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Sunday will be our 12th Anniversary...so far I've endured Mother's Day, Father's Day, my birthday, and his birthday...now our anniversary...<P>Any ideas? suggestions?<P>We are not 'officially' in recovery...he just hasn't left again, yet...<P>He still doesn't want to be married...I am afraid that 'celebrating' or 'acknowledging' the day would be an LB...<P>again...any ideas? suggestions?<P>Thanks,<P>Cali<P>------------------<BR><I>Live Impeccably In Your Word.<BR>Don't Take Anything Personally.<BR>Make No Assumptions.<BR>Do Your Best Always. </I>
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Joined: Jul 2001
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just off the top of my head, can you ask him? "Would you like to do anything for our anniversary?" If he resists or says no, don't push it. just an idea... ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif)
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Joined: Jun 2000
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Hey Cali,<P>They have Anniversary cards available now that express various sentiments for such an occasion. Lora just celebrated her Anniversary and found an appropo Anniversary card that would not be considered an LB if your Spouse does not want to celebrate the occasion with zeal.<P>Lora, was it Hallmark where you found your card???<P>Hope this helps, Cali. And BTW Hon, Happy Anniversary. I hope your H is receptive to commemorating it with love and affection for you.<P>Prayers,<BR>Jo
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Joined: Jun 2000
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I've had to purchase a few "no matter what we have been through" cards myself. They are out there. Even the grocery store has them in the card isle. It's a shame isn't it?
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Hi Cali, I went through the same ordeal on my 10th anniversary in May. All along, my H said, there's nothing to celebrate. I did what Faith advised. I simply asked him what he would want to do. He said nothing. I ended up renting a hotel overlooking the lake for one night. I just didn't want to be home for the phone calls. He ended up coming. I bought him a gift and a card (something like what Cleopatra and Resilient recommended) and it actually went better than expected. I remember posting a thread that asked the question about a gift and recognition. The answer I received was do it. If things work out, he'll remember that you did something special. <P>In the end, it's important that you do what your heart tells you. As long as you feel good about it, it will be okay.<P>Good luck.
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Hi Cali. First of all I read your post to Chazbutler please don't feel as though you would have been "horning in" on my post we're all in this mess together. Regarding your anniversary I agree with the others why not ask him if he would like to do anything special that day if he declines as hard as it may be keep your chin up. Resilient and Cleopatra are right there are so many cards out there that can express your feelings. Good luck hope you have a great day on yur anniversary. My anniversary is in less than a month and I'm wondering how I will handle it.<BR>cybil
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Wow Cali,<P>So close and yet so far away. Our 11th anniversary is tomorrow. We did not celebrate our 10th. Hm..... I feel deprived. Our 11th has H working. We will have a mini celebration by going to a Jazz show Sunday Brunch show. Wanted to spend the night in the hotel also but $$ and his work schedule make this impractical. <P>The conflict of being logical and the need to be romantic. I still want to be swept off my feet but right now there is just as much of a chance of that happening with a street sweeper as with prince what's his name? Oh yea, Prince Charming.<P>I have promised myself that I will have a nice time. So for the part I can control for me, I will have a nice anniversary. Hope you have the same if not better. <P>Happy anniversary,<BR>L.
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Hi Cali. I just wanted to say Happy Anniversary. Let us know what you decide to do.<P>HbH
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Hi Cali,<BR>I just had my 12th too. I left H a card and a small gift. He did not awknologe it in any way, even to say that you. I am at the end of my rope with him I think.<P>I hope yours goes better.<BR>Lora
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Cali, I had to survive the 20th not to long ago, and I did buy a card and left in his car, something about looking back and the gift that God have given us, really nice. didn't go into the future so didn't feel like I was pushing, H never acknowledged the card or the day or said the words but did take me out to dinner.<P>Do what your heart tells you!!<P>And Happy Anniversary to you!!<P>Dawn
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Probably too late for ideas, but I'll give them anyway. Maybe one will seem reasonable.<P>1) Thank him for a previous good anniversary (good memory).<P>2) Don't give him anything but ask for a truce and a single pleasant day (or hour, or a walk) together.<P>3) Tell him how YOU feel about him being there (card). Nothing about future.<P>I don't think there is a "perfect" thing you can do. I think what happens totally depends on him. He knows it's your anniversary and he can choose to make the day nice, or make it hell, regardless of what you do. I hope he chooses to respect you.<P>--Jeffers
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