Will be leaving for work soon so I don't have much time.<P>Tonight my WS is going to a cocktail party with the "gang" from work. A dress up charity auction type of an affair, no pun intended. She just asks me if I can pick up our little girl at grandma's when I get off work because "Georgette and Pat mentioned something about going to dinner before the party" This means she will be gone by the time I arrive home.<P>Here is the deal, I'm sure OM is going to this deal because he is part of the "gang" from work. I have a great Plan A in place but I know my wheels will be spinning tonight, not looking forward to it. Anyway, what I'm thinking of doing is leaving her this note:<P>Lauren,<P>I'm sorry I won't get to see you before you leave, I'm sure you look incredible. Have a great time tonight and I'll see you later.<P>Love,<P>Brian<P>Generally, she does not like it when I leave her little notes and letters but I have seen some posts here that say notes and letters are a good way to try to meet some EN when spouse really won't let you, and that looking back they can have a positive effect over time if not overdone.<P>So what about it? Should I leave the note? Or just let it go, have a great evening with my daughter and curl up with my bible when I get her to bed.<P>Thanks so much as always. I hope someone responds in like the next 30 minutes.

Haveachance I'm not an expert here but I think the note would be appropriate. No LB's there right? Enjoy your evening with your daughter make it special. Good Luck.<BR>cybil

Thanks for the quick response.<P>I decided to skip on the note. No LB's in it but I am concerned that the note itself could be an LB and I've been doing to good to risk anything. Actually kind of dishonest, I dont want her to have a good time, although she will look incredible, Sigh.<P>Pray for me please.

Wellll? How'd it go?

I say this<P>If she was woman enough she would tell the friend<BR>I cancel the dinner and put my husband and little<BR>girl first have supper at home and kiss them both<BR>and even she should not go to that party<P>If she really wanted to show her face she should<BR>have your hand in hers and the little girl on your<BR>arm go there together say hello and give apologies<BR>and say I am spending the evening at home with my<BR>family<P>She is out of line to go party pooping and leave<BR>you guys at home<P>You are a family and you are too good for her<P>You must become more strict<P>Let her know that it is not on for her to go<BR>out party popping<P>She should be with you and you are not her<BR>unpaid baby sitter<P>You are too good to her<P>Be more quiet around her<P>Take the little girl out without her saying<BR>you are spending private time away<P>Not to punish her but to let her know<BR>via emotional post that you need her too and<BR>the little girl<P>Not mommy out partying and daddy at home babysitting<BR>God bless and keep you and stay in Jesus love<P>See <A HREF="http://www.prayertoweronline.org" TARGET=_blank>www.prayertoweronline.org</A> <P><BR>Carol<BR>

The post from carolbo was right on target. She should be home with you or you should go together to the party. I am afraid she simple will continue her behavior because there seems to be no repercussions to her behavior since you will accept everything she does. I have seen it on these boards time and again that the WS loses whatever respect they had for their spouse because they perceive them as a doormat. I do not know if this is your situation but a married woman should not be acting as single person going to a party where her OM is. I am afraid things will get worse since she will perceive you as accepting all of her behavior regardless. I wish you luck.