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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 71
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Yesterday I was feeling depressed about the A and continued contact by WS. Couldn't get it off my mind. Even W could see it on my face. She asked me a couple of times what was wrong. I told her nothing and made up some reason. <P>It was very strange since things have been better between us. Could it be that wedding anniversary and D-Day are next week (8/24)? I didn't know.<P>Well today I snooped, I know a LB. But I couldn't stop myself. Anyway OM deposited $1K in her checking account yesterday. Did this relate to my feelings yesterday? I don't know. It's possible W doesn't know this happened(?). <P>Should I ask her in my best non-LBing way about it? Or just let it rest?<P>Anyone else experience anything like this??
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Joined: Jul 2001
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+,<P>I can usually tell when my W has contact with OM. She usually does not call or email that day. Then the next day she acts nice again. Sometimes she calls at odd hours and might say something that could have waited. I figure she just wants to know that I'm home b/c he is ther and that I am not snooping. I snoop a little too much, but usually in ways I can't get caught. Phone bills, drive by's, etc. At first I didn't care and I got caught, that was bad (huge LB)<BR>I haven't confronted her about contact in awhile and probably will not unless it gets too unbearable. My Plan A I think is working to some degree, but I question her motives on being nice.<P>Are you seperated?<BR>What is your situation, forgive me for not being up to date?<P>GC
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Joined: Jul 2001
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My cues were that when I came home from work and my WH has already showered. We usually showered together. Now he just tells me if they have spoken, because he knows I won't LB.
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Joined: Aug 2001
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gdc,<P>WS is my W and we are not separated. W works w/ OM and may return to work with him in Sept. They are teachers. D-Day 8/00. EA/PA but continues to tell me the A's over. But the OM keeps giving her $. Kind of sad for me isn't it. I want to ask her if she plays to work at same school with him again, but haven't as yet. Don't want to LB with anniver. next week.
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Joined: Jan 2001
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Oh yes, cloud of doom hang over the WS. Moody, can't look at you in the eye, doesn't talk, not affectionate, rude, gets computer eyes, etc. I can tell when she calls. Funny I can usually tell when she is PMSing also. hm......<P>L.
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Joined: Feb 2001
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This is an excellent thread and I find the responses interesting. Orchid, I really believed that with withdrawal came the cloud of doom? Is it the other way around?<BR>
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 335
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When my wife is in contact with the OM, I can tell because she puts on this act of being so happy. The truth is that she is indeed happy. She has him and she has me. But the facade I see is a lot different than when she is truly happy with me. When she is not in contact with him, she is quiet, distant, reserved and depressed. But she hasn't had contact with him in a week and it is getting a little better now. He is coming back from Europe in just over 1 month, and I am desparately trying to make progress in the meantime!
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Joined: Jul 2001
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+,<P>I think your doing the right thing by not LBing. I know it's hard, b/c I think about it everyday. Usually when I have idle time I do something dumb. Like yesterday I called the President of the company my W and OM work and asked if he would like to know if one of his staff docs was having an A with a subbordinate? They tried to get my name and number and I told them I would call them back. Good thing I did b/c that would have been an LB
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Joined: Mar 2001
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My W appears happy shortly after (observation). When confronted, I can tell when its a lie because she immediately twists it around to be my fault. I caught her talking on phone to OM last week and she blamed me for not trusting her and said I was a stalker and I make her skin crawl. Once I present undeniable evidence she backs off and is somewhat amicable.<P>
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Joined: Jan 2001
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Hi T,<P>Cloud of doom hangs during and A and after. I think it is out of guilt. <P>JMHO,<P>L.<BR>
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