thanks cl, I appreciate your concern.<P>FIL and I left on Fri and arrived Sat afternoon. I call WS first thing when we get there, she's fairly calm until I tell her I am in N.O. She asks what I'm planning on doing and told her I just wanted to give her a way of escape. Instead of not telling OM and friends about my arrival she tells them and comes to talk to me. At first she said I ruined all her plans to sneak out of there, but I was able to talk to her for almost an hour and to let her know how much I love her and that the kids love her and need her. For the most part it was a good conversation. She tells us to get a hotel outside of town so she can come up with a plan, these people she's hanging with have got her all wigged out. My thought, she feels they will hurt me if I get too close, as near as her reactions tell me. FIL and I attend an awesome church service outside of town and wait for her call. She tells me to leave, after about 12 min she says she will call back in a few hours. We cruise around and have lunch, at 2 pm I call her and we talk another hour, she almost ready to come home. She asks for an hour to make up her mind and to try to get her stuff together, its in 3 or 4 different places, so we wait. She calls back at 4 she's not ready. She asks if the offer still stands to send her some money for coming home, of course. she also asks if it was all right if she had to leave her stuff. All I care about you, all your stuff can stay as far as I'm concerned. We drive home, its a drive from HELL, my mind is a mess. I've now sent her money and she's committed to coming home by Saturday, and she says it is to stay. All conversations since have been positive. Please continue to pray for our situation. Thanks and God bless.<BR>knight?

knight,<BR>Thanks for letting us know the outcome of your trip to see your W. I was thinking about you and wondering how it went. I'm so sorry she wasn't able/willing to make the trip back home with you. Did she give you a reason why she had to wait til Saturday? What was her reaction to seeing you and her dad there? <P>I hope also she uses the money to get back home. I'll bet these are some LONGGG days, waiting for Sat to get here. You know now you haven't left her hanging with no way to get home. You offered the transportation and when that didn't work, gave her the money. You did what you could. I guess the next move is up to her. <P>Good luck!

Mostly she was mad at me b/c the last thing she wanted was for me to come down there. She would not let me know where she was staying. I asked if I could bring any of her stuff home, she said that would not be a good idea, but appreciated the offer. <P>2 things seemed to really hit home. #1 She hated thinking about what her selfishness is doing to the kids. #2 I told her she was playing a game. She said she just wasn't sure what she wanted. I said that her acting like OM girlfriend just to be accepted by his friends so that you have a place to stay is playing a game with peoples lives and emotions. She was silent. <P>She wouldn't give a reason why she couldn't/wouldn't leave yet. She acts like she has to sneak out of there, on her own terms. <P>After I got home, she called and we talked about getting her home. I told her I was glad she was coming home but wanted to know why she wanted to come home. #1 the kids what else? My convictions to God. what else? I know I'm hurting my family. what else? There are other things but I don't want to talk about them right now. I told her I appreciated her honesty and I would be ready to listen when she was ready to share. I also tried to assure w that when she came home that if my questions got too heavy she'd have the freedom to stop the conversation.(I didn't do that after it turned PA-preMB) <P>I does seem like an eternity waiting to have her home, but now that she's been gone over a month I'm a little nervous on how to start recovery. If she is ready to work on our marriage it should be smooth, but if she continues to waffle, it will be tough. She "says" that when she comes back it will be for good. I think I'll go back thru SAA. If anyone has suggestions, I'm ready to listen.<P>thanks all for taking the time to read/pray/respond<BR>knight?

All I can say is stay in the moment. Forget the past and don't get lost in the future. Just ask God for faith enough to get you through the current moment and listen to your heart. ("Now faith is...")

knightmare.I hate to say it, but you are being taken for a fool . she has now plans to come home at the moment. if she did she would have left. she wants the money for drugs , drink, help boyfiend with bills, etc. I know how hard you want it to be the way you want it to, but just read what she has been telling you. don't be an enabler, you hurt you kids, yourself , and her. don't send money , cut off contact. let her call you . if she comes back be sure and insist she be tested for std's before you allow her back in the house. also, see a lawyer and document her abandonment of the kids and family . for you own and kids protection. good luck

Hello Knight,<BR>I am glad you made it down and back with no major crisis.<BR>And the latest word is ??? <BR>I can understand the hesitancy....but just go with what you know! You know the mb prinicples, use them. <BR>aloha, cl

cl,<P>I posted under in recovery. She is getting on the plane today, should be home at 3:30 cst. Her only question was what our living conditions were gong to be. We will dicuss this when she gets home. It will be good to finally be able to talk to her w/o the mask that she is being watched. <BR>knight