Husband was just here and we had a discussion or argument as he sees it. He says he doesn't believe that I love him. He says that he is comfortable where he is at his place because he doesn't have to deal with me. I told him that I love him and this sort of thing happens to people every day and we can get through it he says right now he doesn't know if he wants to work on our M because there are no guarantees that it wil work and he doesn't know if he wants to go through all of this b******* again. I don't know if I can do this any longer. I love him and I want this to work but he refuses to go to counseling everytime I bring anything about us up he gets annoyed. My father is ill and will have surgery the day after our anniversary. I feel so alone. What happened to that person that use to be there for me? This hurts so much!! I'm tired of doing everything on my own. Tonight he said he doesn't have those love feelings for me. I started to cry and he said that's why I can't talk to you because you do this. I can't help it that I feel so emotional. My birthday is in a few days and I'm sure that will suck too! I feel hopeless tonight.<BR>cybil

(((((cybil))))) hugs to you!!!<P>I'm so sorry you are down tonight. That does suck about your anniversary and birthday. My b'day is coming up in Sept., and I'm hoping thigs are better for me by then. <P>You are not alone, though ok? talk to us, and read some stuff here. And don't give up on your H yet. It doesn't have to be over yet. You have been so strong. it's ok to cry and feel weak for a little bit. Let it all out, then pick yourslef back and and be that strong cybil that we know.

Thanks Faith for the pick me up! I know we all go through this. I don't want to give up on him yet but he doesn't exactly make it any easier. I will just keep praying for strenght and courage and pray that he comes out of his fog soon!<BR>cybil

Cybil:<P>I think that most of what WH says while in the fog cannot be taken for what he really feels...only what he thinks he feels at the time. The things they say are so different once the fog begins to lift...almost opposites. <P>I know it's hard to take this abuse and still have hope that things will change in the future...but I've heard everything from my WH's mouth in the past and it's all been recanted now (or denied that it was ever said). <P>Give him some more time...and patience...he'll come around...and be sorry that he hurt you so much. <P>Faye

Cybil,<BR>Just had a few minutes to check some posts. Lonliness is the worst...I feel the same way. Hang in there. We are all here for you to talk and vent to. <P>Have to run to bed...only a few more days before I go back to work.<P>My h emailed me today. He is not supposed to talk to me because of the restraining order...but I sent him an email about bills and a few things about the kids.<P>He ended his email by saying "Life is not so bleak..take care, Jim". Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... Made me feel even lonlier. I'll be looking for your posts. MnM

Thanks Faith, MnM, and Buffy for the support. I'm so scared that the weekend is here. Sometimes we have a great weekend like last weekend and sometimes I LB and we fight. This is my birthday and I'm so afarid I will be hurt by him. I don't want to expect anything but it's hard not to. I'm trying to hang in there. Thanks again for letting me vent.<BR>cybil.

cybil,<P>Don't let the "fogese" get to you. We all hear the same thing, the marriage is over, nothing will ever change, etc.<BR>If your husband was sounding rational and not following the WS "script", it might be more cause for concern. Don't let him suck you into LB'ing. That's what he wants you to do so it'll will make his decision easier. You don't want to do that, you want to keep him conflicted until the "fog" starts to fade.<P>Don't expect much for your b-day and you won't be disappointed. My b-day was a few weeks ago and a got a lousy shirt and a card from my daughter. No card from my W.<BR>I was disappointed, but I never let it show.<P>Have a GREAT b-day!!!!!!<P>sad dad <P>