I guess I need to find the strength to go back to her house, get my things out of the other car so I can go home before her sister gets home, to avoid a big confrontation and fight. <P>I agree. And call her later.

Going now to get your things and go home to your safe place seems like agood idea. Do not let yourself look like the evil guy in her eyes. I know is seems hard, but respect her wishes to not see you right now, go back home and take a moment to make some really hard decisions about where you want this to be and how to achieve that goal.<P>Allie

alexy.. of course, I want my wife, my step children, the baby and my life back, better than it was before. I know I have to plan A for real this time.. unlike the many times I did before. I know that this time Plan A will result in a Plan B really soon if I don't see much of a response over the next 2-3 months. Her lease is up in December.. and keeps mentioning that to me.. I know that if I time my Plan A right and work on me.. that I can be there with what she wants and needs at that time. She has SAID that the OM would be out after a month.. and his incident with the violence.. but that is two weeks away and she's not going to kick his but.. out.. er... well she said she wouldn't do that to me either.. but she just did... so there is a double standard here.

I agree with Allie, she is riding that fence, I'm really starting to hate fences. My W seems to think it's a prefect place to hang out. Sometimes I want to take a bat and smack her off that fence and which ever side she lands on so be it, but I do love her and just can't seem to give her up. I know how frustrating it is my weekend didn't go so great but nothing like yours and I'm truely sorry things are going so bad for you. I hadn't checked the MB all weekend and last I checked you were so full of hope. Please keep your faith going, you have been an inspiration to me and I'm sure many others here.

I'm really scared to go home.. .. .. .. I guess that I have had some comfort.. being the 'wounded one' here and I know that I am not going to have that when I get home. I'm really scared to go home and do this alone, I am so tired of the house and the laundry and the dishes, cooking and cleaning and worrying about the place I might be forced out of at anytime. When I go to my family.. they will expect me to follow their expectations of NOT taking a job in Dallas, for a place to stay for a few days. My family is really not behind me on this journey and I don't have their support. I am going to have to weather this alone. I need a vacation from all of this..

Silwl,<P>Thank you for telling me that I am an inspiration to you. I was kinda thinking that I was the one with the worst problems on here and that I was the 'troubled' one.. stay away from him. I really am not worthy to be looked up to. I have done alot wrong over my years at MB and I'm not proud that I have failed so many times to maintain my cool. I am trying and I suppose it does give me strength when someone tells me that I inspire them. Thank you for that.

Scared is OK, But you know what, you will find a strength inside of you that will amaze you.<P> You will find pride, in a clean house knowing you did it for you and the kids<P> You will find Joy, is knowing your a good father and husband, by doing what needs to be done.<P> You will find a respect for yourself!!!<P> You can do this, follow your heart, do not give up yet, it is not time. Show her the husband you CAN be, and even if she does not come back, Have Pride that you can do this alone if need be.<P> I will pray that you and your WIFE find your way back to eachother, Because, I truly hope that is your outcome, I will pray you have stracgth, and support, and the power to find soemthing in eachday that brings you Pride and a Smile<P>Allie

Dear H2Y:<P>Hon, I been reading your story all weekend and I believe you ought to just get your kids and your stuff and just go home...things are at a fever pitch right now and that is not the best time to make decisions. Anything you do from this point on in Dallas is probably going to be a LB to her...and very little can be accomplished with her right now because you are putting her in a bind and she's reacting...back off, go home and work on yourself. I know you want to do something...to say something...that will change her mind...but it's not the right time...and continuing your present actions will probably just make things worse. <P>I am in East Texas...it's a nice day for a change here in Texas...enjoy a nice ride home...get your life straighten out with the business, etc...then you'll be in a position to "have" her back when the time is right.<P>Faye<BR>

<BR> double post sorry<p>[This message has been edited by alexy (edited August 14, 2001).]

Faye,<P>I know your right.. Facing my family after all of this is the worst part. The support from them when it comes to my wife is NULL NADA ZERO..<P>I'm going home and will be leaving here shortly.. I am going to get off of here and stop by the courthouse and check on my position of a restraining order.. I have to protect the boys from this if it gets bad. I can't make that decision off of this weekend.. but I suppose I just need some legal advice for the moment. <P>Hands went to the knife in the scabbard.. and although it wasn't drawn, everyone puts defenses up. SO yes.. forcing me to go .. and the position she took to do so.. was.. just plain hateful and ugly.

H2U, I have to go now, I hope I helped alittle, I usually hang out in recovery, but I will pop in here to see how you are. Have a good trip home.<P>Allie

Well I am going to run to the court house and see about getting some information. I have alot to do before I leave.. unfortunately.. Well I'll check back in before I leave town. See ya in a few ... Thanks to all who talked to me.. (keeping me from running up to her work... and making a big LB) Well See ya in a few.. <P><P>------------------<BR>Semper,<P>Husband2You<BR>*****<BR>Don't make me promises <BR>Baby you never did know how to keep them well <BR>I've had the rest of you <BR>Now I want the best of you <BR>It's time for show and tell<P>'All or Nothing' O-Town

H2U,<P>Went out to pick up an employee from the airport and come back to see this. Wow. Never a dull moment! <P>IMHO, get you and your family back home. Be safe. You can only take care of what is yours. Your children. Your wife is not there for you now. <P>If your family is willing to be there for you but not supportive of your wife and you need them, then go and let them help you. Can't be real picky at this time. Your children need their support also. Who is to say that your family won't change their mind? Who is say that your wife won't come back to H-town? There is a lot of uncertainty and making decisions on her state of mind right now for your family is more dangerous. <P>If she is not showing support for you even in the littlest of ways, you are going to lose the ability to retain your love for her. When you see what she is allowing to happen to your family your parental instincts may be stronger than your love for her. Really at this point, does she even have love for you and your children? Do you parents? Be with the one who loves the children and you. Right now you need them. Don't be with the one who wavers, they (she) will only hurt you more and right now you need support more than hurt. <P>I am sorry it is turning out this way. However, this is not a guarantee it will stay this way. But you need to stay strong. This will be long and drawn out for you. You need to conserve your strength. <P>We will be here. OK?<P><<<<hugs for you and your children>>>> <BR><<prayers for your W>>>><P>Take Care,<BR>L.<BR>

H2u,<P>Haven't heard from you in a while. Please let us know how you are doing. <P>L.

h,<BR>go back home and work on your marriage and financial security from there. Try to get yourself together. At home you can deal from a postion of strength. cl

I'm back home.. now.. Long drive as usual. Developments took place that made EVERYTHING alright after I posted.. well for the most part. I'm home now.. sucks to be here.. but I'm here. Now, I can worry about the reality of losing everything here.. oh well I have to check my email and get some things done.. will post the good developments that came after my last posting in a little bit. I'm okay and the boys are with me.. safe.<P>------------------<BR>Semper,<P>Husband2You<BR>*****<BR>Don't make me promises <BR>Baby you never did know how to keep them well <BR>I've had the rest of you <BR>Now I want the best of you <BR>It's time for show and tell<P>'All or Nothing' O-Town

Glad you & boys made it home safely...<P>I am off to bed now...have a couple of big presentations to prepare for and need to get up early tomorrow to start working on them...<P>Will be thinking of you & boys...<P>FYI...I have family in H...I could ask about their churches, etc...any kind of support they might know of...including employment...(we have a family e-group)...<P><BR>Cali<P>------------------<BR><I>Live Impeccably In Your Word.<BR>Don't Take Anything Personally.<BR>Make No Assumptions.<BR>Do Your Best Always. </I>

Hi H2u and family,<P>Glad you and the boys made it home safe. Been sitting on the edge of my seat for a while. <P>Get some rest and post when you can. If you want me to I can check to see what positions my company may have available in your area. You do have a way with good people skills. If you don't go into law enforcement maybe another profession? I will check and let you know tomorrow. Send me your e-mail if you want & I can sent you the listings. No pressure, just want to see you and your family up and running again.....<P>All the best,<BR>L.

H2U,<P> So what are your job prospects in Houston. I have friends in that area who I could talk to about a job. Might not be quite what you are used to but hey, get on your feet however you can eh? Email me at jdmac1@yahoo.com and I'll make some calls.<P> I was particularly worried about you while reading all your heart wretching posts. I have been exactly where you were/are.<BR>Still am financially ruined. But the worst was wanting so very badly to just roll over and die. <P> The thoughts of helping the demise of the OM were VERY strong. You would shiver if you knew the many ways I found to end his life. And do it so that it would be VERY difficult to trace back to me. But alas, it was not in me to cause such pain for the OMs' BS. Not to mention the fact that I have a very strong faith in God.<P> I am so very glad you returned to Houston. Now give yourself that slap your wife talked about giving you and get your life on track. If it comes to divorce you know that you will have to be on track to 'not' get pulled through the wringer.<P> I have read many of your posts and would agree that you have a quality that can be looked up to. You just need to get yourself, back to yourself. <P>jdmac1@yahoo.com<p>[This message has been edited by jdmac1 (edited August 15, 2001).]

I am so glad your home, Now how is that housework coming along HEE HEE <P>Allie