but I wouldn't because he didn't know how long he was going to be. Oh, but I'm sure he forgot that.<P>Sorry for rambling...like I said, I have alot of anger.<P>Thanks,<BR>TIG